r/KetamineTherapy

Hello everyone!

Our department is currently running a research survey on early life trauma and psychedelics.

Upon completion participants will be entered into a £50 raffle!

Please follow the link: 🍄‍🟫✨Psychedelic Experiences and Early-life Adversity

Im Tony, i will be your guide here. I was fortunate enough to talk to a great psychologist and have learned quite a bit about human behavior. Some of this will seem quite obvious but there is a reason for everything I tell u. Feel free to ask a question if u disagree with anything i say. I paid good money to see the best psychologist in my city so if u hear something better u better let me know. My guys name was Keith McFarlane PhD. His resume is extensive and impressive. Hes dead now but he was honestly so into this stuff..that if he is here in spirit it would not surprise me. https://ottawacitizen.remembering.ca/obituary/keith-mcfarlane-1078282913

" He was provincial consultant for the Critical Incident Stress Management Program; Crisis Program Evaluator for the Program Effectiveness, Statistics and Applied Research Unit; Eastern Region Team Leader for the Critical Incident Stress Program; Associate Trainer at the Ontario Correctional Services College; Crisis Negotiator and Associate Trainer for the Crisis Negotiation Program; Internship and Practicum Coordinator for Psychology at the Ottawa Correctional Detention Centre; and Chairman of the Working Group on Change for the Department of Psychology at the Rideau Correctional and Treatment Centre where he also served as Quality Assurance Coordinator. He was Clinical Adjunct Professor at the School of Psychology at the University of Ottawa from 1999 to 2013 and within his work for the Ministry of the Solicitor General Ontario, he trained and mentored many doctoral students in psychology".

Preface - What is this? What is cbt?

What is cbt?..otherwise known as cognitive behavioral therapy. I call it "thinking wat ur doing" therapy. Cognitive means thinking and behavior means doing. CBT has proven itself to be the best mechanism we know for reducing recidivism among inmates. Anyone with a desire to change a behavior they are doing can benefit from this. Calling it "thinking what ur doing " is my own expression. Technically, CBT involves understanding that all behaviors are results of thoughts. If u find urself reaching for a glass of water ..ur likely thinking "im thirsty". Did u punch someone or lash out verbally at someone again or it can be anything. Any behavior u want u change. Cutting , obsessive compulsive behaviors..ect. Using "lashing out" as an example.. ..Its cause we were having thoughts like "ill show them!", "Ill teach this person a lesson!" right b4 we did it. Now..if we want better results out of our life.. it will mean looking at what behaviors we are doing thats creating this unwanted result. Altering these unwanted behaviors will mean addressing and developing some understanding of the thoughts that are leading to the behavior. Ok? Our natural tendency as humans is to be somewhat impulsive with our actions. We simply think "ill teach them" and the next thing we know we are saying something we later regret. Becoming just slightly conscious of our thoughts and will go a long way to getting u the better result ur seeking in life. "Know Thyself" is wat Aristotle said.

Lesson 1 -- Thoughts, Behavior / and Outside Cues

We control only our thoughts and behavior. Anything beyond ourselves..we dont control. We will call these things "outside cues" as they happen outside of our mind. Everything u see..ur pet lizard..ur uncle jim..the sky , the stars...these are all outside cues. We can try to influence uncle Jim to do something but we dont directly control his behavior. Not like we control of our own minds. Someone who experiences intrusive thoughts may not feel like they are in control of their own minds. But if its not you choosing these thoughts then who is doing it? I would argue that most folks simply get trapped in negative thinking patterns that come from a deeply flawed self concelf..and its always the result of a negative emotional experience during ones upbringing. We will come back to this soon.

Lesson 2 -- Internal Consequences and External Consequences.

Behaviors have consequences im sure you've heard but this is slightly different. They have both external consequences ( which is the obvious one) and internal consequences. For example someone 4got her purse once at a restaurant and I immediately ran the purse to her b4 her car left the lot. My behavior affects her as she has her purse again. This of course is an external consequence of my behavior. Something else happens though. There is a sense of satisfaction that I felt as I complete the purse hand off. I was having good thoughts in that moment. That's what feelings are. They are essentially thoughts. Someone who is smiling is having good thoughts. Someone who is crying is having bad thoughts.

Lesson 3 How the child brain works and how it may become twisted.

So...the way human behavior generally works is.. we come into this world as blank slates. Like a blank piece of paper that gets painted on with red paint everytime we experience anything. Experts agree that by the time we are 8 years old..our personality is set like stone. The adult we become is decided by the time we are 8 or 9 years old. Infact a childs brain is a completely different animal than the adult brain. Its maluable like a soft clay but will harden at 8 years old. The adult brain is still maluable...but nowhere near the level of neural plasticity that a child brain has. Anyway this delicate age of 0 to 8 years..its called "crucial growth development" phase. Unfortunately the lessons I learned during this time was that I was bad and a nuisance basically. I was always getting yelled at. It was painful as a kid but I had no idea of the real damage occurring. This would be "the gift that keeps giving" 4 lack of a better term. But this is how it works. We experience a negative emotional experience or many and since it is usually the primary caregiver who is doing the abuse it can really create self image issues. We are genetically dispositiond to admire , look up too our parents. A child will be faithful to a parent even to the death and often are. The point is.. being put down by someone we look up so much..like a god.. can cause a child to personalize the abuse or put downs or slap in the head or kick in butt. When a child is yelled at..all the kid really hears is that they are bad. Not good enough , lacking, falling short of expectation. Raising children takes a great deal of patience and many simply are not up to the task. There are also very good reasons people behave the way they do. In terms of abuse...often the parent is self hating and they see themselves reflected in their child. Often the abuser will target the child that resembles them the most. A single mom may target the child that looks most like the father than ran out.

