Hello, i’m here to genuinely ask opinions from everyone in this community!!
A year or so ago, i had a boyfriend who did not disclose to me he was trans. of course, no trans person should have to disclose their identity to everyone around them, but i fear my relationship wth them went to a level of breaching sexual consent.
for starters, i am someone who does not find the AFAB sex organs attractive. i couldn’t care less who has what parts, but in terms of sexual attraction, that’s not there for me.
during my relationship with this boy, things did get sexual. however, from the very beginning of our dating, i was explicitly told he was cisgender by him. he did not clarify he wasn’t until long after we had gotten sexual, and i didn’t notice because 9/10 times, i was the one receiving, and the only one taking my clothes off. we had multiple sessions of sexual activity until he finally told me he was trans. he also admitted to stuffing his pants to make it feel like he had a penis during cuddling and whatnot.
i can’t help but feel really really upset about what happened. i engaged in multiple sessions of sexual activity with my non-preferred sex, and i was told it was my preferred sex repeatedly.
i want to clarify that i am in full support of whatever identity people choose and i have no issue with trans people, but i feel like i consented to a lie with my ex bf and the fact it was a continuous cycle of presenting as AMAB to me that makes me feel this way.
I would appreciate any opinions on the situation from anybody, and feel free to ask questions if i was unclear!!