r/AdviceForTeens

Throwaway!

I (15F, 16 next month) recently got asked out by this guy (17M) while at his job. When he first saw me, he held onto my hand while I was handing him money and neither of us attempted to let go. When he finally did, he immediately started flirting with me and although I was flustered — I didn’t necessarily feel a connection however I did find him attractive.

His coworkers noticed this and because I was the only customer there at the time (Building was completely empty), they all gathered together and pushed me to give him my number. He, however, asked for my social media instead and when I later asked why, he revealed it was because he didn’t want to pressure me into saying yes and wanted it to be my choice.

Since then, I have given him my number and he’s been telling me that when he saw me, it was love at first sight. I think he’s sweet, and I’ve reciprocated his advances just to see how it turns out or if this could possibly turn into something more. However I’ve been single for over 2 years now and whenever I text him, it feels like a burden or responsibility. I also noticed that whenever we talk — we have virtually nothing in common, at all.

Not even 48 hours into meeting eachother, he told me that he loved me and it caught me completely off guard. I ended up saying it back because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, which I now regret. We’ve already made plans to see eachother Wednesday but I’m no sure if I should even go through with them or end things right now. I’ve been holding onto hope that maybe things will be better in person but my spirits are low. It’s obvious he likes me more than I like him and I feel terrible about it, I don’t want to break his heart but I also don’t wanna lead him on either? I don’t have much experience in dating so I don’t know if this is a common feeling.

Is it normal to not feel an immediate connection to someone? He seemed so passionate about loving me so I tried to give it a chance, thinking that it might’ve been fate or something. I now realize though that it’s unlikely to fall in love that quickly and he instead might be attracted to my physical appearance instead and mistaking his feelings. Any advice is greatly appreciated, thank you !

Hi! So I (TM16) and J(M15) have been dating for almost a month now. And he’s really sweet and nice, and treats me right. But I feel really bad and like I’m an a-hole for not loving him. Like I know the spark isn’t there. And unfortunately I have to see him every month so if we break up it would be super awkward. He really likes me and I don’t know if I should just let this be a phase or if I should let him find someone better.

I know that HS is the experience time and you’re not going to find your true love/ soulmate so young, but I feel like I should feel more than I do. I would like to tell him but he’s autistic and doesn’t understand certain concepts.

Thanks in advance!

17F. These days, I've been feeling like I want to meet people online, eventually to date them. I tried irl, too. But it's just that every person I meet, I can not view them other than just as a friend. So, thought to give online dating a try. Is this a good idea? Can anyone tell me how their online dating experience went?

hello internet! i, 16f, applied for a job that my ex, 18m, works at. yes, very stupid decision, but i've applied practically everywhere in my town and now i'm branching out to nearby cities. my ex sexually assaulted me my freshman and his junior year and while i have worked out my feelings in therapy, i'm concerned he will bring it up. i have an interview on tuesday and i need the money, but i want advice on what i should do in the event i'm (hopefully) hired. do i reach out to him and ask him to pretend like nothing ever happened?

edit: spelling mistake

For some context, both of my parents have had a very hard teen years, both with parents who didn’t really care about them or what they did. So since I became a teen they have been on my case about everything I see as ‘normal teen experience’.

Anyway, I’m 17, and I got invited to a bonfire ‘party’, my friend did tell me that there will definitely be drinks and weed, I particularly don’t really don’t drink or smoke and don’t plan too.

I told my mum about it and she immediately turned it down because there won’t be any adults at the party, even tho I’m 17 and feel like I don’t need a adult or a chaperone (which my mom offered to chaperone me at the party)

But now I kinda feel like I’m missing out, my friends went out to parties and I feel like I’m the only one in the group who always has to decline and I’m afraid they will stop inviting me because I’m always not able to go.

So basically me (f15), my little brother (m13), and my mom (f44) are staying at one of her friends (m5?/6?) cause she's cleaning his house and she doesn't wanna take me home leave off with his vehicle (that's the way we came) because 1. she still has to clean (and wants us to help) and cause 2. it would be rude to leave with his truck which i understand BUT she knows i have a huge fear of being SA's/raped (which is why i was begging her to take us all home) and still refuses so wut should I do to stay up all night

P.S.: I know i could being paranoid and just not trusting him but still would rather be safe than sorry

Backstory;
Highschool was difficult for me because I moved around so much after my single father's death at 15. I moved into my aunts house and after a year adapted into my friend groups.

