I can’t do this anymore
I'm 18. I spent all four years of my high school career learning about medicine, hosting blood drives and community health events, and operating and leading several medicine/health/pre-med related organizations and clubs. I basically centered my entire life around wanting to pursue medicine and become a physician. I even got into my dream university by writing about my passion for neuroscience. I was basically proficient in all subjects to the point where I took over 10 college level courses to challenge myself and was recognized by my schools dean at grad because of this
I'm now in my first year of college and math (calc) is absolutely destroying me. I got my first ever C last quarter and genuinely contemplated h//arming myself. I cried for basically two weeks straight and couldn't even tell my family because I knew they'd be extremely disappointed and confused at my utter failure. These are literally entry level math classes.
I'm in one this quarter too and im so terrified of getting a C again that I might withdraw. My brain can't conceptualize any of it for some reason, and I feel incredibly stupid.
If this is how I feel in my first few college math classes, I can't imagine taking the pre-med route and going to medical school. What do I do? I feel like it's too late to change my mind. I'm ending my first year of college soon. I guess it doesn't matter how passionate you are about something if you aren't smart enough for it