Tried a rebound hookup once, realized casual intimacy isn’t for me. Am I still a hookup person?
I recently went through a phase where a lot of people around me were normalizing hookup culture. Friends talked about kissing on the first date, casual intimacy, and acting like emotions weren’t necessary. I felt a lot of FOMO and ended up kissing a rebound on the first time we met. It was also my first kiss.
The thing is, almost immediately afterward, I realized it didn’t feel right to me. I wasn’t judging anyone else who enjoys casual relationships, but I learned that I personally can’t separate physical intimacy from emotional connection. It went against my own values, and I never wanted to repeat that kind of experience.
Since then, I’ve been intentional about dating and only pursuing relationships where there’s genuine emotional attachment.
Now I’m with my current partner (20M). I was completely honest with him about this experience because I didn’t want to hide anything. However, he believes that because I once participated in a rebound hookup, I’m fundamentally a “hookup culture” type of person, even though I explained that it was something I tried once, regretted, and consciously chose not to do again.
His view is making me question myself. Does one experience—especially one influenced by FOMO and teenage immaturity—define someone’s relationship style forever? Or is it reasonable to say that trying something once and realizing it isn’t for you is simply part of figuring yourself out?