u/GuestGuypunch0

To start off, Im 99.999% sure that I don't have any disorders or something like that because I never thought of them as real people and I don't have any trauma. I made this because when I search it up and google says it's not possible. They were more like alternate me's. For the longest time I just had that think where you have a guy in the back of your head who gives advice. Eventually I got really mad at smth for about a week (i forgot what it was🧠🔨). So i threw him out of my ear???? After that he was quite for a couple of days but came back eventually. Over a year or two I ended up collecting more me's like Pokémon in my head. If I remember right there was one who was always mad, a fake gangster one, me, a fake me who would say something in my exact voice and try to trick me into thinking i said it, and the original advice guy. There was one who was always scared for about a month but I threw him into the stomach and he melted in the acid. This happend before fake me appeared and while the advice guy was gone. Also I killed him bc he was annoying and I blamed him for me not getting my work done. I actually did feel better after that though. After a while (maybe a school year quarter) the fake gangster and the mad guy went between being the same person one day and then went back to being two people the next until one day they just stayed fused forever. After a while the advice guy just disappeared. Whenever I try or tried to think of where he went all I could come up with was that he died of old age and I replaced him. So all I was left with was fake me and fake gangster and this new annoying guy who was like the advice guy but his advice was terrible. So eveuntually I got made at all of them and threw them all into the stomach acid Including some random NPCs i found in the back of my head. I had a mental image or all these guys too btw. The mad guy was me with a weird looking live action cartoon generic mad face mix that was red. The fake ganster was just me with either a red head band, a black one, or just not wearing one. The scared guy barely looked like me and was pink for some reason. When I tried to think of the advice guy all I could think of was a mouth and a mustache. The bad advice guy was short and had brighter skin. We where all kind of looked like ghost bc we were a little transparent. And the npc's where just ghost with legs basically. We all had legs. Is this just me being bored? Is this why all of this happend? Also why do I miss them now? Even the bad ones. Now I just talk to myself in my head. Also the body is like a robot that anyone could pilot and fake me piloted a lot bc I'm a lazy bum so I didn't have to do anything. Now it just runs on autopilot and I talk to myself in my head. Also it might have something to do with me wearing headphones allot more over the years.

(Sorry this isn't really a mental health thing i couldn't find anywhere else to put ts)

I know more people have worse problems than this but, Idk whats wrong with me, it feels like there is two me's. Like one me is a dumb guy who does physical stuff and i js sit back and think and watch. I feel like its brain fog becasue i can remember key moments of my day if I try. I can remember I played uno today for example. I feel like im just trying to make excuses for myself but then I dont and i go back and forth.

I obviously woudn't talk to anyone in real life about this. That's why im using a account that i think is anonymous. If it just made me uncomfortable i wouldnt come here. Its effecting my work and it might make me loose my chance to go to college. When I search what im feeling it comes up with derealization or depersonolization. But i can reconize my self in a mirror. I'll look and think "okay thats me". It feels the same as looking at anyone else. But I feel disconnected from my body. It feels like my voice is coming from a thin wall. When im in a conversation it feels like watching someone else have it. It also feels like my eyes are behind my actual eyes.

Am i js lazy or dumb. I think im just dumb but dumb people cant realize their dumb. Am i coping with being dumb?????? Am i just tierd???

I dont want to say i have anything more than brain fog because I feel like im taking away from the people who actually have smth bad like depersonolization. But if I dont then why do I feel like im not controlling anything. Even while im typing this.

I feel so selfish for typing all this. Sorry to anyone who has these things. But i swear stuff js come out my mouth and i dont think until im alone. Like when im in a room full of people im LITTERALLY an air head. I feel like a mass of smoke and eye balls floating in my skull. but not litteraly but also litteraly????

But wierdly enough i dont really mind any of this that much. I mean I mind it because I dont know WHY im like this but i feel like if i did i would be fine. I also dont like that its effecting my work. Do feal relatively fine from what ive seen other people say bc i accepted it? I remember when I 1st started feeling like this 3 or 4 years ago. I was in middle school. I stared crying, so does that mean i just got used to it. I feel like if i switch to how it used to be it'll feel wierd.

Am selfish for taking time away to complain about something that is probably a lack of sleep???? I feel like im trying to sound like a main character of an anime. Or that im trying to make an excuse for being dumb/lazy. Or that im only acting like this BECAUSE Ive seen the symptoms. BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS BEFORE. I remember the last time i felt normal was either a year or 3 ago/ 2 or 1 grades ago. I had a long nosebleed and i can't remeber the last time i didnt feel air headed. Does the nosebleed have anything to do with this??? DO I need a theripist?? Even if i do i deffinitly wouldn't get one.

