Has anyone needed multiple psilocybin treatments to find relief from anxiety and depression? I’ve read all these studies and research that say a single dose of psilocybin can lead to rapid and sustained reductions in depression and anxiety. But that wasn’t necessarily the case for me… story below

Story:

I’m diagnosed with Chronic PTSD, OCD, anxiety and depression. With the help of my therapist, I did a Psilocybin assisted therapy session 3 weeks ago. For the most part, The journey itself was beautiful and profound - I had so much clarity, and for the first time understood the exact root of my problems. My thoughts were so clear and I was in tune with my feelings and emotions. I felt love, inner-peace and gratitude - for the first time in my life.

There was also some really dark parts - I saw traumatic memories from my childhood that I had repressed and didn’t know happened. So, at 38, for the the first time in my life, I saw a very traumatic experience I endured as a child. Again, prior to the journey, I had no idea this even happened (I don’t remember the majority of my childhood). As difficult as this was, I do feel it is important in my healing journey as a lot of things make more sense now. However, For the week after the session, I was pretty messed up about what I saw. I wouldn’t say it re-traumatized me, as that’s a little extreme, but it definitely messed me up mentally and emotionally. Week 2 was a little better, but I still felt pretty unstable at times.

It’s been 3 weeks now, and I’ve started to settle back in and come to peace with things. I’m doing all the integration work with my therapist, but my anxiety and depression doesn’t seem to be any better than it was before the journey. In fact, at times, it feels worse. I understand this is probably normal when old trauma surfaces, but I’m wondering if some people needed multiple sessions to find relief from their anxiety and depression?

Or maybe I had unrealistic expectations? Admittedly, I think I went into it thinking I’d be far less depressed and anxious afterwards, but that’s not the case. I did receive a ton of valuable information - It’s almost like the medicine said “here’s why you struggle with trauma, depression anxiety, etc. and here’s how it feels to live on the other side - free. Now go do the work” but the medicine itself didn’t relieve the symptoms, if that makes sense.

I’m literally copying and pasting what I wrote in my trip journal. First time making a post like this, so open to feedback. I’ll write a little summary/introspect at the end. Previous I did a trip with 2.5g of yeti. For comparison, in that 2.5g yeti trip all I wrote in my journal was "You are hurt, there is nothing wrong with you".

📋 Trip report

Dosage  
2.53g of White Rabbit

Setting
Studio apartment with two cats. 

Mindset and intention
Sat down cross legs and said this out loud:
“Mushrooms, give me the experience that you think I need today. I am here to receive your knowledge and your wisdom”

Did the serenity prayer: 
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
They will be done, not mine.
Amen.
Namaste.”

8:20am 
*took the medicine*

9:30
Why is it that something that hurts us also gives us so much pleasure?

Why do I want to date a “slut” so bad? Not just sleep with her, but date and love her… and why does it make me sad now? 

I feel like it’s been “9:30” for 30 minutes… time is a construct

9:33 (this is what the microwave is “saying”)

I decide to take an additional 1.03g of white rabbit, I am ready, why am I afraid?

I must NOT fear. FEAR is the MIND KILLER.

Nothing to fear but fear itself. 

I want to go deeper 

Having a lot of conversations with myself. ALmost wanted to listen to music, but instead I am going to lie back down with my blindfold.

The concept of “horny”. What actually does it mean to be horny?

9:46 (microwave time)
maybe looking at the time is affecting my trip, going to cover up the time with some tape. 

Mindfulness can be stressful

The words mindful and stressful share the last 3 letters. mindful stressful. 

It’s 10am (removed the tape from the microwave clocked and looked at it)
1 hour and 40 minutes since I started the trip
Mushrooms are weak? Or maybe the strain isn’t affecting me as much?
I am visually tripping but not feeling super introspective

They are paying me for all the time and knowledge I’ve spent building a relationship for the mushroom

When you tell me no, it means that you trust me

I should put truck nuts on my nuts

The truth will set you free
Reality lives in your head!!!!!

Why does it feel “wrong” to want to have sex with my friend?

The laughing Buddah 

People get anxious because they can’t meditate

We have to figure out everything (where we come from, where we are going) and that causes us pain. We DON’T have to try to figure everything out, just be here, be here now.