Sophomore year a new girl moved into our grade and she was sweet and really pretty. I noticed she didn't talk to a lot of people so I introduced myself to her and my friends. She got along great with us and made friends fast. We started to hang out a lot after school and got really close.

We was best friends for about two years, spending most of every day together and going everywhere. Most people knew you couldn't have one without the other. After awhile our friends started to drift apart but me and her stayed close and even got closer because we were the last two.

One summer we didn't have any friends after shit hit the fan, I dropped out, and we just did things at the house or went swimming at the YMCA. School was starting up and she asked me if I'd go back and re enroll since she didn't have anyone but me. I said yes and went back the next month with her.

I was sick to my stomach because she wasn't picking up her phone and life360 was off. I figured her parents grounded her because they was a little on the strict side, but no. I walked up to her in the hallway and she looked like she'd seen a ghost. She looked right at me and walked away and started talking to girls that specifically didn't like me.

I went to class and tried texting again but no luck. She sat across the hall on another wall with the same girls for lunch and would get up and follow where they went so I couldn't come talk to her. I waited all day to get home and call her to only find out she blocked me. I was hurt and confused and called our mutual friend, unknown, and they told me she started a rumor I was on Me** and that's why i'm so skinny and have so much energy.

She also was telling people I was screwing my uncle, and obviously that's not true either. He graped me and she knew that.

What should I do:
That all said:: I been making amends and I'm trying to cope on if I want to let this eat at me my whole life or just text her and find out why.

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So they were serving dinner then my mom said they said nothing can happen bad except if we get caught with our pants down I am tired if them having sex all of the time I catch them every weekend when they drink. This is like the 8-12 time this year alone I have caught them. Now I have to eat holiday dinner and feel grossed out. I have so much trauma from this year alone

So for context, there's this boy at my old middle school (which i just graduated from) who i think is really cool. Like really really cool, he has sort of the same interests as me which is the best thing ever for me when it comes to making friends AND he's also a bit of a geek. I'm not even sure whether i like him like that however my heart beats really fast when i see him, buttt then again it does with all my friends aswell because they're the sweetest people ever. The issue is, he's really all buddy-buddy with an ex-friend of mine who slvt-shamed me for being an early bloomer and said to my face that "And you wonder why women get r(imagine the worst thing that could be said in this exact scenario with all the context i tried giving pls😿)d" after i wore a pair of jean shorts and black leggings in the summer. And while i did tell him what that guy friend of his said to me while holding back tears and all, he seemingly didn't care too much and is still friends with him. He even sent me a video of the dude like a month later like what i said to him just flew right past his ears. I truly wanna believe that he's a good guy at heart who became heavily influenced by that person and wants to fit in a friend group that shouldn't be his to begin with, Edit:something that i've been through myself with a group of really mean and ableist girls who tormented a literal second grader just to see how long it would take for him to have a nervous breakdown (Don't worry, i left them when i found out what they were doing and started taking care of the kid myself during times where i was able to do so) Orrr maybe he's dumb in general but this is not it.

I really need advice on this, i find him so cool, is there any way to revert him back to being normal because i sure do remember him being more normal or do i give up my hopes and dreams of having someone to talk to about my geeky stuff?😞

P.S. sorry if the way i phrased this is bad, english is my second language and i am very much learning!! :D i also have no idea whether i used P.S. the correct way or not

14f my parents control my computer and only give me 30 minutes of mobile screen time. My dad keeps my computer on lock like all fucking day unless I'm supposed to be doing homework. It's the weekend and they don't allow me to go outside, use neither my phone or computer and there's nothing else for me to do. I feel so restricted. I could go for a twenty minute walk and I'd be spammed with calls asking me why I'm in the town which isn't even five minutes away. They're taking my teenage life away from me and complain about how I don't have any fucking Friends. Well MAYBE just MAYBE it's because you don't let me socialise with people neither in real life outside or even via text. They just take absolutely everything and want to know everything about me when they just complain about how I could be better after I tell them. ​Genuinely, what can I do to have even just a bit more freedom? They don't care about anything besides how I am doing academically and even when I tell them how I'm doing they compare me to other figures. It's like I can never satisfy them.

