u/GrowthPerfect2901

I’ve spent the last year doing deep therapeutic work with four MDMA sessions and several mushroom journeys to work through anxiety, hypervigilance, and developmental trauma.

A few days ago I did my first hippie flip with 120mg MDMA and 1g Penis Envy Tea no redose.

The session itself was intense. There was a lot of somatic release, growling, shouting, crying, yawning, and what felt like years of suppressed fight energy finally coming out.

The biggest realization was that my entire nervous system seemed to be organized around one core belief:

“The world is dangerous and it’s coming to get me.” Not as a thought. As a lived reality.

I’m now five days out and the most noticeable change isn’t euphoria or confidence. It’s the absence of vigilance.

I feel more capacity. I can sit still. I can breathe. Sometimes I catch myself looking around and feeling peaceful, and I’m genuinely surprised by it.

It’s as if I’ve been carrying an invisible weight my entire life and suddenly put it down.

I don’t know how much of this is afterglow and how much will become permanent. Time will tell. But this feels different from my previous experiences. It feels less like a mood change and more like a nervous system change.

For the first time in a very long time, I don’t feel like I’m living in survival mode.

I’m curious if anyone else has experienced a major reduction in hypervigilance after a hippie flip or MDMA therapy, and how much of it remained once the afterglow faded.

I’ve been doing a fair bit of IFS on my own and it’s actually been pretty helpful. Lately I’ve been wondering about combining it with low dose ketamine in a solo, self-guided way, but I’m having a hard time finding grounded info that isn’t either super clinical or kind of reckless.

I’m not trying to blast off or fully dissociate. I’m more curious if a low dose could help me stay present but soften things enough to access parts more easily, especially protectors that don’t usually let me get close.

Does anyone know of solid resources on this, like books, podcasts, or therapists who talk about it in a real, practical way? Also trying to understand what “low dose” actually means in this context if the goal is to stay aware and able to engage with the work.

If you’ve tried something like this on your own, I’d really like to hear how it went. What actually helped and what didn’t. And honestly, what should I be careful about so I don’t end up making things worse.

Appreciate any insight.

I’ve been doing a fair bit of IFS on my own and it’s actually been pretty helpful. Lately I’ve been wondering about combining it with low dose ketamine in a solo, self-guided way, but I’m having a hard time finding grounded info that isn’t either super clinical or kind of reckless.

I’m not trying to blast off or fully dissociate. I’m more curious if a low dose could help me stay present but soften things enough to access parts more easily, especially protectors that don’t usually let me get close.

Does anyone know of solid resources on this, like books, podcasts, or therapists who talk about it in a real, practical way? Also trying to understand what “low dose” actually means in this context if the goal is to stay aware and able to engage with the work.

If you’ve tried something like this on your own, I’d really like to hear how it went. What actually helped and what didn’t. And honestly, what should I be careful about so I don’t end up making things worse.

Appreciate any insight.