I’m a 39M Chinese-American who left NYC for Berlin 15 years ago. I’m a city government landscape engineer divorced co-parent by day, and a non-monogamous responsible hedonist by night. Ask Me Anything!
I’ve hit the 15-year mark of living in Berlin after leaving New York back in 2011, and now looking back I could have never predicted how my life would have turned out. I’m a 39-year-old Chinese-American landscape engineer with the city's the parks department. For a while, I lived a pretty traditional life. I met my ex here and we were married monogamously for 7 years. After the divorce we've maintained a great relationship as co-parents. These days ENM is my preferred relationship dynamic (closer to solo-poly/relationship anarchy) and I enjoy Berlin's rave and alternative lifestyle scene (with moderation!). Some things you can ask me about:
- What it’s like working for the Berlin government as an immigrant.
- Transitioning from a 7-year monogamous marriage to the Berlin ENM scene.
- Co-parenting abroad while maintaining an alternative lifestyle.
- How Berlin has changed from 2011 to 2026.
- NYC vs. Berlin/US vs Germany culture shocks, identity, or German visa struggles.
u/HOTSCHMALZ — 10 hours ago