My golden path is to teach people not to take life so seriously

I have to be careful if I have sex with someone on mushrooms, I need to be intentional 

Sex does not equal love

It can be, but it isn’t by default and there is nothing wrong with pleasure

IDK know what time it is, leaving the apartment now, it’s sunny outside

Maybe I am too attached to ego death. But I should still do it because it will give me perspective and I will be better prepared to guide someone through a potential ego death trip.

During this whole trip, mostly no pain in my arm

I am judging people for being judgy, and that in itself is judgy

DUNE - the quote about atrocities
(this wasn’t in my trip journal (but the above is referring to the quote below)
“Atrocity is recognized as such by victim and perpetrator alike, by all who learn about it at whatever remove. Atrocity has no excuses, no mitigating argument. Atrocity never balances or rectifies the past. Atrocity merely arms the future for more atrocity. It is self-perpetuating upon itself — a barbarous form of incest. Whoever commits atrocity also commits those future atrocities thus bred.”

11am
Going to go outside, I’m not taking my trip journal 

Summery/introspective thoughts
So it’s 4:15pm now and the trip is over. I ended up walking outside and it was fun. Sunny day, smoked some weed along the way, dipped my fit in water and it felt really good. The trip itself wasn’t as deep as my other trips with 2.0g and 2.5g of yeti. I wonder if this strain of white rabbit was weak? I’m also thinking, maybe I don’t have any additional insights to gain on this dosage? I wish I would have stuck with the yeti strain. I started with 2.5g because the last 2.5g trip felt pretty strong, then I took an additional 1g but tbh I didn't feel much of a change. I think next time I will jump to 3.0 off the back and try to do it with yeti. 

This trip/strain was still nice, much more mellow.

Any thoughts on what I wrote? Not sure where the mushrooms were taking me, a lot of the things I wrote are relevant to things going on in my life right now.

See you, space cowboy 
👁️🚀👁️

Wanted to share this here instead of the regular psychedelic pages, since it feels less like a "drugs fixed me" chronicle and more of an integration with my actual time in therapy.

Without saying too much, I've had a serious problem with loneliness my entire life. I'd guess people here can imagine the "Fearful Avoidant" coping mechanisms so I won't bother with the intro. I've been dragging myself through hell, at any rate.

I've been in therapy for close to a year. It's challenged my self perception while validating the ways that I've felt forgotten by people close to me. I'm working on opening myself up to the world now that I've been feeling like I have the space for it. Though the "nobody cares about me" instinct has been alive and well until recently, making that difficult.

I had a DMT vape. First was a fun test, second time I unpacked and cried. The third round, a couple weeks later, one pull at a time, sinking into my favorite music videos. I do one at a time and find the doses pile up when I take another as the last one starts to wane, but it still wasn't a heavy session. I could close my eyes and go to what I think was "hyperspace", but it wasn't a breakthrough and I was in full control in reality.

I don't know that I "saw" an entity, more felt the presence of what I decided was a snake. It was like looking across a field at each other. No words spoken, just impressions in the air. I felt it inviting me to exhale, I felt a bit of playful defiance, took it as a challenge and held my breath as we "stared" at each other in outright silence. We went back and forth, I thought I'd let it go, then I held myself together, like a tense round of tug-of-war. I lost the standoff, not that I could've possibly won, and we both just turned with a smile and went home.

The next day, it was like in those few quiet minutes, my brain just rewrote itself without any intention from me. I'm just immediately different. My coping tools feel pointless:

- Nicotine has almost no hold on me. I've been leaving it in the car for 13 hour shifts, feeling fine. Normally I'd be tearing through drawers after 40 minutes without it.

- I stopped watching porn, and resisting the habit feels no different than reminding myself to brush my teeth.

- I have moments of irritation over past mistreatment, but I'm suddenly able to acknowledge it and let it wash over me in a couple minutes, rather than spiral over the course of 1-3 hours.

- If I am finding myself pre-scripting a conversation, I'm not trying to corner them into understanding and acknowledging me. I'm trying to find the most short and sweet way to tell them that it's all okay, because I believe it.

My need to be seen and understood has been replaced with a desire to express myself in other creative efforts. My emptiness feels like neutral "space" for new connections. My anger toward others who I've felt have forgotten me is now indifference, and I'm almost eager to just gently let them go and find my own place. My goals remain, but they're not laced with spite, they're just things I like engaging with and want to invest in. My tinnitus remains.

