u/GrueneTopfpflanze

Hi everyone,

I’m not a regular Redditor and honestly find it a bit daunting. I’m not entirely sure what I’m hoping to get out of this either.

Anyway, I’m considering getting assessed for autism and/or ADHD.

I’ve previously been diagnosed with a trauma-related disorder (I have a choleric father) and OCD. Iykyk... 💀

At some point BPD was also suggested. I fit some criteria but never felt it was accurate, even if having a label was reassuring. Both the OCD and trauma are well managed, so this whole post isn’t OCD-related. 😬

I’m a heavy bottom-up processor, which made university and work life draining. I’ve sat almost every exam twice because I didn’t absorb the material during lectures or didn’t even go and then tried to study for 2-3 weeks almost locked in my room but got lost in details. My summaries were bigger than the books. I need to understand every detail before I come to an understanding. Then I still have to learn everything by heart because otherwise I cannot put my knowledge into words. Not saying this is related to ADHD or autism, just trying to explain why a lot of things seem to come more easily to others. And despite having a PhD I feel like a fraud.

Other example: I can’t verbalize my thoughts well although the concept is complete in my head. I script almost every meeting at least to a degree — not just because I’m nervous, but because I know I won’t be able to get across what I mean if I don’t.

I also quit a previous job because I couldn’t manage daily deadlines and constant on-site presence. I work in bursts. If I’m interested in sth I can get absorbed but otherwise it is torture. Maybe others just deal with it I guess?! By now I’ve just accepted that I have this kind of laziness.

In a previous job where I had to be on-site, I used to take a cigarette breaks super often and tried to hide it. Sure 😶‍🌫️… but I just could not sit in front of the computer all day. I’ve since quit, but I still need that kind of escape valve when I can’t manage my own time. On the other hand I recently got a breast augmentation and researched that for over a year daily like wtf.. maybe if I could redirect that energy on work topics. 😅

I still don’t understand why I was bullied in school but socially, I’ve learned a lot — to not always redirect conversations to myself, to validate and listen, to ask people about their weekend. I’m in my mid-30s and only recently figured this out. I find socializing genuinely exhausting and strongly prefer 1:1 interactions that are planned in advance. My boyfriend is an exception. 🤓

I’m aware this could all be explained by social anxiety, trauma, a specific processing style, a combination. I’m also aware I might just be someone who read too much online and analyzes themselves too much. I always did.

Still, I cannot stop wondering. 😭 Two neurodivergent friends suggested I look into an assessment — not just based on what I’ve shared. I should also mention that I never discussed most of this with my therapists although one considered ADHD. The OCD and emotional stuff always felt more urgent.

I don’t even know what I expect from posting here but some thoughts would be nice. 😊

Hey everyone,

I completed my 200hr yoga teacher training a year ago and am in the process of doing the 500hrs. Although I’ve mainly practiced Ashtanga over the past 8 years, I’ve been gravitating more toward Hatha Flow. My training focused on Hatha and Vinyasa.

I originally did the teacher training mostly for myself, though I am interested in teaching eventually. I especially loved learning more about alignment and stability, and it has helped my own practice so much.

Now my teacher asked me to substitute her advanced class, and I’m feeling a bit hesitant. On one hand, it’s an advanced class, so people generally know what they’re doing. On the other hand, I’m struggling a bit with feeling like a fraud—even though I know everyone has to start somewhere.

How did you navigate those feelings when you first started teaching? ☺️