u/Good_Ad_5563

My partner has BPD and honestly I have no idea how to deal with any of this or even really understand the disorder, so any advice helps.

We met about a year ago and things moved fast. Talking constantly, got close really quickly, and after a while they started being really affectionate, like telling me I was their favorite person all the time, they made me feel special, as if I was the most important person to them. That hit different for me because I'd never really felt that kind of thing before, like someone actually valued me just for being me and I've been neglected a lot in relationships. We ended up falling for each other and started dating.

The early days were a lot. Talking all day, spending nights together, just doing couple stuff, it felt almost overwhelming in the best way. I'd never been loved like that before so it genuinely felt like I'd found the right person. And I want to be clear, nothing about their behavior has ever felt toxic or abusive. No blowups, no threats, no crazy stuff, no raging.

But things have shifted and I miss how it used to be. For the past few months they've just been distant. It wasn't sudden, but gradual; short replies, hours without a response, and when I try to be affectionate or flirty they straight up just ignore it, which makes me feel dumb for even trying. We barely text, don't really spend time together anymore either and they almost never suggest it.

They've mentioned going through "splits" a few times, which I looked up and apparently is a BPD thing. Every time I try to bring up how I'm feeling they say it's not on purpose, but nothing actually changes.

Sometimes there's a moment where they say something sweet and I feel relieved, like "there it is, there's the person I love, there's something solid to rely on", but then it goes right back to the usual coldness. I feel like I'm being fed breadcrumbs.

I don't know if they're just losing interest and don't know how to say it, or if this is something that actually passes and they will eventually go back to how they were before. Just trying to figure out how to handle it or if there's anything I can even do.

My partner has BPD and honestly I have no idea how to deal with any of this or even really understand the disorder, so any advice helps.

We met about a year ago and things moved fast. Talking constantly, got close really quickly, and after a while they started being really affectionate, like telling me I was their favorite person all the time, they made me feel special, as if I was the most important person to them. That hit different for me because I'd never really felt that kind of thing before, like someone actually valued me just for being me and I've been neglected a lot in relationships. We ended up falling for each other and started dating.

The early days were a lot. Talking all day, spending nights together, just doing couple stuff, it felt almost overwhelming in the best way. I'd never been loved like that before so it genuinely felt like I'd found the right person. And I want to be clear, nothing about their behavior has ever felt toxic or abusive. No blowups, no threats, no crazy stuff, no raging.

But things have shifted and I miss how it used to be. For the past few months they've just been distant. It wasn't sudden, but gradual; short replies, hours without a response, and when I try to be affectionate or flirty they straight up just ignore it, which makes me feel dumb for even trying. We barely text, don't really spend time together anymore either and they almost never suggest it.

They've mentioned going through "splits" a few times, which I looked up and apparently is a BPD thing. Every time I try to bring up how I'm feeling they say it's not on purpose, but nothing actually changes.

Sometimes there's a moment where they say something sweet and I feel relieved, like "there it is, there's the person I love, there's something solid to rely on", but then it goes right back to the usual coldness. I feel like I'm being fed breadcrumbs.

I don't know if they're just losing interest and don't know how to say it, or if this is something that actually passes and they will eventually go back to how they were before. Just trying to figure out how to handle it or if there's anything I can even do.