u/Glum-Yoghurt-1361

Edit: I have no problem with HIM showering. It’s making me shower, that is the problem.

My boyfriend and I (both 20) have a pretty healthy relationship and we have sex multiple times a weekend when I can see him.

My sex drive is a lot bigger than his, he could have sex 2-3 times Friday-Sunday while I could 5+ times. I’m *okay* with this, however, his conditions for sex have been throwing me off which lowers the amount to 1-2 max.

EVERY time after we have sex it’s mandatory that both of us need to shower. It doesn’t have to be an everything shower thank god, but a 5 minute rinse with soap at minimum. While I’m thankful I have a clean and hygienic partner (as someone who struggles with extreme contamination ocd) it has become more mentally exhausting recently and led to me turning down propositions which I would never do in the past.

I’ve told him that while I am always eager to be intimate with him, the idea of having to get up, take a whole shower, dry off, brush teeth, wash face, skincare, turns me off of the idea.

Sex is messy. I’m not saying we should sleep in our mess, but sometimes I just wanna pee, use a flushable wipe on the affected areas, get a lil mouthwash rinse and tongue scrub and pass out in his arms at night. We tend to have sex multiple times in a couple hours, so for example:

Eat dinner, then get home. If we smell like food after dinner but don’t have sex immediately upon returning he still wants to shower anyways to get rid of the food smell (sometimes understandable). If we do have sex that’s one shower. Then later, we may again, but I’m less likely to want it because I know I’ll have to shower AGAIN. And even worse, when we wake up, a third shower? No!

I’ve made sure I don’t smell. We both don’t smell and don’t sweat a lot during the act. I just don’t know what to do. He seems to be fine with the idea that I’m declining intimacy based on the fact I don’t want to do his whole routine afterwards. I’m pretty sure he has some form of OCD, coming from someone with OCD (diagnosed). But it’s just really getting in the way…

Edit to add: I always shower before sex (3 hours beforehand max) and it’s always an everything shower (hair removal, lotion, body oil, perfume, etc) so showering after when I know I wasn’t dirty is just … yeah. We also put down a towel so the sheets are never dirty after. AND it’s not like we’re leaving and sharing our “stink” with the world, it’s usually in a period between a Friday night to Saturday or Sunday mornings… why shower every damn time when we’re just sitting at home??

Hello! So long story short, I’m studying abroad this summer and I’ve received almost $13k in surplus scholarships and aid. Meaning after my summer tuition is paid, and my plane ticket, I will have $13,000. Obviously I will use some of this during the summer, but I am very frugal, and not expecting to spend over $3k especially in Asia. I’ve never had this much money in my life— I’m 20F in college, and usually have around 3k in my account at all times from my part time jobs.

Wtf do I do with this money? Do I just let it sit in my bank account? For context, I’m on full scholarship to college which includes housing and food until I graduate. I have no debt or other financial burdens to take care of. Help please!! 😭

Hi! My bf and I are going to PR in early may and staying in SJ. I really wanted to go to culebra for the more secluded vibe, but it is so expensive to get there especially as we cannot rent a car. Are there any beaches in/very near SJ that have the more secluded vibe with less tourists? Both just having less people and also maybe that untouched vibe. I know it’s an unreasonable ask but I thought I’d try.