u/Grouchy_Key_393

So I (25 F) and my friend, let’s name her “Emily” (25F), have known each other since we were 9 and both attended church together and summer camps. She was known as the black sheep and had many behavioral issues back then. I initially noticed she liked all types of attention and thought she was a bit of a mean girl. I told her that i didn’t like the way she treated people and she stopped her antics and then I began to grow to like her. We lost contact and around 2022 we reconnected. Since then i learned that she grew up to be a party girl and loves night life and she introduced that to me and drinking. But she also claimed she was still very religious but didn’t really go to church or practice what she preached from what i saw. I was focused and in school at that time getting my degree while operating a small business so i didn’t have any extra time to hang out with her as she mainly invited me to her birthday celebrations and things involving drinking. So because of that we only hung out every once in a while and took a couple trips together over the years. We continued this dynamic until current day. I did notice some red flags. 1. She always had new friendships start and end as quickly as they began and she would call to vent about those situations. 2. I also noticed how much she gossiped about those close to her so i made sure i never told her anything i wouldn’t want repeated. 3. She cared wayyy too much about status, she wanted to be around people who have “clout” and that she can benefit from. 4. I was always the only friend at her birthday celebrations so showing up for her during special moments was something i prioritized. She however did not do the same. I slowly distanced myself from her because she was no where to be found during my pregnancy and my gender reveal and baby shower even though i invited her and she accepted. She made excuses as to why she couldn’t come and overall was disappointed in her lack of support. We talked about that and moved forward. The last red flag i noticed was the copying she did. I had a brand new 2024 Malibu and she got the same exact car, i graduated college with two degrees in a specific healthcare role and she got a certificate in healthcare, i started working out and documenting my journey she did as well. It didn’t bother me as these aren’t bad things that she was adapting. So to get to the story, I have another friend that I’ve been consistently connected to for the past 10 years and is someone i would consider my bestest friend in this whole world. Let’s call him James (25 M). He has always been supportive and lent a hand whenever at my need and was also supportive and my only active friend throughout my pregnancy with my current partner. Emily ended up moving to the same city as James and James thought it would be a great idea to begin a friendship with her. I set it up for them both to get into contact and they hit it off. James is also a party kind of guy so i figured him and his boyfriend John would enjoy her company. They began to hang everyday and would frequently go out drinking together. We made group chats and were on FaceTime calls together and everything was going great. My husband and i had a pregnancy scare and i did mention it while on FaceTime with the group and i stated how i county have another baby right now as i am 7 months postpartum at this point and that if i did get pregnant i would probably terminate it because mentally i couldn’t handle it. She got almost irate and stated how i could handle a 3rd child and that termination was off of the table and she wouldn’t talk to me and it’s murder. ( Sh has had an abortion a few years ago so i assumed she was supportive).I explained my piece about needing to be in the right mental space to maintain a pregnancy and my currently livelihood. James and John were supportive to the idea per usual and reminded me to do what’s best for my family. A few days passed and things calmed and we were on fr again and she stated she was supportive of the idea of termination after speaking to John. She hung up abruptly and I asked John what she meant by that. He stated that while out for drinks with her and James she began to ask him questions about my partner that made him uncomfortable such as “ Do they live together, where did he live before we lived together, does he pay all my bills” and so on. Since John wouldn’t know the answer he told her that he was unsure of how much he made but that he’s self sustaining as when we met he had his own place, car, job, motorcycle and was unsure where he lived prior. She made comments such as “ I could never” and “uhn uhn”. He said when he defended him she tried to look for an issue or something to not like. I made note of her behavior. She then made another comment again while they were drunk and asked if he was “slow” or not. I called her directly and she stated “ i know why your calling and your friends are messy” and she said she asked if he was slow because he talks slow. I told her him talking slow does not equate to mental incapacity and she had nothing else to say. Not even an apology. Because of that when she asked to spend a night at my house whom i share with my partner i told her no. Because of James and John telling me what she said they have fallen out. She told me about their fall out first and tried to convince me that because of my degrees and how much money i make i shouldn’t be their friend and that me and her are better than them. I corrected her and let her know that i didn’t value my friendships off of materialism or status. James and John feels like she is a competitive kind of friend and is envious to where she can’t maintain friendships and that she takes on other’s personality. I agreed 100% with them. They also feel as if she makes indirect posts about them online and i have also felt the same way. After having kids she began to share the mom hate stuff on her pages which she never has done before despite her telling me how much she wants to be a mother and have a family. She dates men in jail and men that sells drugs with no real job or income. I’m just not sure what’s going on with her but i just needed to distance myself and blocked her on everything because she’s on social media bad talking my friends. I have yet to have a conversation with her because she cannot accept accountability and is just saying my friends are lying on her and i know they’re telling me the truth. So am I wrong for blocking her without talking to her first?