I've been waiting to descend back into old habits for the last week, but it's just been so naturally easy to carry on with it that I feel like it'll stick. I've been unable to eat because of the stress for at least 2 years and I practically emptied the kitchen yesterday. It's like I met my nervous system, shook hands, and we're suddenly on the same side.

I was expecting that I'd have to hit the vape as hard as I could manage and have some DMT spirit rip my ego out through my eyes, just to come back with some kind of direction for my continued suffering, but a few minutes of silent awareness and all the bricks I've been laying seem to have just gently slid into place. My mind is warm and quiet, and I still kind of can't believe it.

Vielleicht kann mir jemand helfen. Habe vor 10 Monaten LSd genommen, danach war ich Emotional extrem offen. Nach einem Streit mit meinem Ex hat mir, das was er gesagt hat, den Boden unter den Füßen weggezogen. Das war für mich ungewöhnlich stark. Danach hatte ich viele Erlebnisse die ich Emotional viel zu stark wargenommen habe. Meine innere Unruhe ist so stark geworden das ich Zwergfell schmerzen und schlecht Atmen kann. Es ist ein so masiv Belastender Zustand das uch nicht mehr arbeiten kann. Ich habe keine Stresstoleranz mehr. Extrem Ängstlich und schreckhaft.

Ich habe canabis und auch mdma danach ausprobiert was es meider nicht besser gemacht hat. Nach Mdma hab ich mich stark von der Welt entfremdet gefühlt.

Ich trinke kein Koffein, schlafe genug und Esse vernünftig, Hypnose, Mirtazipin, Quetiapin, Perazin, pmr, Atem übungen. Ich habe vieles ausprobiert. Nichts verändert diesen Fight or Flight Modus. Ich weiß nicht mehr weiter. Nehme aktuell Guanfacin aber das bringt auch nichts. Ignorieren habe ich auch versucht aber meine Emotionen sind so fragil das ich ja nichtmal arbeiten kann und alles mich extrem Stresst.

I’ve tried to self administer it once or twice with a similar dose to the 25mg that is used (of course this isn’t entirely possible to the exact number) and haven’t had any success. I’m heavily considering making a trip to one of the states where it’s legal and was curious if anyone has any insight into what that would look like process wise, success stories, etc etc. anything would be greatly appreciated really

Hello guys, there is somebody from Europe here that participate in a psychodelic assisted therapy in a clinic? If yes could you tell me what sustance and where please? Thanks.

For now, the only thing i know is ketamine therapy in Barcelona, Spain.

What are the best substance to assist psychotherapy with increased awareness, letting go of resistance and opening the heart?

I've tried psilocybin + cacao.

Hey everyone! My first time positing in this community,

I’ve been diagnosed with Type II since March 2021,

Just hoping I could get some answers,

I’m an extremely creative person, and marijuana is legal in my place of residence and I quite enjoy partaking and find it often helps my symptoms,

Some friends have recently invited me to do magic mushrooms with them in what would be a safe and comfortable environment.

I’m really interested in what it may unlock for me as I’m just about to step out into a new phase of me life,

I’m just wondering if anyone has any resources or information regarding mushroom use and bipolar disorder, anything I should be aware of, or if I should just completely avoid it,

Happy to answer any questions!

Thanks in advance!

Over the last few months, I have been experimenting with psychedelics, with small to normal macro doses. With each trip, there seems to be a massive tapping and release of energy for myself, and with whatever integration I'm able to do, I seem to be working my way towards becoming healthier, stronger, and more active.

The energy scares me a little, because not only is it compelling, but it is a very strong drive. I admit I may have some ADHD traits, particularly impulsivity and hyperactivity, and I'm trying to understand from y'all's experiences, if y'all felt somethings similar, and how you channel this energy.

Sexual energy is one aspect of this drive. I'm trying to channel this energy by expanding on creative efforts, getting as much exercise and movement as I can, learning to breathe, going to therapy and get better at feeling my emotions, etc. I want to start running, and start practicing some yoga too. Any other suggestions? Much appreciated, and much love!

I grew up catholic. From the age of 18 to 38 I had a huge problem with porn compulsion/addiction (along with video games). In retrospect (perspective I learned from the mushrooms), I was using it as a way to sooth myself and to help me cope with life.

