u/Grouchy-Manager4937

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life. I can’t remember ever liking myself. I’m 29 now, and am currently in a state of deep self-hatred. On paper I seem okay. I’m in graduate school, in a long-term relationship, and have a supportive family. But there’s always been a part of me that feels incompetent, dumb, ugly, all of it. When I think about living out the rest of my life, I feel exhausted from carrying the weight of these feelings and having to endure being me. I have been on a hefty dose of SSRIs for 10+ years and have recently been able to cut my dose in half (using a tapering plan with my PCP) and am supposed to start on a low dose of bupropion. I’m worried it’ll agitate my anxiety, but I hope that it will help with the constant cycle of negative thoughts I can’t seem to break on my own.

Anyone have any Memorial Day sake predictions? I really need new underwear and hope prices go lower than 6/30!!!

This is hard for me to admit, but I’ve struggled with comparing myself to others for as long as I can remember. Typically, I compare myself to my friends or someone who runs in similar circles. It’s debilitating in a way that’s hard to describe. First of all, I get stuck in this headspace where I’m like, “okay if this person is all of these things, then what good am I?” These thoughts put me in a really dark place.
Second of all, I begin to resent people, which is painful because they’re often people that I love and am friends with, and it’s really just not fair to them and not who I want to be.
I’m in therapy and try to work through these challenges, but I feel like I’m at a dead end. My therapist works with me on self-confidence and defining my own values to become the person I want to be. This is helpful, but I still get really stuck on this sometimes and spiral. Does anyone else have experience with this? TIA