u/Griffincrosser_07

I grew up having dysfunctional family, my family have been pretty much abusive to me growing up, not just physically but also emotionally, mentally and emotionally. They're also pretty much narcissistic, toxic, and manipulative, and its pretty rough, growing up we were taught that silence is peace and if you dare to speak up or if you stood up to yourself they would treat that as "disrespect", they also used the name of God and religion too just to manipulate you. For me, I thought it was normal but I eventually realized it was abused and it wasn't normal at all, and every time I stood up to myself I'm just questioning my sanity and myself. I don't know what I've done wrong

I've been struggling with mental health when I was 16 years old, and I'm been officially diagnosed with depression couple of months ago, just like with other people struggling with depression, I have suicidal thoughts and I attempted suicide 5 times. And I can tell you life is hard, even though I can't sometimes talk what's going on in my personal life, I sometimes wondering if its a sin? And if so are they going go hell too?