u/Glum-Comfortable5402

So we got into a ‘fight’ 4 days ago and havent spoken since.

Heres what happened. We were at his family’s house, we went there together in one car, and the plan was for me to drive another car back with our daughter so we’d go back in 2 cars. He was supposed to install the carseat to the car i’ll drive back.

While we were in the house, talking with my MIL and SIL, i casually brought up the topic that my husband’s staff are incompetent. My MIL asked how so, so i explained why i think his staff are incompetent, didnt mention anything bad about him, didn’t even mention him. He suddenly got so defensive and angry, he stormed out the door, started the car and drove off. Left me & our daughter in the house, i thought he was just warming up the engine but it turned out he left. The car seat wasn’t installed. We were supposed to drive back together (in 2 cars). I waited for like 5-10 mins while i install the carseat myself, hoping in that time he would drive back but he never came back.

I dont think ive ever felt so disrespected. I was so furious & beyond disappointed by this very immature action of his. On my way back, i texted him. I said what he did was very rude, im so tired of this side of him (short temper), always moody when with me, his mood is unpredictable (when he gets home, hes always on his phone or the tv and sometimes when i try to talk to him, i either get ignored or replied in an agitated tone. we have 2 kids and he’d rather watch tv/phone instead of entertaining our 2 kids- he would entertain them for like 5-10 minutes then his mind is somewhere else). I said that im so sick of ‘enabling’ this behaviour, this is my last straw, don’t bother talking to me unless its important. Then i said, you are selfish and narcissistic & the worst part is he’s so polite and respectful in front of others, i’m the only one who truly knows him. I ended with ‘ i dont care if this hurts you, reality check for you, im done protecting your feelings’

I wanted to be very crystal clear this time, coz in the past when we fight/argue, i would just be quiet. When we do talk about it, i feel unheard, like he either downplays it or be like ‘okay okay’ but nothing really changes. Like it goes in one ear, out the other. So yeah, he never responded to my text about this. In 4 days, we havent spoken about this at all, this is the longest we’ve not talked. Last night, we were in the car alone for like 20 minutes, i thought he would take the opportunity to talk then but nope, it was just silence. The longer we don’t talk, the less important i feel. Comes all these thoughts , does he even love me?
Other than that, he’s a good provider (pays the house the bills etc), & we have a maid, so maybe in his head, he’s done enough. But he’s not much of a family person, we have 2 kids and he doesnt spend much time with them, short temper, road rage, but an angel in public. ☹️

Idk when we will talk again. Im hoping that he will start the conversation but idk how many more days that will be … Was i too harsh in my text?

1. How many oz were you pumping a day and how many oz were in your freezer when you felt comfortable donating?

2. Was it a one time thing (like donating a huge sum to a bank) or were you supplying directly to one baby (like a friend’s child) ? If you supplied directly, did you give from your freezer stash (like 500oz in one go) or did you give weekly based on the baby’s demand?

I’m so amazed at moms who donate milk! You guys are godsend!

I got the medela manual pump to do my MOTN pump coz in my mind, it empties faster & its quiet.

Previously i was using the philips avent brand and i loved it, but since the medela has great reviews, i wanted to try that one thinking that it’ll be even better. So with the philips avent, i would get like ~7oz in like 10-15 minutes. The medela, took so long to get letdown and i think i spent like 20+ minutes only to get 5oz 😑 I use the same size flange as i used with philip avents and with my main spectra, i switched the valve to the white kind similar to spectra.

What am i doing wrong? Or does it just not work for everyone?