I feel more grounded after "Good" conversations but after bad ones I feel fogged up again. Like clouded glasses. If it was a pint systom a good is +1 to being normal and a bad is -2.5 away. I feel like my thoughts get sharper somethimes but im never fully there. The max is like a 50 or a 75????

Dreams and real life feel the same when i think about them in a memory. But i dont dream that much so im not really sure if they feel the same in the moment. I realized that right now. If you read allat then thx. I kind of js wrote ts because I heard writing down your feelings is a good thing. Ive heard it so many times. but if i wrote it on paper i would js destroy what i wrote. when i write "destroy what i wrote" I feel like im trying to be edgy. BUT ITS TRUE. whats the point of writing it down?????? What do you do with the paper?????????? Destroying it is basically the same as not writing anything. I live in an appartment so if I hid it people would probably still find it. But its clearly doing something. I wrote all of this. Ill probably delete this because after i wrote it all I realized im just writing my thoughts down. Reddit is a place for question not diaries. Also sorry for the typos.

(I added this later) Also i heard some symtoms can be caused by truama. I dont have anything to be traumatized about. Ive heard gender dysphoria which i dont think i have either. Maybe strees????? but what do i have to be streesed about??? school work? EVERYONE HAS THAT.

Im really sorry for how dumb I sound in this but if you have any suggestions pls help.

Idk whats wrong with me, it feels like there is two me's. Like one me is a dumb guy who does physical stuff and i js sit back and think and watch. I feel like its brain fog becasue i can remember key moments of my day if I try. I can remember I played uno today for example. I feel like im just trying to make excuses for myself but then I dont and i go back and forth. I obviously woudn't talk to anyone in real life about this. That's why im using a account that i think is anonymous. If it just made me uncomfortable i wouldnt come here. Its effecting my work and it might make me loose my chance to go to college. When I search what im feeling it comes up with derealization or depersonolization. But i can reconize my self in a mirror. I'll look and think "okay thats me". It feels the same as looking at anyone else. But I feel disconnected from my body. It feels like my voice is coming from a thin wall. When im in a conversation it feels like watching someone else have it. It also feels like my eyes are behind my actual eyes. Am i js lazy or dumb. I think im just dumb but dumb people cant realize their dumb. Am i coping with being dumb?????? Am i just tierd??? I dont want to say i have anything more than brain fog because I feel like im taking away from the people who actually have smth bad like depersonolization. But if I dont then why do I feel like im not controlling anything. Even while im typing this. I feel so selfish for typing all this. Sorry to anyone who has these things. But i swear stuff js come out my mouth and i dont think until im alone. Like when im in a room full of people im LITTERALLY an air head. I feel like a mass of smoke and eye balls floating in my skull. but not litteraly but also litteraly???? But wierdly enough i dont really mind any of this that much. I mean I mind it because I dont know WHY im like this but i feel like if i did i would be fine. I also dont like that its effecting my work. Do feal relatively fine from what ive seen other people say bc i accepted it? I remember when I 1st started feeling like this 3 or 4 years ago. I was in middle school. I stared crying, so does that mean i just got used to it. I feel like if i switch to how it used to be it'll feel wierd. Am i self centered for typing all of this????? I feel like im trying to sound like a main character of an anime. Or that im trying to make an excuse for being dumb/lazy. Or that im only acting like this BECAUSE Ive seen the symptoms. BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS BEFORE. I remember the last time i felt normal was either a year or 3 ago/ w or 1 grades ago. I had a big nosebleed and i can't remeber the last time i didnt feel air headed. Does the nosebleed have anything to do with this??? DO I need a theripist?? Even if i do i deffinitly wouldn't get one. I feel more grounded after "Good" conversations but after bad ones I feel fogged up again. Like clouded glasses. If it was a pint systom a good is +1 to being normal and a bad is -2.5 away. I feel like my thoughts get sharper somethimes but im never fully there. The max is like a 50 or a 75???? Dreams and real life feel the same when i think about them in a memory. I realized this right now. If you read allat then thx. I kind of js wrote ts because I heard writing down your feelings is a good thing. Ive heard it so many times but if i wrote it on paper i would js destroy whateer i wrote. Even when i write "destroy whateer i wrote" I feel like im trying to be edgy. BUT ITS TRUE. whats the point of writing it down?????? What do you do with the paper?????????? Destroying it is basically the same as not writing anything. I live in an appartment so if I hid it people would probably still find it. But its clearly doing something. I wrote all of this. Ill probably delete this because after i wrote it all I realized im just writing my thoughts down. Reddit is a place for question not diaries. Also sorry for the typos.

(I added this later) Also i heard some symtoms can be caused by truama. I dont have anything to be traumatized about. Ive heard gender dysphoria which i dont think i have either. Maybe strees????? but what do i have to be streesed about??? school work? EVERYONE HAS THAT.

I can't open any games and the link does the same thing