Hi, this is going to be kinda short.

How do i get my partner to leave me? I love him in all but im not good enough for him; i know he can do alot better than me. And i have a strange feeling that hes just settling for me. I dont care how i get him to leave i just don't want to leave him heartbroken, i want him to leave like its his choice or what he's supposed to do. I dont mind him leaving me feeling angry at me i just don't want him to be too sad.

basically I had my first 9 hour shift ever 2 days ago and after I decided to go to the gym and I got home pretty late (9 pm ish) and Ieft the house at 8 am so I'd been out for 13 hours. My parents were playing pickleball and they get home at around 11 and ask me if I want to go to this pub to get wings and so I said yes after some convincing because I have another 9 hour shift the next day and I knew I'd be tired.

I get to the pub and apparently it's actually a pickleball group meetup with 20 other people and my parents just failed to mention it. I was already tired and I really only wanted food so I was annoyed with how many people there were and when my mother asked me how I was I said "If I knew your whole group was here I would've stayed home" and I admit that was rude to say but I was being honest because I didn't have the energy to interact with all these people and stay for so long at the pub.

I get home at 1:30 am and I have a shift that day and my mom berates me saying that she raised a monster, that she's never doing anything for me again, and that im the most ungrateful child ever and she doesn't want to speak to me again.

My dad has been talking to me but my mom has just been glaring at me the whole 2 days, I don't even know what to do anymore I've been apologizing so much.

So...me and my boyf both virgins at that time had our first sexual encounter 2 weeks ago and it was in my 10th day of my cycle

But my cycle length is 33-35 days long so my ovulation also generally happens late i think cuz my cycle length is long

But we did use condoms correctly and the condom didn't even tear during sex and during sex since it was our first time due to performance anxiety after i gave him a bj and he came during the bj , he was semi-hard during sex so he didn't orgasm during sex and even I couldn't orgasm but we did enjoy it

And like the condom didn't tear we did check it and after the sex within 9 hours I also took I-pill ( it's like an emergency contraceptive pill only to be taken in emergencies since it has strong hormonal effects and other side effects )

Ik I shouldn't have taken the emergency contraceptive pill but me and him were so scared and worried , we took all the precautionary contraceptive measures , I didn't really get any side effects of that pill but yeah I won't take it anymore since it's not even good for health

Did we do everything right...?? 😭😭Cuz ngl I'm really worried what if smth happens 😭😭

We would be safe right?? Since he didn't ejaculate , the condom stayed on the whole time and didn't tear and I took the emergency contraceptive pill too ( it was not necessary but our fear made me take it )

i’m a 15 y/o girl and today this guy at my job let me know that the dishwasher (like 50y/o) is a sex offender.

i told my boss about it & asked if she is going to fire him
i don’t think she knew when he got hired) bc i don’t want to be around a sex offender at work and my friend who told me warned me that he thinks he’s weird towards me.

but now i feel bad because technically sex offenders are allowed to have jobs and he’s always been really nice to me. but also i feel like i should’ve known im working with an offender, and i don’t want to put myself in a dangerous situation during closing shifts when there is nobody else around

his charges are aggravated indecent liberties w/ child and then lewd & lascivious exposing sex organs to another TWICE.

i guess what im asking is am i being a little dramatic over all of this bc he has not done anything wrong to me please let me know your thoughts guys

PLS LMK i’m stressing

EDITS!! PLEASE READ
- this is on me for bad wording, but when I talked to my manager I didn’t ask for or mention him being fired at all, I asked “what she was planning to do about it”, and even sent a text later saying I understood if he couldn’t be fired and that I would just do what I had to do to keep myself safe

- my boss didn’t do a background check before hiring him, she didn’t know he was an offender before.

- i DO know his charges. He had a count of aggravated indecent liberties w/ child in 2002 and 2 charges of indecent exposure in 2023!!

- i don’t believe in scumbags who rape children rehabilitating and being able to reintegrate into society so if you want to try convincing me of that don’t bother.

