u/Glum_Negotiation_974

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I grew up hearing all the warnings about social media, but when your only real friends are behind a screen, you start to think that distance is safe enough. My name is Eil, most call me E or Sue because of my light brown curls. I just turned 16 this year, and even though high school feels the same as last year, I still try to make it a good day.

This morning I styled my curls into two ponytails with a bow sitting right behind my bangs. I put on my red tank top with my black skirt and grabbed my red glasses before heading out to wait for the bus like I do every year. I walk into the bus and sit alone watching the places that go by, like Mr. Hill sitting on the same old rusty bench with his book in hand.

Mr. Hill always seems out of place with his gold jewelry that compliments his green coat and his brown fancy shoes, without realizing it the light turns green. Looking back at the bench I see Mr. Hill staring at me, his hazel eyes sharp as always. I quickly waved before going back to looking at the new view, trees and houses going by.

I used to point at all the houses and know where everyone lived before, but most of them had moved out other than Mr. Hill, his house all the way behind woods only been there a couple of times mostly during summer break. He was always nice even though he did not talk much because most people did not understand him because of his thick German accent. Also, he did not have a reason to talk, our new neighbors are younger, about 21, maybe Mr. Hill thought it was weird to talk to them because he was in his 40s, most people did not know that though considering he looks young. My dad and Mr. Hill are friends, most of the time he is at our house like during dads dates or when he goes to the gym, I only talk to him during mornings.

Before I was able to finish my thought the bus stopped, looking up at our next stop was my friend's home but it was different. Most of them had boxes in their front yards, looking away from the window I see Gaby and Frances wearing pink and white dresses matching with the other girls in their neighborhood. I got up to point to the seats next me trying to get their attention, Frances ran next to me while Gaby mouthed sorry which means she sat with her sisters.

France was always next to me since first grade, likely for the same reason I always sat with her because no one would talk to us. Me as well as Frances was considered weird because I was mixed and stuck out like a sore thumb and Frances was on the spectrum so people thought we were gross. Sometimes I wondered if she would leave my side if she was like the other girls before I could even finish that thought as well. I felt poking at my side, it was Frances, she pointed to her new bag that was pink with gold rims on it. Looking closer at it I see in white letters Moynat. Moynat was an expensive brand. Sometimes I forgot that me and Frances were still more different than the same.

Frances moved closer to me while she held the bag closer to her lap, "I went to the mall and bought this ado-rraaa-ble bag like gag-me-with a spoon! It was on like a big deallll, only one thousand dollars OH MY GOD!!! When I say this is like the best day of my life." Seeing France so happy made me feel happy as well, hearing her go on and on about her bag did not feel like she was trying to flex, honestly she has a way of making everything feel humble that is uncommon with most people at this school flexing how rich they are and how they are more important than you.

The bus came to a stop looking up, we saw our school and before we knew it everyone rushed off the bus, after we finally left and ran inside. We stood there waiting for Gaby who was running at full speed trying to get in but she made it, "Hello Miss Gaby!" Trying to say it as loud as I could.

Gaby looked at me "WHO IS READY TO RUMBLE?" Trying to beat Gaby by shouting is impossible but she seems to like it when I try to challenge her. Now that she was up close, she was more silly today. That was probably because she heard golf was canceled but before I could ask, "guys, guess what! Wait, do not guess I will say so, you guys know that I have been to the student council meetings a lot and we finally figured out a theme for prom!!! It is going to be drumroll, IN THE GALAXY. Is it not the best!"

I said bluntly "I thought you were over the volunteering events? I mean it is an amazing opportunity but why did they change ur role" after a few minutes of silence than I hear Gaby again "I was hoping someone would of told u" while Gaby hit Frances arm "me and Frances are taking a 3 year long trip because of the golf tournament so they put me on prom duty as a gift!" I felt my heart break knowing that my only friends were going to be gone for my whole high school life. “When are you guys going?” I tried to say it without seeming so desperate but it’s hard, Frances frowns “in about a week…I'M SO SORRY! We can still text and call, please don’t be mad!”.

Frances' response made me laugh then the realization hit me full force…”yall leaving in a week? Why didn’t yall tell me sooner like we could of planned to hang out before all this happen”

as you can see…it’s kinda bland and lacks flavor! I want some story telling even though it will be smut. What should I add or focus on?

I was friends with this dude for 3 years. Honestly he was my rock and I loved everything about him even with his weirdness. He never tried to blend in to the norm.

In the years of knowing each other I felt weird with him like I wanted to be with him at every single moment. He felt like my other half and my heart beat for him every single day. This feeling never went away and actually it grew. No matter who I dated in the back of my mind he was there.

Finally I dated someone but that relationship was mostly sexual and I was a very bad person in that relationship as well. When that ended there was a rumor that I cheated on the dude but I never did. My friend was friends with him and he went silent on me and I felt physically ill. This went on for weeks. Then I broke down after he left and didn’t talk to me. Another one of his friends saw me and I think he told him because he talked to me the next day and asked if I cheated. I said no because I didn’t but I felt so happy that he talked to me again that I wanted to cry.

After months I said I loved him. We dated but I cheated because I didn’t feel that spark. Not the one that we had when we first met but the one a lover has. I realized that my love for him was from him being the best person in my life. I didn’t tell him what I did because I knew he would be my friend no matter what I said. But when I did tell him I lied because I cheated on him with his friend. It was the same one I broke up with in the beginning and the one he originally asked me if I cheated on.

I regret it every day. I cried for days and I texted his account for months even when I knew I was blocked. I missed everything about him. Recently I told him I cheated during that time and I found out that he doesn’t hate me. I am so happy but I know I cannot show my face again because I betrayed the only person in the world that would stay by my side and loved me for everything I have. If you are in this situation do not make the mistake I did