u/Glum_Day_1528

I miss you so much tonight. Not sure why.

My whole body and mind is aching for you. I never want to stop talking with you, I want to close every bit of distance between us and hold you close to me all night.

Im really missing you. I wish there was more time in a day.

You are not here, i can not touch you.

Yet I am always thinking of you.

I am there even when i am not.

Holding your hand as you walk down the street.

Hugging you from behind while you're in the kitchen.

Wrapping my arms around you while you lay in bed.

Cuddling into you, resting my head on your shoulder as you read a book

You feel that? im kissing your cheek, your neck, your soft lips.

Im always with you and you are always with me, even when we are not.

Because quite simply, I love you.

Maybe I was just stupid?

Its been months, months of playing this questioning game, did you mean that? Are you just being friendly? Am I miss reading here.. even though anyone I was comfortable asking about it says it was a little odd. You call yourself crazy, a lunatic even but I never seen you act like that around the others, or was I just not seeing it? I didnt know how i supposed to take what you thrown at me in those little 5 minute conversations, but i guess I ran away with it anyway.

Its been 9 days since it happened

I sat with you, when you booked us a 40 minute slot, an open window, the last hurrah. I walked in and you immediately complimented my scent, not caring who was around. We talked, laughed, you called me great but couldnt look at me when you said it. Complained i was too far away with only two tables between us... it even got a little dark and laughed when we both didnt realise and the light was switched on. Of course, we finished the main subject early. We both know her way too well and pratically flew through it. You made it very known we had finished early, we could of just got up, said goodbye and that was it, but no.. we carried on talking, you started asking questions, you described how my brain worked, and you was right.. how hard have you been studying me? Do you study everyone? The laughter bounced back and forth, you cried talking about your family, it was beautiful to see you so open and honest with me. I opened up, told you things I dont usually tell anyone.. and rather than calling me a weirdo or giving me a look, you embraced it, testing my knowledge with a question, you leaned into it, asking what I get out of it and what does it feel like. You gave personal opinions which your job shouldn't allow you to do. Getting into my family dynamics and if she should see him.. what does she even get out of it? even going into how i met him. The subjects kept going.. we was getting to know eachother out of the roles that we had been given. You told me you would always be there and if i ever felt uncomfortable that i could go to you. Then the time was finally up. The window was over. I thanked you for everything once again and told you how much I needed that moment in july. You remembered, but you tried to play it cool. Telling me you know im not a hugger, when you know I told you opposite last time, so I told you the same again. We hugged and your boss saw us.

Now, im a stranger. You dont even acknowledge me. Walking past me like im not even there. I wish it wasnt so hard to not look at you. Ive seen you stood there, holding the door open, or even standing behind that said door, looking in my direction, like them automatic doors i stand infront of are intresting.

I don't get it and I don't get you. How can we have such a deep chat, that was so far from our roles, so unprofessional.. then just pretend I dont even exist? To never say another word to me again.

Oh well, I clearly read everything wrong.

Never to be sent.

I mean, I was busy. I was with my best friend getting a well needed confidence boost.. but every single minute that went by, I thought of you.

I thought of our conversations

I thought of what you was doing

I thought of what you could of been thinking

I thought of how your day was

I thought of if you smiled and what at

I thought of you.

To see someone smile, to laugh, to feel something new, feel brave, confident, free, happy... whatever it may be.

Giving all my love is my love language