u/Gloomy_Knee_2764

TLDR; Should I wait until I am able to financially support him while he gets back on his feet in 3+ months, or should I cut it off now and deal with both of us being miserable living together until I get a promotion?

I am a 26 y/o woman and my bf is 31. We started dating when I was 21 - I had a work crush on him but all I knew was that he was cute and funny. He was in a relationship too so I just ignored it which was easy bc we hardly ever saw each other anyway, if we worked the same shift we were too busy to talk but most of the time we only saw each other at shift swap. Anyway, he and his partner broke up and it took maybe a month for him to show interest in me. But when he did, it was “well my baby mama kicked me out because I said I was starting to see someone else” and I offered to let him stay with me and he never left. We have moved through three apartments since, and 4 years later I’m realizing that this isn’t how I want to spend the rest of my life. He hasn’t necessarily done anything wrong aside from the fact that he will claim to change some of the little things that bother me but then doesn’t, and the fact that he has a tendency to guilt trip me for things but package it as a “joke” (rubbing on my thigh and when I don’t respond with enthusiasm he will throw his hands up and be like “oh my bad, I’m just a sex-addicted pos”). Maybe there is more than that, but that’s not really the point of the post so I digress. I have been back and forth on this for almost two years and it has become exceptionally hard after catching feelings for another guy. (I do not plan to break up with him for this guy, I don’t expect him and I to be together at any point but the fact that I caught feeling is just making all of this even harder). My bf knows when I am going through these “phases” of reconsidering our relationship and it wasn’t that long ago that we tried to work things out. I expect that it won’t be long before he realizes that I’m going through it again, but this time I think I am ready to pull the cord. Here’s the big issue: We are financially dependent on each other, he uses my car more than I do, and I take care of his son on the weekends. His son also adores me, and when we have talked about potentially breaking up in the past we decided that I would still be able to be in his son’s life because it’s not fair to him. I am guaranteed a promotion and hefty raise at the end of this summer when I pass my boards exam, and part of me wants to wait until then to break things off so that I will be in a position to help him financial while he gets back on his feet. But the other part of me: 1. doesn’t know if I can keep this up for another 3+ months, 2. doesn’t know if I can lie when he inevitably catches on, and 3. doesn’t want to keep stringing him along. The alternative is that we have to keep living together while broken up until I am able to move out, which is a very uncomfortable position to be in. Plus, I would likely start taking ubers to and from work so he can continue using my car bc if he doesn’t HAVE a car he can’t pick his son up from school on the days that he has him. My commute is like 30 minutes away so financially it’s not the greatest situation to be in, although I may occasionally have a coworker willing to give me rides home. I guess my question is: should I try to wait until I’m able to help him financially, or should I stop leading him on and just deal with 3+ months of both of us being miserable?? I think I know the right, moral answer, but I want to hear some unbiased opinions first. If you read all this, thank you.

I’d like to preface by saying that I have seen a medical professional in the last week and I am following the instructions they gave me, but I am super paranoid about potentially making things worse so I think more than anything I need some reassurance.

Firstly, this issue is a result of poor practice over the last few months having started taking Adderall, noticing frequent constipation, but still forgetting to add in more fiber etc. Here is a brief timeline of the last week for context:

Monday: Went to work, ordered some breakfast since I had an early lunch. Got a wave of nausea while eating but given that this is a regular occurrence I thought nothing of it and let it pass. About an hour after eating I had another wave of nausea hit me but it did not pass. It got so bad I felt like I may faint. I forced myself to throw up hoping it would make me feel better, and it did slightly but not for long. I felt like a BM would be more relieving but couldn’t get one out. Left work early, treated it as food poisoning but the cramps were making me think it may be something else. Missed my chance for urgent care so I went to the ER. Got a CT scan, no abnormal obstructions just a bad case of constipation. Only treatment was zofran for nausea and fentanyl for pain. They told me to take laxatives, an enema if needed, and worst case “put on a glove and try to break it up yourself.” Also, at the ER, I was able to have a slight BM - felt like I was a play-doh ice cream set squeezing out old dried play-doh and not much came out - it was very dense but didn’t come out as a solid BM (sorry but I don’t know how else to describe it lol)

Tuesday: Stayed home, took stimulant laxatives (after I got home from ER so around 12AM), had some loose stool when I woke up but not much.

Wednesday: Powered through work, took stimulant laxatives night before with no luck. Took them again Wednesday night and upped the dose. Tried to eat dinner, made me nauseous all night but not as bad as Monday night and I haven’t the zofran prescription which helped.

Thursday: Powered through work again, stomach is very bloated at this point but not really nauseous because I haven’t been eating hardly anything. After work I got a suppository, used it, and had no luck. Only thing to come out was the medicine itself with traces of stool. Ate some rice and crackers (I am so so hungry)

Friday (today at time of posting): Stayed home from work, bought an enema. It has not been 24 hours since I used the suppository. There is some pain after using it but it’s minimal. I’m still very bloated and getting waves of nausea especially after drinking water.

My concerns:

1. Should I wait 24 hours have passed since using the suppository before using the enema? I’m so ready to clear this out so I can just start up a better regimen of fiber, probiotics, stool softeners, healthier diet, etc. and hopefully avoid something like this again. I want to get the enema over with because I hate the thought of even doing it but I know it probably should be done.

2. What if I’m not constipated and am just harming myself with all of these laxatives and the suppository, then use an enema and potentially have a medical emergency? Like I said I am very bloated, still getting waves of nausea, cramps are very minimal but they do come and go. I more than likely do still have a blockage but there’s still that thought in the back of my mind that I’m making things worse. Anything related to stomach issues makes me so nervous and I don’t want to do the wrong thing.

Thanks in advance to anyone who can give advice whether from first hand experience or from medical experience.