u/Hairy_Magazine6000

Hello Infjs, Entp here.

I have a genuine question for the sub:

Are many INFJs naturally prone to avoidant patterns when a connection gets intense quickly or have I just run into a specific subtype?

​I’m not one to generalize easily, but I’ve noticed a very consistent pattern. A few years ago, I dated an INFJ, and just yesterday, I went out with another one.

​The initial chemistry was incredible, that classic Ne - Ni click. We connected deeply, I did a tarot reading for her, we held hands, and there was that intense, fascinating mutual focus all night.

​But the very next day, the walls came straight up. She completely tried to rewrite the narrative, acting like we were just regular, platonic friends. When I jokingly confronted her about it, pointing out that people don’t look at or vibe with "normal friends" the way we did, she completely bypassed the statement, ignored the topic, and just sent me random Reels to deflect.

​So, my question to the INFJ' s here, is this a common defense mechanism like a sudden Ni-Ti overload or fear of losing autonomy, that makes you retreat into the "safe space" of the friendzone when things feel too real? Or did I just happen to encounter an unhealthy, avoidant individual?

​Genuinely curious about your internal processing on this. Thanks!

Let’s be brutally honest for a second and look behind the curtain of this community's bizarre obsession with Te-doms.

If you scroll through MBTI forums, you'd think ENTJs and ESTJs are the flawless, hyper-competent gods of reality. The "perfect" CEOs who flawlessly orchestrate the universe. But if you actually strip away their external systems, you realize that Extraverted Thinking is largely just an illusion of competence built on a massive fear of losing control.

Te doesn't care about the best, most logically sound, or profound solution like Ti does, but cares more about the fastest solution that produces a measurable metric.

Te-doms look confident because they make decisions in split seconds. Still, confusing speed with actual intelligence is a rookie mistake. Half the time, their internal logic is a complete mess, but they sell it with such aggressive authority that people just assume they know what they are doing. They don't know why a system works at its core,they actually have no idea.

They just blindly follow the instruction manual and micromanage everyone else who tries to improve it.

While Ti users build an impenetrable, self sustaining logical framework inside their heads, Te relies entirely on external validation. They need the job title, the hierarchical status, the bank account, and the obedient subordinates to feel secure. Take a Ti user's resources away and they still have their sharp mind.

Take an ENTJ’s or ESTJ’s external structure away and they completely collapse into a panicked pancake. Their confidence is conditional and based on external goods and needs.

Their need to control you isn't "leadership" but a coping mechanism for their own anxiety. Te-doms cannot handle spontaneous variables like Ne does or abstract paradigm shifts, so they try to force reality and other humans into their rigid, linear little boxes. If you are a fluid, adaptable thinker, working with a Te-dom feels like trying to run a marathon in a straitjacket.

Te-doms are the equavalent of a loud, barking dog who looks intimidating, but doesn´t actually bite when it counts.

Stop glazing people just because they speak loudly and use spreadsheets to organize their lack of actual, deep dive analytical thinking.

Thoughts? Or do I need to submit this argument in a standardized, peer reviewed PDF format for the Te-users to process it?

I’ve been thinking about the classic "debater" stereotype we always get in the MBTI community. The idea that ENTPs constantly have to talk, overshare, or "think out loud" just because we are Ne-doms is a massive misconception.

I realized that Ne itself is totally silent.

Jung defined Ne as a perceiving function. It scans the environment, spots patterns, and generates absurd or complex possibilities. For example, I was at the supermarket recently, saw some weird looking groceries, and instantly drafted a "horror food" movie concept in my head. Did I talk a stranger's ear off about it? No. Ne did its job of generating the idea and I was highly entertained by it just in my own head.

Ti makes us internally self-sufficient as we process our wild Ne ideas inward with Ti. We don't need an external audience to validate a thought or find it funny. Our internal logic and analysis process is a closed loop that works perfectly fine in silence.

Fe is our actual "Talk Button". I realized I only really talk when my Fe decides there's a reason to like a genuine urge to share, connect, with someone or simply to entertain. If there's no social urge from mylsef to share an idea, my mouth just stays shut. Ne doesn't have the urge to communicate, Fe does.

"Thinking out loud" is just external brainstorming. Sure, sometimes I talk to myself when brainstorming. But that doesn´t count as communication since I only talk to myself and think out loud instead of communicating with others.

TL;DR: If you don't relate to the "I literally can't stop talking" ADHD stereotype, you're not mistyped. You just use Ne for what it actually is, as a function for gathering, connecting concepts and collecting informations instead of a speaking button.

Has anyone else noticed that they are perfectly fine just running their Ne internally without constantly broadcasting it?