u/immrw24

i’m extremely new to LOO stuff, but I’ve sorta been practicing it unknowingly for a few years.

I’m very in tune with the energies around me. As a result, when interacting with people, I feel hyper aware about the compassion i’m giving and when my ego wants to jump in. When I disagree with people, I’m very careful to phrase words and sentences in ways that minimize distress and push progress forward. I don’t call people names. I don’t make unnecessary rude comments. I stay rooted in love and don’t focus on who is “right” or who “wins” the argument. I care about objective truth.

I do not judge people for their mistakes, and I am happily willing to befriend people who are working on bettering themselves. That’s all I care about. Do you wish to learn and grow? Are you serious about your personal journey? That’s what I care about.

As a result of this hyper awareness, I feel the judgement and negativity from those around me. Comments from my friends that judge people physically hurt. Even if the comment is minor (ugh she’s so annoying I hate her voice. so screechy). This energy affects me heavily and I myself deal with negative thoughts more frequently when around this. It’s like I need to “cleanse” myself to return to this state i’ve worked so hard to embody.

I don’t know how to move forward. Currently there are only 2 people in my life who i feel match where I am at.

I feel very lonely and isolated. It feels like 99% of people are living in these negative emotions- their first instinct is judgment and criticism instead of empathy and curiosity. How do you live amongst the rest of humans? How do you fulfill social needs?

i’ve suddenly found myself shut out from the spirit world. i can usually exchange energy with trees, but recently it’s felt like their backs are turned to me. my tarot readings are just not making sense and inaccurate. my guides who are usually really quiet and hands off anyway feel completely gone. my intuition is off, im not getting insights the way i used to. my dreams don’t have that feeling, i know these dreams are all just my unconscious mind and no longer connection with entities.

everything spiritual just feels like radio static. like i’m being ignored. i’m trying to journal through it and meditate. feel my feelings and embrace them. accept hard truths that feel uncomfortable. choose myself and what’s best for me over flashy things.

i don’t know why this is happening. i’m not asking for a reading or anything, i just don’t understand what i could have done wrong.

it’s been years since I dated. I kinda gave up because every person i’ve been with left me because I couldn’t have sex.

started seeing someone new, and they brought up being exclusive and dating officially. I sat them down and explained how physical intimacy is very difficult for me. Yes I’m in therapy, but I’m not sure when I’ll ever be able to have sex without flashing back and crying. they said they needed some time to think.

i hate that sex was ruined for me before i ever got to experience it with someone i love. i hate that im stuck in this perpetual limbo and years of therapy hasn’t done shit. EMDR just causes me to dissociate. IFS sorta helps with self regulation.

kinda kicking myself for even getting my hopes up ngl.