I talk to my ex daily and I am deeply in love with him. Help!
Basically i met my ex (let’s call him j) in 2024 at uni, we broke up at the start of 2025 then got back together and then broke up in the first week of 2026. I have broken up with him both times. The first; because I had a diagnosed mental illness (eating disorder) which was resurfacing, I felt that i could not be a goos partner to someone while working through these issues and while he was disappointed he understood and we ended things. Around June of 2025 we began chatting again and soon discovered that we both wished to rekindle our relationship, I was so happy and loved him so much however, after six months I decided to end it again, his friends had repeatedly made rape “jokes”, nazi “jokes”, and many more offensive “jokes” that were simply bigotry with no humour to them, he had never stood up to them when they did this things and on more than one occasion had laughed along which led me to believe that perhaps he was making these jokes behind my back, I had discussed this issue with him multiple times and communicated how deeply uncomfortable they made me feel and how wrong their jokes were. While he agreed that they were in the wrong and wanted to make me feel more comfortable he made little to no effort to actively make me less uncomfortable so I ended it. After we broke up we stayed in contact on a daily basis which I am aware was almost 100% a bad idea particularly as neither of us had let go of the relationship or our love for one another, soon it became a part of my routine to chat to him each night, I often looked forward to it. Sometimes we would awkwardly discuss our uneventful love lives but rarely, recently we had one of those talks again and he said that he is kind of interested in someone but mostly not, he did not tell me who and I quickly said I had to go to bed as I couldn’t stand to keep talk to him knowing this. I know I still love him very deeply but I have to move on, I don’t know what to do all I want is him in my life but I know that it I want to stay true to my values and who I am then this cannot happen