Well most recently I'm in a situation where I would normally plop on the computer and use porn/masturbation as a means to escape.

Context

I've been living with a friend in their studio apartment since the beginning of the year. And prior to my 1st therapeutic mushroom trips, anytime my roommate would leave for a vacation, and I had the whole studio to myself, I would go on these multi-hour long binges of porn/masturbating. I would start around 8pm and by the time I realized it's 5am in the morning. I would feel physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausted.

And I am in that situation again. Yesterday I dropped my roommate off at the airport, then I went home. I almost started the "process". First I was sexting a girl I've been seeing on and off (she's in another state so it makes in person physical contact difficult). Next I started browsing pornography.

And I don't know what caused me to feel this way, but the porn was not enticing me as usual, I didn't get the "high" I would usually get from watching the videos. Also the idea of losing sleep and feeling like shit the next day didn't appeal to me. Then I made the decision to tell my sexting partner, that I don't want to sext anymore because I have a bad habit of staying up on the computer and overdoing it. She accepted that and wished me good night. I think she was even impressed that I was mature enough to have this type of conversation with her.

I ended up falling asleep and waking up rested, and it was wonderful.

Now today, on Thursday, I have another feeling. I feel lonely. When my roommate is here, I always have someone to talk to, someone to chat to, but now that they're gone, I don't have anyone.

Prior to my therapeutic mushroom trip, I wouldn't have recognized this, I would have just filled the void with porn/masturbation. But because I can recognize my feelings and what's going on, I can tell myself I don't have to react to it. So today, when I had the feeling of "escaping" I wrote this down on a note pad:

"I'm recognizing that I might be horny or I might not be, I'm also recognizing that I am alone in this room, and that I might be feeling lonesome. And that in the past when I felt this way I would go straight to porn/masturbating, but I don't have to. I'm acknowledging these feelings, and it's okay to have these feelings, I will also make plans to go out and socialize today".

After I wrote that, I felt a lot better, called a friend, end up reading for about 2 hours, and now have plans to go out later to dance and socialize.

I just started re-reading How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan. And I think what is happening is that the mushroom trips are allowing me to rewire my brain, create new paths via neurorplacicitity. Before I would have a feeling and go straight to porn. But now I can observe myself, and I'm sitting in this room training my brain that it's okay to sit alone, there is nothing wrong with it, I do not need to hid this feeling with porn. I can focus on something better like, reading, writing (this post), using that energy I would normally use on pornography to do something beneficial.

Hope this post isn't too long! The mushrooms have been helping me so much in understanding myself.

P.S. On this note, I've read a bit about sexual transmutation. Something along the lines of holding off on sex/orgasm so you can use that energy for creative, productive, or spiritual goals. Does anyone have any experience with this and can point me in the right direction? I'm a big reader, so if you have any books on this subject please let me know.

Hey so i have death anxiety, this can range from not being bad at all and barely in mind, to an all consuming aspect. It mainly stems with the fact that i can’t imagine me not existing. But that’s besides the point i wanted to ask if taking psychedelics have helped you with death anxiety and why it specifically helped?

Hey guys I wonder if anyone in this group knows anyone who has gone down the TGA approved path of getting Pyschedlic Assisted Therapy at the Empax centre in Perth, Western Australia (or similar in other states) for PTSD? Its a journey im looking at embarking on (literally haha) and I would love to hear other people's journeys if anyone knows anyone? Cheers me dears! 🥰 feel free to PM me

This isn’t really a personal issue for me. I live simply, have no dependents, and donate a significant amount of my time. But I work closely with licensed psilocybin facilitators who do have families, mortgages, medical bills, and other real obligations.

I’m increasingly concerned by how casually people describe $900–$1,500 facilitated journeys as exploitative.

A facilitator may give one person 8–12+ hours of sustained attention through panic, trauma, vomiting, disorientation, emotional collapse, or physical safety concerns, sometimes staying hours beyond the expected ending.

Many also bring years or decades of experience in therapy, social work, addiction treatment, medicine, somatic work, hospice, crisis support, or psychedelic care.

A wedding photographer, tattoo artist, or birth doula may charge $1,500+ for a full day of skilled, focused work. We don’t dismiss their value because a friend could technically do some version of it for free.

