u/Hai456

super interested to hear about how you explain or talk about your poly relationships in therapy.

I'm in therapy and of course I'm worried that my therapist won't understand the dynamic and will flag it as unhealthy.

I don't think it's unhealthy, but it is currently unbalanced because I don't think I personally have capacity for more relationships right now (open to it!). I have a lot of personal work to do, am working on (duh, in therapy lol).

I don't want defending poly to be a distraction. but I also don't really want to hide it, because it is definitely a big personal shift and I would like to be able to share my whole life as it is.

If you've discussed being poly in therapy, how did it go? any recommendations, if it's something your therapist isn't familiar with?

My partner and I are new to being poly in practice, though in theory it's something we discussed pretty extensively.

Recently, my partner met people through friends, and now has 2 additional relationships ongoing IRL. I've chatted with them and they seem nice. We'll probably hang out sometime later.

My partner is excited about me finding someone as well. I'm not against finding additional partners myself, but I feel reluctant to...put effort into it. I work a lot. I have several hobbies I'm already not putting effort into that I'd like to spend more time doing but just don't have the energy. Mostly outside of work I see friends, sleep, and do less housework than I should.

I get crushes on friends and coworkers, but I don't see them going anywhere (they don't like me back, etc). I'm mostly just tired. We've been theoretically poly for years - I think it might very well take years for me to bump into someone interested in my very specific brand of person, lol.

Any recommendations on navigating and adjusting? Especially if you've been the one without anyone else for a while. It all feels a little sudden, though also not at all.

New to ENM, but I've basically been lurking on the sidelines since I was a teen and found out it existed. It's a topic I've read a lot about, but am experiencing for the first time.

My partner and I are both queer and into people of all genders, and have discussed possibly having a more open relationship since the very beginning. It never materialized basically out of laziness, we're comfortable and day to day life is so hectic (sometimes we don't even have 1 day a week we're not both working). I remember joking about not having the scheduling skills to be poly.

But my partner happened on some people he does want to date outside our relationship, and it's actually happening. I'm having some feelings I don't really know how to parse, and would like some recommendations on how to figure out what kind of ENM relationship would be best for us.

I think part of why it never happened before is that I'm probably somewhat on the demisexual side. I can count my total relationships on one hand and have several fingers left over. I'm rarely into many people and I'm not a big porn person because people in porn are never my type, even though I like all genders - I can't really describe why. I'll admit, I skip sex scenes in shows and romance novels all the time.

I do however often have crushes on coworkers or friends who are not into me. Especially people I've known for years who just have a vibe that I get excited to be around. But this kind of thing, I am not going to pursue because I know I am not what they would want. I also feel like I shouldn't mention this to some friends or coworkers for more social safety reasons (like it's probably not work appropriate and I know my parents won't be on board), but I do want people to talk about it with who get it.

I guess I would like to try 'dating' to see if I can find someone myself as well, but seeking someone out as a partnered person is awkward - I feel like I might not be what people would want as a very specific person. And it's so likely that I won't really find anyone I'm into (even if people are into me).

It also sounds kind of tiring tbh. I am also wondering if I need to do more personal work before I'm up to the task of looking for someone for me, or if maybe I just work on doing more solo activities, like seeing movies by myself. I used to do that before I was in a relationship, and I don't really do that anymore.

Anyway, I'd love some recommendations on figuring out what works best for us as newbies. I feel like kitchen table poly sounds the most appealing out of the gate. I have talked to the people my partner is now dating, they're nice peeps, and I like getting updates on their lives. I definitely want to know everything. I feel like knowing stuff is how I feel close to my partner.

I kinda wish I had some irl people to chat about this with. It feels like a big change, but also not at all, and I'm pretty sure I'm not sure at all how I'm feeling haha.