Increasing anxiety about death
Hello! I'm feeling a little worried that my anxiety is slowly progressing and would love some advice on how to deal with it ect.
Since the middle of last year, I've been thinking more about death (At the time, I was doing an art project on the topic), and I really started to think about my own death. I'm an atheist and believe once you are dead, that is it. I hate this thought. It makes me sooooooo uncomfortable and so anxious and fearful. I'm so worried about dying and anxious about the feeling of knowing you're going to die and being dead. Whilst I wouldn't say this is really affecting much daily, and it's not really yet affecting the choices I make day to day, I have felt it get worse. It's at the point now that if I consume any media or anything that mentions death in any capacity, I feel the pit in my stomach grow. I have to stop watching things that are too related to these topics, e.g., Grey's Anatomy.
I also used to listen to a fair amount of true crime, which Ive had to stop completely. I am often thinking about the worst possible things that could happen in random situations, to me or a loved one, and true crime makes this even worse.
For example, I was in a dance class, and some people were just shouting (nothing angry, just being rowdy) downstairs, and immediately I thought, what if they come in and do something bad or have a gun (I'm living in Germany, so this is super unlikely). Or when I am on the train thinking what if someone will push me into a moving train ect. I also have this thought about other people. The other day, my boyfriend sent me a photo with little context of this random place he was at, and immediately, I thought someone had killed him and sent me this to tell me where he was. like what the fuck who thinks like that?????
I've noticed this thinking also makes things I used to do all the time more stressful, e.g., taking flights, which I have never had a problem with.
Again, I wouldn't say this is greatly affecting me day to day, but I feel it, and I am worried it will get worse, and I'm not sure what to do hahahah.
Any advice or conformation im not crazy would be great!