Lesson 4 - Taking responsibility

Taking responsibility are two huge words. That s the difference between a boy and a man. Institutions are full of "man children " who say . "My wife MAKES me hit her" . Someone who takes responsibility says.. "I hit my wife cause I was angry WHEN she did that". Those are 2 very different statements. Infact u will never hear the latter..cause anyone with such insight no longer beats his wife. "Its not the thing that bothers u but how u see the thing" Stoic philosopher Epictetus said this. Acknowledging our own free will is crucial cause a habit we are going to try to cultivate here is something likely pretty alien to u. Its giving urself a pat on the back. Its called positive reinforcement. For example.. ur here reading this so it means ur trying to better urself...u want to encourage this same behavior in the future so positive reinforcement is useful here. It means giving urself a pat on the back. Giving someone a reward when they do what u want will increase the likelihood they will do it again. This is called basic learning theory. A negative result decreases the likelyhood the same behavior will happen again. Picture a lab rat with a buzzer and we want it to keep hitting the buzzer... should u shock it after it hits the buzzer or reward it with a treat? Of course we want reward it with a treat..let it experience positive reinforcement. U kick urself when u screw up...but here u are doing something to help urself so why not reward urself? U could..but likely ur not in a habit of doing this at all. And neither was I by the way..infact giving myself a pat on the back is something im still working on too. This is why taking responsibility is crucial though. "The only just cause one has to praise or blame oneself lies in the proper use of their freewill." This is what Rene Descartes said. Can we be praised or blamed for anything that's not our own doing? We cannot. I remember when I first heard the term "white guilt". I thought hmm im not sure if I should feel guilty or not. That was years ago. I know better now. How can I be guilty of something thats not my doing? Since the only thing I control is my mind and behaviors then its only the proper use of this control that one can rightly praise themselves.

Lesson 5

This information we have covered is pretty heavy stuff and it may be best digested in small portions. If u want u can take a break..but I will give u some homework. As u go out into the world...or as u watch a show or movie...try paying attention to the specific words people use as they speak. Many people do something called projecting. I used to do this a lot. Its a form of mental illness basically but its also a natural tendency. Humans like to believe that we are all the same. If I like jazz music I assume everyone likes it. I asked someone how he likes the tattoo he has once.. "At first its weird but YOU get used to it." Why is he saying "you"? And not "i"..."I got used to it". Its projection. Everybody is the same so if it applies to one its applies to another is how they view the world. People that do this likely dont have much empathy for others. Just cause u experience something a certain way does mean it can be applied uniformly to all. But someone with a personality disorder it means exactly that. I expect many of u will feel confused as u read this and so was I once...but with time u will understand. Like u said feel free to ask a question anytime. Another thing folks constantly claim is "No choice". I dont want to get up at 6 am tomorrow someone says. Ok then sleep into 7. "No choice" the person responds..."I HAVE to go to work". If u want to keep ur job maybe u HAVE to but...its not that theres "no choice". Folks subconsciously dont like believing they are responsible. The point im making here with lesson 5 is we can notice how people see the world by the words they use and of course we can observe our own words and make note of what word choice we use to give us insight into our own mind. I still catch myself doing the "you" projection thing frequently. And ill even say "that MAKES me angry" often..But at least im noticing it when i do it. Remember..folks often do things that we find unbecoming of ourselves and its very convenient to deflect responsibility. It can be anything. Let's say ur a cutter.. do u cut cause u feel like u have no choice? The compulsion is to strong? Do u do it cause ur folks MAKE u do it, or stress MAKES u do it? Or do u do it cause ur choosing to as a way to relieve stress and enjoy the instant gratification it provides? The same could be said for sex and drugs or gambling or rage or any destructive behavior that carries with it some form of instant gratification. Its very easy to get stuck in this cycle. I can do actual therapy and do homework and try to develop some understanding of whats going on with me..which may provide some gratification some day...or I can simply take a drink and get straight instant gratification. For years I simply "took the drink" so to speak. Until it got so bad that I was compelled to change. Thats when i started seeing Keith my former mentor. He was my psychologist but the relationship is deeper than that. Its a truly intimate one when someone sees a therapist for as long as I saw him. We are talking years.

Lesson 6 _ We get trapped in cycles of behaviors confirming negative self beliefs

So we've covered how the mind becomes affected by neglect during the curicial growth years of childhood. ..and we've discussed how everything we do has internal and external consequences. Now lets notice how they both have had a part in creating ur current dysfunctional self image and life. Someone gets traumatized from something that happened when they were a kid...then that person grows up to do behaviors like... drinking / drugs / cutting / sex / eating / raging..and other destructive compulsions. Its about trying to develop a sense of control over this situation we call life. It all comes back to control. We felt things were so out of control during the abuse we endured as a kid..that now as an adult we find ourselves desperately seeking control . ..like an overcompensation. One can see how obsessive compulsive behavior could easily be attributed to this sense of need for control. Something so bad happened to the poor person..that the person becomes locked into trying to feel like they re in control for LIFE. Again..like a godt that keeps giving. Folks develop the warped self image while we are young generally..then we also begin doing behaviors that also affect our self esteem. Breaking the negative thought patterns we are stuck in will involve coming to terms and dealing with the childhood trauma we experienced..AND also any other trauma we've created through actions we've done. Am I making sense to u so far my friend?

Much more to come..