My boyfriend’s (M33) best friend (M27) is dating my boyfriend’s ex (F29) and is hosting an event. Bf wants me there for support. I don't want to be around this. How to navigate?
TLDR; My boyfriend’s (M33) best friend (M27) is dating my boyfriend’s ex (F29) and is hosting a birthday/christening. Boyfriend wants to go to be polite and wants me with him to support. I do not want to go as it's weird and uncomfortable. Advice on navigating this?
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My boyfriend’s (M33) best friend (M27) started dating my boyfriend’s ex (F29) about 8 months ago and the whole thing happened fast. Within about 3 months she had moved countries to live with him.
When it first happened, the friend (let's call him Kohk) was really apologetic to my bf and admitting guilt, but also said he really liked her (let's call her Veruca). My boyfriend basically said “yeah it’s weird, but I’m not going to stop you.”
Ever since then, their friendship has changed. They used to hang out constantly at Kohk's house, but now the Veruca lives there, so my boyfriend barely goes round. They can't talk about their personal lives like they used to etc etc.
I’ve always found the whole situation uncomfortable and it changed how I see Kohk. I’ve thankfully never really had to interact with the Veruca because I’m in a long distance relationship and don’t cross paths with her much. It's clear to me she's using him for his money (he has a history of women doing this as he falls hard and "provides" for them by pouring all his money into them, and isn't the sharpest tool in the toolbox) but he'll figure this out in time.
Now I’m visiting soon and the friend is having a combined birthday/christening event (he’s getting christened as an adult) and invited my bf and me (amongst other guests). My boyfriend wants to go to be polite because they’ve been friends for years, and his mum and stepdad are going too (I don't think they realise Kohk's gf is their son's ex).
But I really don’t want to go. The whole dynamic feels awkward and weird to me, and I don’t particularly want to spend an evening socialising with my boyfriend’s ex and the friend who dated her. But my partner wants me to go to be with him so he's not alone.
I want to politely sit this one out while my boyfriend goes alone, however I'm not sure if this is super selfish and immature from my end. Advice on how to navigate?