I had an awful time in secondary school, mostly from bullying and exclusion. I now have PTSD from my three years there. I'm starting university this year and I'm scared I'm going into the same situation again. Did anyone who had a bad time in secondary school find university better? I just need some hope.
I had an awful time in secondary school, mostly from bullying and exclusion. I now have PTSD from my three years there. I'm starting university this year and I'm scared I'm going into the same situation again. Did anyone who had a bad time in secondary school find university better? I just need some hope.
I had an awful time in secondary school, mostly from bullying and exclusion. I now have PTSD from my three years there. I'm starting university this year and I'm scared I'm going into the same situation again. Did anyone who had a bad time in secondary school find university better? I just need some hope.
OK so I've come up with this myself so I'm not making any promises. But immediately when i see a person and I start to feel panic (especially when they look at me), I try to think of one problem they could have. The more imaginative and absurd the better because i think humour just makes it all seem ridiculous. So over time, you won't associate people with danger anymore and you'll just feel the good feeling after you come up with something that makes you laugh. It's also distracting you from your fear and grounding you because you're focused on observing them and coming up with something funny. It humanises them and doesn't make them seem like threats anymore but just other flawed human beings with their own problems.
My traumatic event lasted 3 years and at the time, I knew the situation I was in was bad. But not bad enough to scar me for life. The first year out of that situation was weird: I never thought about what I went through. I just kept going and never processed it. But this year I feel like it's all finally hitting me. And it's confusing because where was this reaction 4 years ago when the event was actually happening? Is anyone else the same?
I always feel vulnerable and exposed. Like there's a camera and an audience watching my every move. I'm not delusional and I know I'm not actually being watched. But I also feel observed and so self-conscious. Even when I'm alone, I can never relax. ANYONE ELSE PLEASE?
Edit: no one else has mentioned this. But the way I cope with this feeling is always being in the dark. It makes me feel less seen and safer. Does anyone else cope like this?
I fantasise all the time about sacrificing myself to save a lot of people and dying as a hero. Idk if this a CPTSD thing but I'd love to know if anyone else with CPTSD was experiencing this too??
I think this is probably to do with CPTSD but I feel too exposed and vulnerable in the light. Like I'm being watched. Because of this, I always live in the dark in my house and can't open the curtains without having a panic attack. Anyone else?