u/Gundislav

I’m old school in that I do not like giving up on people that aré important to me. I’m well aware she is not choosing me at this moment in time but I don’t want to stop communicating with her.

I genuinely see her as the one and don’t want to let her go. I think it’s normal to fight for something that is worth it.

Maybe it sounds not rational to think how I think and unconventional but I think I do it out of love and nothing more.

Last time we spoke she told me she needs space as far as relationships and that she is trying to figure out what she wants in life. She is well aware of my good intentions with her and she says time will tell if she is ready for me. We had a small incident in our relationship of a trust issue which in my eyes was minuscule, but to her it’s a big deal. It essentially came down to keeping us a secret and I told my female cousin who she was friends with and that upset her. She confuse me because she talks about this possible future between us but it’s only when she is ready and if that what she decides on.

I don’t want to push the subject but I also don’t want to stop being her friend and loosing her all together.

I want to continue writing her the daily good morning text and the good night text. There are days she is receptive and kind and loving and there other days she just responds to respond to not feel like the asshole. She knows how much I care for her and she tells me how much she cares for me yet there is that disconnect at this point in time…

Today modern advice is give her space or forget her, if she doesn’t text back in a month delete her blah blah to the extremes. Idk, I do need to detach emotionally a bit and that is already a struggle so a complete detachment will devastate me.

TL;DR
I’m M/46 and I’m crazy but here is my story. I met a girl she is F/34 and she is lesbian as far as she tells me. She never has been with a guy as far as she tells me. We met through a family member at a New Year’s party, I was warned the she was not into guys. We connected since and have talked on the phone for over 5 months. I invited her over my house for two week vacation in which we went on a road trip and the latter week at my place. I received girlfriend treatment while we were together and attempted intimacy it was brief but she expressed how much she liked it.

So we have a friendship at the moment.

Ok she is gone now a month has passed and I get that awkward call of her pulling away and telling me she always told me she had a GF who is a penpal overseas that will becoming in the summer to visit her, she told me they were just friends fyi in the past.

I don’t judge her and yes I’m upset because I thought we had a serious connection but it seems to me she chose that girl over me.

Aside from the crazy part that I thought it was possible for her to fall for me, it takes two to tango and I felt like an experiment nothing more. She shared her dreams with me of forming a family with a man and having a child. I so bought into that dream, yes offcourse this could have happened to me with a hetero girl but it makes more complicated because her inate is woman and not men.

I’m just left in a place of confusion, and hurt. When i try to touch the subject she tells me to not pressure her and false hope that we might end up together in the long run.

I’ve asked her you want me to forget you and she emotionally said no! I know I should choose myself and forget her since no one should be treated like second back option but man I really fell for this girl. Two weeks of fun and spooning and kissing and all of that….

I’m a sucker the more I think about it…😮‍💨💔

So is it possible for a lesbian to fall for a straight man? Yes or no?

I met a wonderful woman during new years, we kicked it off very well, she is friends with my hetero female cousin.

My cousin warmed me and told me she is gay so she won’t see you that way. I ignored her warning only because I saw her interaction with me and it felt genuine. She wasn’t turned off with my attention towards her. We hanged a few times that week I was there and we texted and talked since. There are times we talk for hours on the phone, now I told her to come visit me for a week or two this month of April. She came to Florida and stayed with me for about 5 days and then she came a second time with her roommate who is hetero and spend another 6 days with me. When we were alone, we had a great time, she gave me girlfriend treatment, we cuddled, slept on the same bed, kissed and hug but no sex. We chat a lot and fell asleep spooning.

The second time around she asked to be reserved around her roommate because she felt wierd being affectionate in front of her. So we kissed and slept together behind her back she would sneak into my room when her roommate was asleep. Her roommate obviously saw that I like her because she brought it up many times in front of us. I just had that awkward smile to not make her feel uncomfortable. Ok on the last night on second trip, she sneaked into my room and was like I’m ready and made the first move, she was like I want to have sex with you. I was caught off guard but I went along and was patient and kind with her. She kept telling me that she liked what she was feeling when I first penetrated and she was moving her hips inwards more but about 10 minutes in she felt weirded out and stopped. She was extremely wet at this point, I don’t want to seem like I was frustrated or mad so I went along with it and we just talked. She got up and went to the bathroom and cleaned herself up and we then fell asleep in my arms. Next day she didn’t want to talk about it. Fast forward a few days after now that she is back in NY, she talked about that night and told me that in the future she walk to keep trying and that she did enjoy it but to have patience with her, she was confused that she was liking it.

I usually wouldn’t be this extremely patient with someone if they were hetero. I know that with her I have to be extra patient, I know this is all crazy and I’m crazy because at the end of the day, I will have my heart broke or I will end up with the prize of having her fall in love with me.

Now this is where things get messy, she approached me a long time ago and told me I want to marry a man and have a baby and raise it together but every-once in a while I want to have a fling with a girl. I told her I was ok with it as long as this person never lived with us or she never leave me for that person.

Now it’s gets even messier now because she currently has a penpal girlfriend that lives in another country and they can’t see each other yet for a while probably a year until that girl comes and visits her.

So obviously that girl means to her more than me but yet I choose to stick around thinking that maybe just maybe all the quality time we spent together she chooses me……

I know I’ll probably get hurt and at times I do feel sad but I also remember the nice moments and I keep lying to myself to stick it out and persevere that it’s worth it if it’s works out…..