Starting my journey and I just want to know from people who were daily cocaine users and have since gotten sober, what did you do those first few weeks off of it? What helped you the most to get through those daily urges when all your brain wants is another bag? I’m ready to let go…
(32M) I am getting comments from both people that see me often and people that haven’t seen me in a little while that “I look like I’ve lost weight”. Probably the most noticeable sign of drug use physically. I have a high metabolism and am naturally skinny but I did put on some muscle throughout the years before I stopped going to the gym. That’s all gone. I’ve dropped 10-15 lbs in 6 months, but like I said you can see it on my face almost.
This to me is the turning point I need. I cannot let myself go. I can’t turn into this person that I’m envisioning if I continue. I’ve been using daily for 6-8 months and started about a year ago. But this weight loss has me so insecure in myself. I don’t want to wear short sleeve shirts. I feel my body deteriorating. All this for some white powder. It’s hard to look in the mirror.
(32M). Got a well paying job in a dental office in Manhattan doing administrative work in January. The only other men that work there is the head doctor who owns the practice, who I have known my whole life and is a family friend, and a few techs who work on making dentures crowns and maxxiofacial appliances in the lab. Everyone else is female from administration to managers and dental assistants. I work at a front desk with two other women, and I sit right in the middle. We are an extremely high end dental office, and the vast majority of our patients are millionaire and billionaire New Yorkers. Hence we aren’t your average dental/prosthodontic office. We are expected to cater to wealthy individuals and we need to reflect that in our behavior. I am fine with that. I understand the job.
However, my administrative manager, who sits next to me at front desk, is the most passive aggressive, conniving woman I have ever met. I have worked in other offices with females before, and never have I met someone like this. Instead of teaching me the ways of the office, she’s constantly watching what I do, is over my shoulder, and the minute I make a mistake on anything, she’s there to point it out in a nasty way. She’s done it in front of patients too.
I went into this job with no preconceived notion of who anyone but the doctor was. What I’ve learned in the last 6 months is that everyone in the office can’t stand her and her attitude and knows what I’m dealing with. The issue is I have to sit next to her and be “taught by her 8 hours a day”. Nobody else does. The kicker here is that she’s been at that office for 10 years and from what I can see the head office manager and doctor see her as valuable because she knows the ins and outs of the office and the patients very well. I get that. But I came into this job wanting to start a career in this field, to learn and to have a positive energy going into every day so I can become better at what I do. Instead I’m constantly berated with what I do wrong, never acknowledged for what I do right, and am talked down to like I’m a child. I’m 32 years old with a wife and 9 month old daughter.
I wake get up at 5am every day to go to work. I get home about 6pm. I’m so defeated by the time I leave and so frustrated I can’t wait to get out. And it’s all because of this one person who I have no choice but to deal with. I’ve hesitantly talked to the head doctor and office manager, and although they understand what I’m saying, it seems like they just side with her because she’s been there so long. The office is extremely micromanaged to the point where they can watch us from cameras at all times to see what we’re doing.
I’ve finally given up, even though I really wanted this to work. I was offered and was paid a good salary, the most I’ve ever made. But at the end of the day I’m miserable. I go home exhausted and angry. At this point money means nothing to me if I mentally can’t stand the environment I work in. I’m so happy I made this decision and have been offered a job 15 minutes away from my house by car. Thank you for letting me vent!