So I (25 F) and my friend, let’s name her “Emily” (25F), have known each other since we were 9 and both attended church together and summer camps. She was known as the black sheep and had many behavioral issues back then. I initially noticed she liked all types of attention and thought she was a bit of a mean girl. I told her that i didn’t like the way she treated people and she stopped her antics and then I began to grow to like her. We lost contact and around 2022 we reconnected. Since then i learned that she grew up to be a party girl and loves night life and she introduced that to me and drinking. But she also claimed she was still very religious but didn’t really go to church or practice what she preached from what i saw. I was focused and in school at that time getting my degree while operating a small business so i didn’t have any extra time to hang out with her as she mainly invited me to her birthday celebrations and things involving drinking. So because of that we only hung out every once in a while and took a couple trips together over the years. We continued this dynamic until current day. I did notice some red flags. 1. She always had new friendships start and end as quickly as they began and she would call to vent about those situations. 2. I also noticed how much she gossiped about those close to her so i made sure i never told her anything i wouldn’t want repeated. 3. She cared wayyy too much about status, she wanted to be around people who have “clout” and that she can benefit from. 4. I was always the only friend at her birthday celebrations so showing up for her during special moments was something i prioritized. She however did not do the same. I slowly distanced myself from her because she was no where to be found during my pregnancy and my gender reveal and baby shower even though i invited her and she accepted. She made excuses as to why she couldn’t come and overall was disappointed in her lack of support. We talked about that and moved forward. The last red flag i noticed was the copying she did. I had a brand new 2024 Malibu and she got the same exact car, i graduated college with two degrees in a specific healthcare role and she got a certificate in healthcare, i started working out and documenting my journey she did as well. It didn’t bother me as these aren’t bad things that she was adapting. So to get to the story, I have another friend that I’ve been consistently connected to for the past 10 years and is someone i would consider my bestest friend in this whole world. Let’s call him James (25 M). He has always been supportive and lent a hand whenever at my need and was also supportive and my only active friend throughout my pregnancy with my current partner. Emily ended up moving to the same city as James and James thought it would be a great idea to begin a friendship with her. I set it up for them both to get into contact and they hit it off. James is also a party kind of guy so i figured him and his boyfriend John would enjoy her company. They began to hang everyday and would frequently go out drinking together. We made group chats and were on FaceTime calls together and everything was going great. My husband and i had a pregnancy scare and i did mention it while on FaceTime with the group and i stated how i county have another baby right now as i am 7 months postpartum at this point and that if i did get pregnant i would probably terminate it because mentally i couldn’t handle it. She got almost irate and stated how i could handle a 3rd child and that termination was off of the table and she wouldn’t talk to me and it’s murder. ( Sh has had an abortion a few years ago so i assumed she was supportive).I explained my piece about needing to be in the right mental space to maintain a pregnancy and my currently livelihood. James and John were supportive to the idea per usual and reminded me to do what’s best for my family. A few days passed and things calmed and we were on fr again and she stated she was supportive of the idea of termination after speaking to John. She hung up abruptly and I asked John what she meant by that. He stated that while out for drinks with her and James she began to ask him questions about my partner that made him uncomfortable such as “ Do they live together, where did he live before we lived together, does he pay all my bills” and so on. Since John wouldn’t know the answer he told her that he was unsure of how much he made but that he’s self sustaining as when we met he had his own place, car, job, motorcycle and was unsure where he lived prior. She made comments such as “ I could never” and “uhn uhn”. He said when he defended him she tried to look for an issue or something to not like. I made note of her behavior. She then made another comment again while they were drunk and asked if he was “slow” or not. I called her directly and she stated “ i know why your calling and your friends are messy” and she said she asked if he was slow because he talks slow. I told her him talking slow does not equate to mental incapacity and she had nothing else to say. Not even an apology. Because of that when she asked to spend a night at my house whom i share with my partner i told her no. Because of James and John telling me what she said they have fallen out. She told me about their fall out first and tried to convince me that because of my degrees and how much money i make i shouldn’t be their friend and that me and her are better than them. I corrected her and let her know that i didn’t value my friendships off of materialism or status. James and John feels like she is a competitive kind of friend and is envious to where she can’t maintain friendships and that she takes on other’s personality. I agreed 100% with them. They also feel as if she makes indirect posts about them online and i have also felt the same way. After having kids she began to share the mom hate stuff on her pages which she never has done before despite her telling me how much she wants to be a mother and have a family. She dates men in jail and men that sells drugs with no real job or income. I’m just not sure what’s going on with her but i just needed to distance myself and blocked her on everything because she’s on social media bad talking my friends. I have yet to have a conversation with her because she cannot accept accountability and is just saying my friends are lying on her and i know they’re telling me the truth. So am I wrong for blocking her without talking to her first?