MD vs PA — relationship strain, family planning, and a fiancée who’s being honest about her limits.
My fiancée is finishing her OT degree next year. She’s been incredibly supportive of my goals, but she’s recently come to terms with something important — she doesn’t think she can handle the amount of time I’d be absent during med school and residency. And honestly, she’s not wrong to feel that way. I respect her for being upfront about it rather than just going along with it and resenting me later.
Because she’ll be a licensed OT, financially we’ll be in a solid spot regardless of which path I take. So the money argument for MD over PA is less of a factor for us than it might be for others.
Here’s what’s really eating at me:
• PA school is shorter, I’d be working sooner, and we could actually start building a life together without a 7-10 year delay
• But I genuinely don’t know if I’d feel fulfilled long-term as a PA versus an MD
• I’m worried about making a career decision based on my relationship — but I’m also not willing to blow up a great relationship for a title
• Family planning is real. We want kids. The residency window seems brutal for that.
I’m actually meeting with my DO physician soon and plan to ask him directly about all of this, which I’m looking forward to.
And for more context I’ve worked as an MA/ scribe/ pt care coordinator for 2 years at a family practice/ urgent care and have worked w several PAs, MDs, and DOs. I have proper prereqs and scores and whatnot for both pathways. Thanks in advance for any insights and advice🙏