Long story short
Hey, so I was diagnosed a year ago and I’ve been keeping it a secret from friends and family and trying to deal with it on my own.” I constantly spiral and fuss at myself in my head for days, maybe weeks at a time, for being so careless with my body. I’m 22 and in college, and people are so mean, so I decided I would just not like anyone ever again or until I at least get done with school, but I have always been in love with love. I know this boy well; I work with him, and we’ve started flirting and seeing each other outside of work. (Backstory: I would experience a Bartholin cyst and had never heard of HSV-2, but the cysts are super uncomfortable as well. I don’t even know when the symptoms started, so like a lot of people, I was completely blindsided. Also, before I found out, I hadn’t had sex with anyone in forever, so when I went to the doctor, I went for a UTI and got a call saying I have HSV-2.) Back to today the boy I’m talking to now is so sweet and I wanna tell him so bad but I’m scared people my age are cruel not saying he is but I just don’t know how I could ever trust someone with this information when I can barely look at myself. I haven’t had an outbreak in months and I’m having one right not it’s not painful but I know it’s there.The boy keeps trying to make advance and flirt and is trying to get to know me but I’m scared. The boy who I originally got this virus from didn’t even know he had it so I just feel like it’s even more my fault and I should’ve done better for myself. I’m having my first therapy session in a few days because I’m literally super fragile I cry at anything relating to love not because I love it but because I feel like it’s not a option for me anymore. I try to talk to my mom about it but she doesn’t get it and my friends keep telling me my diagnosis could be a mistake but I know it’s not. I just want my old life back .