STRONGLY NEED ADVICE
I really don't know what to do with my life... I have a strong strong desire for seeking knowledge and to become a serious/devoted talibah al ilm (student of knowledge) but I just feel like the pathway is blocked. It is impossible to get into saudi arabia university for knowledge and also my family don't understand/value ilm and I wouldn't say they are very into it, but Alhamdullilah they commit to obligatory actions but they just don't like to listen to me when I talk too much about ilm, and prefer that I talk about something "real"...
I really don't want to get into secular uni because student loan is riba-based here. I have applied to so many apprenticeships but literally all rejected me. It saddens me because I have put in a lot of WORK and EFFORT just to get rejected again...I even learned how to respond to interview questions/how to write CV but still unsuccessful..
I have also tried opening my own online business (twice now) which isn't really working well.
Deep inside what I really want is to just be a housewife and seek ilm/raise righteous children. I feel this is best for me but everyone around me is against that.. They all want me to go to uni/get degree/get secure job. I understand they might think this is the best for me which is why I was looking for alternatives like apprenticeship but I just wish that they would understand the value of ilm, and that pursuing religious knowledge is as real as getting a job. They all shrug off and look at me weirdly even when i talk about simple ilm like Tawheed. I feel so stuck in my life. Like what do I do.. especially because I am financially dependent on my parents so like I don't have many options and have to balance between ilm and studies/work
So yeah... I just wanna hear your thoughts on this and what do you think is wise for me to do..like should I just give up and go to uni (riba) idk..I really don't know