u/Hahway

▲ 23 r/AITAH

AITAH For Not Being Excited For A Couple's Trip?

I have not had a genuine break from parenting my severely autistic son for three years. My husband is very involved when he's home, but he travels often for work and I am the solo caregiver for about four months total of the year (130+ days on my own with him). When my husband is home, about three times a year I will get a local hotel for a night. But no vacation/respite. So my husband almost never takes care of our son alone, certainly not for more than a day.

My mom moved close to us and it's been lovely having her here. Months ago, we asked her if she could watch our son for a weekend so I could travel with my husband on a work trip. He wants me to go because every year other employees bring their significant others this specific weekend because the location is nice with a boutique hotel on the beach.

My mom is 72. This is a huge undertaking for her and not something she could do with any regularity. But my husband has wanted me to come with him to this place for years, and my mom wants to help.

Here's my potentially asshole attitude - I am not at all excited to go. I've only met one of the employees, once, and don't know anyone else. My husband keeps saying I can spend the days with one of the other wives while he's at work, which doesn't sound particularly fun to me (introvert). On top of that, we'll be staying in an apartment-style portion of the hotel, which means shared bathroom and kitchen with strangers.

Usually I'd suck it up and make the best of it, but I keep thinking how this is the first time I've had a genuine break from parenting in three years and how it's our first time away as a couple since our son was born (he'll be 9 next month), and it's accompanying my husband on a trip he wants me on, to a place where I won't even have my own bathroom like a regular hotel, with a bunch of people I don't know from Adam, and my husband will be working most of the time. And there likely won't be another time soon my mom can watch our son, since it's a very demanding job.

My husband says I can stay home, but I'm so desperate that I'll take any break over no break. Am I being unreasonably unenthusiastic? I can tell he's sad that I'm not excited like he is.

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u/Hahway — 22 hours ago

We have 2 acres in rural.western PA. We want to buy a modular home (special needs kid requires some basic customization like removing walls in the main areas so I can keep my eyes on him), and we just went to visit a seller who had several manufacturers available. We liked Ritz-Craft a lot and asked about pricing. The agent told us we could not buy even the smallest most basic modular for less than 300k turnkey.

That surprised me because when I first started looking into modulars it wasn't nearly that expensive. He suggested a double wide manufactured that they had on display at a discount. When I got home I started looking again and every site I visited, from AmeriSave to Angi to HomeGuide all said the same thing - the average for our area is 160k to 320k turnkey.

I'm so confused and don't know which is correct. Any advice would be very much appreciated, so I don't proceed down this path only to find out I won't ever be able to afford the house.

u/Hahway — 19 days ago