I need to vent. And am I overreacting?
I (38f) have a 15 yr old step daughter from my partner, and a bio son who is a toddler from him as well.
I am really struggling with things lately when it comes to SD. I have been in her life since she was 10.
Anyways, I just feel so ignored. She only talks to me when she needs something from me. Such as a ride somewhere or permission forms signed. Or registering her for sports. In the car she sits on her phone and gives one word answers when I ask her stuff.
She never just talks to me. When she's out of her room and talking to her dad, I ask her questions and she just ignores the question and continues to talk to her dad.
I have tried so hard. Taking her places she likes... Shopping... The lake... Helping her with homework.. etc.
It probably stems from the fact she holds a huge resentment to me from having a child with her dad(it's been noted many times by other family members how she is with her brother and me). And also that her dad and I have been trying to set more rules for her and give her consequences ...and I think she thinks it's because of me only. Me and her dad talk it through together. I also have expectations that she should be doing things around the house .. such as dishes, or unloading the dishwasher (which isn't an insane ask and I ask like once a week). She never does it anyways when I ask.
I have finally decided to just not do anything anymore. No more rides. No more registration. No more reminders of things. She's on her own till she treats me like a human. I feel it's kind of petty, but I want her to notice I've stopped doing these things so she can ask about it.
Does this seem harsh? Am I overreacting as a step parent? Am I being petty? Should I keep trying? I've been trying for years now. It was good once upon a time. But soon as the teen years hit... Everything changed (was also when her brother was born).
Give me a reality check if I need one.
I just don't know what to do.