u/Gullible-Show-6215

my 9 month old has been primarily fed to sleep at night, we had a few weeks when he was 7 months old that he let us rock him to sleep, but had more night wakes and eventually refused to sleep, so we went back to feeding to sleep.

his wake windows are usually around 4/4/4, sometimes 3.5 hours, but can fall asleep in the car at 3 hours.

his dad and i are split, and his dad tells me that bub just falls asleep on him when he’s there (he’s usually been awake for 4.5 hours when that happens). but he’s never done that with me.
his dad says that bub just gets fussy, and refuses to play or anything and just wants to be held, and when he’s being held he just rests his head on his dads shoulder and closes his eyes, no matter the noise, light etc.

but he will just wind up with me if he’s tired, like if i don’t feed him to sleep, or put him to sleep in the car, he will get fussier, crankier, pushes himself off me when held, pulls his hair and ears, and will eventually turn into screaming if i don’t put the boob in his mouth.

(bub follows an eat-play-sleep routine when he’s with his dad, and i go over there after a nap to breastfeed him. but when he’s with me, it’s an eat-play-eat-sleep)

his sleep is also very hit-or-miss at night. some nights he will only wake up once, other nights it’s every 45 minutes, our routine doesn’t change at all.

my son (almost 9 m/o) seems to think he’s more capable than he is, and is bumping his head close to daily, maybe once a week it’s bad enough to leaving a bruise.

his father is trying to find anything to prove me unfit, and i just have a strong feeling he’s taking photos of these to possible accuse me of causing harm to him.

i have been documenting his injuries, but i wanted to know if i should be informing his father aswell?
i have been sending him a text to let him know when our son does hurt himself, but he always responding in a condescending way, as to say that my son is clearly not safe with me.
i’ve been avoiding saying something to him if there’s no mark, but documenting it on my end anyway.
will it look bad in court if i’m not informing him when theses accidents happen?
or is that a bit more dismissible as long as i have it all documented
(time, date, where & when it happened, medical advice seeked (if needed), witness, a photo of the injury and what’s been done to prevent it in future, and my signature)

i’m his primary carer, he’s with me every night (he’s breastfed and still wakes a lot at night for a feed)
but he sees his dad 4 days a week (2 days after work, from 9-5 one day, and 11-5 the next, i go to his dads and feed him when he needs milk during that time)

i’m trying to get my documents together in the case i have to go to court over custody for my son.

i know that he is making false accusations against me in regards to substance abuse and has “proof” of it, so i’m wondering if it’s just as important to document where i was, what i was doing on those days etc as it is to document things relating to his neglect.

my son is 8 months old, and his dad and i have been separated since he was 5 months.

since my son was about 6 months old, every drop off and pickup i do with his dad, my son is crying the minute he is in his dads arms.

and i don’t mean a sooky cry, i mean a screaming, snotty, bright red face cry after 20 seconds of his dad holding him.

he’s not a super clingy baby unless it’s near bed time, he has no issues with me leaving him with my immediate family, friends and a few extended family members. no tears at all, but he screams at his dad.

i’m worried about what it’s like over at his dads house, i know it’s not a homey, or “inviting” environment from when i lived there (he lives with his sister and his own dad)

there’s lots of arguments and frustration, they did seem to take a mental note when a baby is around (based off when i lived there) but knowing their personalities, i doubt that they take too much precautions with things like raising voices, or any sort of arguments.

i know that my exs father has some twisted ways of dicipline staring young, and my ex seemed to be against it, maybe not as much as i was but he did understand the negatives of those sorts of things (like smacking/spanking, or more so at this age wacking hands away from things he shouldn’t be touching).

so my ex seemed to be against it, but his dad is very persuasive and can easily convince my ex to agree with these opinions.

idk, im just assuming or taking a stab in the dark, i just don’t understand why my baby is screaming when he’s in his fathers arms but doesnt for anyone else, its heartbreaking watching him drive away and seeing his face in the back seat bright red, snotty and his mouth wide open screaming..