امك فالة من الدار بسبب ابوك و تصحى من النوم تلاقي ابوك ناعث سلة الزبالة كلها عالاراض لانها اجت بطريقه و عصب، و كمان كسر صحنين فبدك تنظف المطبخ كامل هسا (عندك امتحانين و بريزنتيشن بكرا)
كثييييير كرنج كثييير خلص اكبر اعقل بطلت تضحك لا تضل تعيدها
صارلي فترة بفكر تفكيرات نرجسية شوي. or like having a high ego
بفكر حالي احسن، او اجمل او اذكى او او او.
الموضوع مضايقني شوي، خايف اتعود عليه و اصير فعلا نرجسي.
من قبل كانت بس افكار، بس استوعبت على حالي انه صار في بعض الأفعال، زي اني قاعد بزبط ببنات حلوة just to prove i can bag her.
و بعد ما استوعبت عنفسي جد متقزز من تصرفاتي و بطلت. بس الأفكار بعدها عندي و بخاف جد اصير نرجسي رسمي.
هي بداية الافكار كانت بسبب مدح الناس، سواء شخصية او منظر،و برضو انه في كمية كويسة من البنات الي بتعطيني اهتمام غير مبرر (حكيي زي هيك لحاله بحسه في قمة النرجسية انا اسف). يعني اشي حلو انه الواحد يعترف بنفسه، او يعتز، بس انه بديش اياه تصل لمستوى نرجسي قذر.
بعرف انه حرام، و بعرف انه من فيه ذرة كبر ما بدخل جهنم، بس جد بدي حل فعلي او طريقة تفكير او اي اشي بقدر اسويه، و بنفس الوقت بدون تحطيم نفسيتي.
بيجي ابوي بقولي بعدين " يلا شو رأيك نستأجر شقة انا و اياك "
bro انت فاهم غلط انا بدي افل منك😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
جاي احكي هون لأنه فيش حد ثاني احكيله
خاصة انها : اكبر منه ب ٤ سنين. و عندها حبيب.
PURLEY platonic و هم اصلا مش تايب بعض
بعرفها قبل ما تتعرفوا عبعض، و انتي كمان بتعرفيها و مصاحبيتها و هي اصلا الي عرفتكوا عبعض. و الشات عندهم انتي بتشوفيه بأي وقت بدك اياه، و بتعرفي من قبل ما حتى ما تتعرفوا عبعض انهم صحبة.
حتى لو ما في اي مشاعر مبدأية، بس واضح الطريق. يعني مش مصلحة تحب وحدة و بعد ما تتطور علاقتكوا تعرف انها asexual
A university therapist.
I went to him and told him a bit about my problems. I felt like he just wasn't getting me, kept arguing with me, and made me feel extra guilty. Or am I just being a baby?
He asked me what's bothering me the most. I told him that I've been cutting off my friends even though they mean a lot to me, I love them, and I miss them so much. But I literally just can't communicate, hang out, or talk to them, even if it's just a text. Every time I try to message them, I get overwhelmed and upset. (It's super messed up, I know). He started guilting me and was like, "No, you can't do that" (as if I didn't know that already) and told me, "If I were them, I'd cut you off and stop talking to you" (again, as if I didn't know). I told him, I swear, every time I even try to move my finger to text, I get distressed and start cursing myself out. He said, "No, today you need to go and text them." I told him it's no use because every time I talk to them, I do it for a bit and then just suddenly cut them off again.
He told me to "find a balance" and not talk to them all day (when I \*did\* try reaching out again, I wasn't even talking to them all day, just a bit, and I STILL ended up cutting them off).
He said it's normal for someone to want to be alone sometimes to watch something, play, or read. I told him \*that's\* my problem, I isolate myself from people and I don't even do anything else I enjoy either (like watching shows, movies, or playing games, which I used to spend all my time doing).
Instead, I just slump around and pace my room making up fake scenarios in my head (literally 90% of my time) or watching Reels. He told me to try to change the scenery and go out, and I'd get better. I’ve tried that so many times over the past 7 months, and the exact same thing happens every single time in the end. I told him that, but he just told me to ignore the past and try from now.
I talked about my family a bit. He said, "You and your siblings are adults, try to fix things between your mom and dad." I told him we tried soooo many times and talked so much, and it's no use. Then he starts telling me, "No, you didn't try!! You're just convincing yourselves that you tried!! You're adults and you need to solve a problem like this yourselves, you can't just leave it." I told him multiple times like, "No, we really did," but he just kept stubbornly arguing with me and repeating the exact same thing, so I eventually just shut up. (He seriously pissed me off)
Am I just being dramatic, or is this how it normally is?
He also totally ignored me(or more like, just let it slide) when I told him that sometimes I get into this state where I just despise myself, curse myself out, and start saying I don't even deserve death, I deserve torture because of how much I hate myself (like, I realize what I'm doing, but I just can't change it, especially when that episode hits).
Am I really just being a baby?
A university therapist.
I went to him and told him a bit about my problems. I felt like he just wasn't getting me, kept arguing with me, and made me feel extra guilty. Or am I just being a baby?
He asked me what's bothering me the most. I told him that I've been cutting off my friends even though they mean a lot to me, I love them, and I miss them so much. But I literally just can't communicate, hang out, or talk to them, even if it's just a text. Every time I try to message them, I get overwhelmed and upset. (It's super messed up, I know). He started guilting me and was like, "No, you can't do that" (as if I didn't know that already) and told me, "If I were them, I'd cut you off and stop talking to you" (again, as if I didn't know). I told him, I swear, every time I even try to move my finger to text, I get distressed and start cursing myself out. He said, "No, today you need to go and text them." I told him it's no use because every time I talk to them, I do it for a bit and then just suddenly cut them off again.
He told me to "find a balance" and not talk to them all day (when I *did* try reaching out again, I wasn't even talking to them all day, just a bit, and I STILL ended up cutting them off).
He said it's normal for someone to want to be alone sometimes to watch something, play, or read. I told him *that's* my problem, I isolate myself from people and I don't even do anything else I enjoy either (like watching shows, movies, or playing games, which I used to spend all my time doing).
Instead, I just slump around and pace my room making up fake scenarios in my head (literally 90% of my time) or watching Reels. He told me to try to change the scenery and go out, and I'd get better. I’ve tried that so many times over the past 7 months, and the exact same thing happens every single time in the end. I told him that, but he just told me to ignore the past and try from now.
I talked about my family a bit. He said, "You and your siblings are adults, try to fix things between your mom and dad." I told him we tried soooo many times and talked so much, and it's no use. Then he starts telling me, "No, you didn't try!! You're just convincing yourselves that you tried!! You're adults and you need to solve a problem like this yourselves, you can't just leave it." I told him multiple times like, "No, we really did," but he just kept stubbornly arguing with me and repeating the exact same thing, so I eventually just shut up. (He seriously pissed me off)
Am I just being dramatic, or is this how it normally is?
He also totally ignored me(or more like, just let it slide) when I told him that sometimes I get into this state where I just despise myself, curse myself out, and start saying I don't even deserve death, I deserve torture because of how much I hate myself (like, I realize what I'm doing, but I just can't change it, especially when that episode hits).
Am I really just being a baby?