Why should psychedelic facilitation be valued differently?

There’s an important distinction between:

“I can’t afford this.”

and

“This work isn’t worth that.”

Access is a real problem. I strongly support scholarships, nonprofit funding, donor-supported care, and better systems for subsidizing services.

But access can’t sustainably depend on underpaying the people doing the intensive human labor.

Putting the feelers out for this: Would you be interested in attending an online peer support integration circle organized through the subreddit?

There would be general topics for conversation, but we would not necessarily stick to them if something else comes up.

This would be free to attend, with no pressure to participate or identify ourselves in any way.

Please share thoughts and/or concerns and/or suggestions in the comments as well.

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I traveled to have a journey at a licensed clinic. My facilitator has been great, we did set and setting meetings before, and I had an integration meeting with him, books and resources, but I am still struggling after the experience. I have treatment resistant childhood cPTSD and I spent a lot of my journey in a space that was dark and alone fighting myself to accept and to let go, because I did nothing wrong. My wife has told me my behavior has been different since the journey in a good way, but I think my cPTSD is gaslighting me that nothing is different. I already do a lot of the suggested integration practices, but what I think I would really like is to talk to other folks about it. I have not found folks to share with. Anyone have similar experiences or advice?

Hi friends, first I want to thank you all for the amazing feedback on all my post so far. I'm learning from all you all so much! Today I bring a interesting subject.

Chronic Pain

I've had chronic pain on my right hand/arm for 10+ years. I've gotten every test done I could and it always comes back negative (there is nothing physically wrong with my hand). I brought this up with a friend who had chronic pain on her wrist and she essentially told me that she got rid of her chronic pain by thinking her way out of it. She recommended the book Unlearn Your Pain by Howard Schubiner. I just started reading the book, but essentially Schubiner is stated that pain could "be in your head" due to your nervous system firing pain signals even when there is no physical pain present.

With that said, being how powerful psychedelic therapy has been able to help my ADHD and anxiety, has anyone had any experience using psychedelic therapy for chronic pain?

Are LSD and Psylocibin receptors the same? How to combine them?

This is a very practical question: can you drop lsd in the late morning and then mushrooms in the afternoons and get the combination effect ? Of would the LSD saturate the receptors and prevent the mushrooms to give their full effect?

tw/ csa

about a year ago i took a macro dose (5g) and connected with a young part that holds the trauma of my csa. (i do ifs with a therapist).

during this connection, in between sobs, i remember thinking “i just need to cry for months before i can even think about if ill ever be okay” i remember it word for word because it still haunts me to this day.

i started microdosing (0.5g) for my PMDD symptoms last week, and quickly realized i was tapping into that csa part. the OG plan was to microdose monday-friday with weekends off.

but friday was a rough day at work. i was crying on my lunch break, on the bus, sobbing uncontrollably once i was able to get to my spot in the forest near my home.

and it felt so good. it hurt, of course. it was so uncomfortable. but i can feel in my entire system that we need to release this. it’s making my anxiety worse, my depression, my OCD, my chronic illnesses.

this trauma is slowly killing me. and my firefighters and managers and protectors all agree we need to david and goliath this shit and get it out. let it go. so we can start living the life we deserve.

saturday i took 2g because i wanted to keep the grieving going. i realized this experience was doing more for me than microdosing during the week.

so now i want to switch. monday-thursday stay sober. friday microdose to prime myself, then saturday take like 2g and just let myself fall apart. 5g feels like too much. 2g was the sweet spot because i want to feel but i don’t want visuals.

my only concern is the frequency and the potential of developing HPPD.

i know it’s important to integrate. but, as my part told me, she needs to just cry and cry and cry. so there isn’t that much to integrate right now? it feels like she just needs to use my body to grieve.

i’ve spent almost ten years in therapy. i feel like i can handle months of wading in the grief pool. from calm waters on my sober days to tsunamis over the weekend. i have friends who can come over and be with me to help cheer me up with shows and video games when i do need some outer love in my life. my job is low stress and a steady routine. my therapist is dependable and ive made insanely good progress with her. i just feel in my soul that its time. it’s finally time.

i just cannot grieve the way this csa part needs without shrooms. i can’t tap into that neural pathway or whatever is going on biologically without them.

any insight is welcome