u/Good-Tension2232

Short clip of MIA talking about her clothing brand and Joe Rogan mentioning some invasive tech!!!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DaI4EJjT91V/?igsh=N2R4YzZ0ZnZvd2Rn

First of all, hello everyone. I’m deeply sorry that we are all experiencing any of this. & a special Hello to the people who are targeting us, I’ll be praying for you.

This post is mostly me venting, sharing and hoping someone understands, with a few questions too.

I’m certain this has been going on my entire life.
I’m not sure exactly when I became aware that the people closest to me were for sure involved. I was always skeptical and noticing way too many coincidences.

Fast forward to now, my first ex and my current situationship are both actively targeting me and have been for at least 18-25 years.

My current situationship is actually incarcerated. Yet is still somehow able to participate in the live and recorded v2k. He will relay messages that I’ve heard on v2k back to me over an actual phone call. As well as Thoughts I kept to myself, words or phrases spoken back to me. So I KNOW he is involved. In fact last night he jokingly said “they’ll read your thoughts and arrest you,” about something we were laughing about. (In Japanese culture, kids as young as 1-2 yrs old are given responsibilities. A show about them running errands… “but if we did that here (US) or even thought about it, they’d read your thoughts and arrest you.”)……. Okay, so I KNOW he is involved. You absolutely cannot convince me otherwise.

My question here is, how is he still participating if he is physically behind bars? Underground cities? V2k in his cell, coming back to me? Or he is also experiencing v2k? (I think he is part of some organized crime that actually works for the government, to ensure surveillance, if that helps your inquiry, and has spent most of his adult life in and out of jail or prison)

From the very beginning of our relationship, it felt staged. We hit it off, he got arrested then disappeared, AFTER being released, for two weeks, came back… and it continued like that for the duration of our relationship. Love bomb, disappear, bread crumb, abuse, disappear etc etc
I was basically blackmailed and threatened into staying in a relationship with him. He said he will kill me and anyone I end up with, and their whole family.

My other question is the first ex. My first love. The one I trusted with my soul. The one I used to think of as my safe place or my home, while my current situationship was abusing me, physically, mentally, & emotionally.
WHY, would he continually berate me, cut me down, deny me, publicly humiliate me, future fake (both through actual communication AND v2k) … only to shame me for not performing perfectly, abandon me over and over again…. And shame me for not loving him or myself the right way? Before I knew what he was doing to me, I actually went to him for help LOL …
Did he ever think of this as an actual viable option for behavior modification? Did he actually believe he was helping me? Or has this been plain torment from start to finish? To keep me in a state of constant cognitive dissonance? To make sure I never pursue my purpose?

I will also say I have been very openly Christian my entire life, straying and questioning God more than I should have… while he has been very openly a satanist, but sometimes leading me to believe he still believes in God and might possibly consider what I had been trying to tell him.

***if you made it to the end of this post, thank you. I read so many people saying they’ve mostly overcome this already. I want that to be our story!! I want to do the right thing. I want to live the best life possible.

Thank you to everyone who has generously shared their knowledge, encouragement or compassion within this community.

Does anyone here have a pretty solid understanding of who their handlers are and why?

A lot of people will say not to think you know who they are… that they imitate voices’s of people in your life.
Maybe that’s true to an extent for me, but i know exactly who is doing this to me. They are not ashamed or afraid and know that I know who they are. I’m just not certain when it started. Probably my entire life….

It’s maddening to be in therapy, trying so hard to get better, and not able to speak on the severity / reality of the situation.

I felt things amping up and they have been none stop. Back to commenting on every thing I do, all the food I make, how I look while I’m sleeping… all negative energy, threatening my life.

How can this be a good thing?

I’ve read to overcome any addiction, which sounds logical. But I think they are set to torment me for the rest of my life, no matter how hard I try to do the right thing.

Narcissistic abuse, with their foot on my neck, berating me 24/7, while somehow expecting me to perform perfectly while wearing a smile and dress….

It’s just wearing on me. I’ve aged like 20 years In the last 5.

ENOUGH about the torment / demonic energy …

GOD HAS SHOWN UP COUNTLESS TIMES.
He has been here the entire time.
I don’t know why he would allow this but I have to believe that he will get us through this.