u/H-T-At-27

Hi so im a Trans man that goes by he/they pronouns. I really wanna go swimming in swimming Pools but I hate having to Cover my chest because it makes me feel gender dysphoric. I hate seeing Cis Men can go walking around naked and I can’t because I dont have top surgery yet. Because I went swimming with Trans Tape in a inside Swimming Pool and my Trans Tape almost came off. I had to wear a Shirt for the whole time. 🫩

So where I mostly swim at is a Lake and I feel comfortable going there swimming while wearing nothing on the top because it’s allowed there and I seen other Afab people swimming like this too. But I miss swimming at a swimming Pool. Do You guys have any tips on how I Can feel more comfortable going swimming at a swimming Pool? Because I hate wearing a Bikini or a Shirt. Do You guys have like other Tape options that I Can wear and doesn’t Peel Off when I Go swimming?

So today, I took my T Shot and hours later. My Gate Keeper asked me if that he heard that I have been doing that. I Lied quickly and Said no, I explained it to him that I dont have the Money from it and that’s all. Basically I noticed that it was some of my roommates that had told one of the caretakers and gatekeepers. So I went to ask Two of them and the second one told me it was the third one. So I rushed and knocked on her door. We went outside and I argued with her because my fear sadly came true..She made an excuse of how I acted with the others and I told her that I never started it. I would step back and go out. Just to keep myself Safe. Even if I would get caught and they would take it away. I Can take a Break and buy new ones because I’m an adult. Im Honestly upset of why she did that. I get that she is worried but I explained it her that I’m doing Fine and there is also like Minodoxil and Voice Training. We talked about it and changed the topic. She told me that the caretakers and gatekeepers won’t Kick me out or take it away. Because I’m 19 and started at 18, I am planning on getting from the doctors. Im such an Idiot for telling her because I had a feeling that one of them would snitch and it did happen. Rn idk if I’m gonna get some sleep or not of what just happened. I dont want to have high Estrogen again because of how much I feel happy with it. After that I talked to the Gatekeeper and told him that Im not doing that and I want that to be respected. I hated it how he would assume that im doing Something like this. So I need to come up with a Plan of how to get it solved, Because I really want to be respected it. I dont wanna suffer and just feel happy. It’s Like I’m Not gonna do it for the rest of my life and I would keep the secret of the others too if they keep mine. I still feel anixous and have a feeling that Something bad is gonna happen. Im scared and the First Person that I have talked to about diy hrt was an old Roommate that had died.

I just wanna get this over with and get the hrt that I wanted it from the doctors. I know I should be honest but not everyone has to know of what in doing. I told the Gatekeeper that im using Something that is for facial growth and Voice Training. After when I get back home from going out, I always would Check on my diy hrt that it would be there and it has been.

So please, let’s Hope that I’m Not having to Go through this mess again.