Not sure if medical advice is okay here. But, I am 13m, 5'7 maybe 5'8, 170cm, and I weigh 112.8 lbs or about 51 kg. I am not sure if this a a coincidence but I started tracking how much I eat. I would make 1000 kcal smoothie that consisted of milk, greek yogurt, oats, and bananna from a recipe I saw online that said it would help me bulk. I have eaten about 3000 kcal for the past 3 days. But on the second and third day I would just not stop feeling hungry there was always an anticipation that I would be starving in the next hours. My diet is mostly dairy since thats all that's really in the frigde for me to eat and all my mom buys. I don't ask for any intrigents for anything else. Sometimes she buys fast food or my sisters buys and gives some to me. I woke up today and I was starving. I did not feel like eating and I did not have that motivation to get up. I also happened to have low sleep this day and felt like I could faint. I made the smoothie again and drank it. I felt physically full but not mentally full. I was not hungry but still. About an hour or two after I starting feeling hungry. But I didn't eat I just did not feel like it plus there is nothing I want to eat it's always the same foods. Now I im starving again and can't bring myself to eat. There is nothing I want to eat or that will make me actually full. I ate yogurt but I am still starving. My stomach hurts a lot. My mom said she will buy food but that will be in like 2 hours she is at work right now. It's not the smoothie because I have made simliar ones in the past nothing like that has ever happened. I track because I want to see how much protein I eat. I have a post on my profile for slightly more info read the comments. Please what should I do. My sister is home but I know she won't care and will just tell me to go away. Maybe it's my fault I am not eating.

EDIT: Since people want to blame it on marcos that is not the case I get an average of 150g protein, 100g fat and 300g carbs.

Currently I am 18f going on 19 and into my senior year university. The only friend I really made was off the university reddit. I joined a bunch of clubs even becoming e board member for one and then proceeding to lose the election the next year because the other candidate was cooler and ran on nothing??? I have had no relationships and no hope on dating apps. Even ignoring all that I found i probably have autism and adhd, definitely cptsd, and a chronic illness that has no cure and i just developed an allergy to one of the only treatments.

People keep on insisting this is the best time of my life but it is i am in for whole round of misery then. What can I do to remotely fix my situation?

I “overdosed” and went to a hospital then an inpatient mental hospital for that but I don’t know if I truly overdosed or not. I don’t know where my parents keep the discharge papers and when I went to the hospital’s website I needed parents ID to request records or to login to a chart. This is really bugging me because I don’t feel valid because I don’t know if I really overdosed or not. I don’t remember anything from that day. Someone said I was in and out of consciousness and was mad and crying but I don’t remember anything.

So I really cant get over of my anxiety to comment/chat anywhere. Its a constant fear that I might be in danger or be cancelled or reported for some reason and I've not even remotely done anything wrong.

Any app I open be it youtube, reddit, discord etc. I generally use them for news, gaming, anime, memes, books discussion etc. I just cant feel safe for some reason, some days I feel I left my phone open and my parents might interrogate me about what Im doing and random voices just come back. I also get random thoughts where I type something carelessly (like being half asleep/or being angry) and then it's gonna ruin my life.

I've taken months/years of breaks and found socializing irl safe and found other hobbies, but I dont think its normal to have this fear. Sometimes I wanna discuss about niche shows, games, music etc and it's not possible for my irl friends to be into every single thing.

it's been happening for several months now, though i thought i had fixed it awhile ago. i thought it was because i wasnt eating, but now that i am it's still happening. even when im just in the car, i'll get lightheaded. today at the gym i got super lightheaded after a set even though i ate well beforehand and was hydrated. there is a minor heatwave going on rn so that may have something to do with it, but it still happens even when theres air conditioning. what else could it be?

heyaaa! so during my final highschool exams i (19 F) met a guy (19 M). The exams were split in three days this week and every day of another exam he was seated behind me. We talked before, during & after each exam, about interests and solved together questions.
I was the first to say hello and start talking:) conversations were funny and had a natural flow, you know? Like we were both engaged.
On the last day, i asked for his number and he gave it to meeeee. We hugged and agreed to meet up next week :)))

Now, here’s where my mind is at. PHYSICAL ASPECT. I am a brunette, 1.70ish and about 15 pounds overweight give or take. He on the other hand, is taller than me, blonde and lean.

I believe that he could’ve just shut down my initiative to talk if he wasn’t interested in talking (to me). But maybe he put up with it to have a test buddy during the exams? BUT if i was only an exam buddy, then he wouldn’t have given me his number and agreed to meet up soon, right?

WHAT DO YOU THINK? -> be honest 🫶