u/HappyStufff

Was diagnosed officially in January although I have had symptoms for about five years.

Last September had the worst flare of my life, so bad I was in tears every day and was bed / sofa bound and unable to wear any underwear for about two weeks.

I was put on Spiro in February, that same month had one single (but enormous) flare that ended up unexpectedly draining during the first week of my new job.

And since then ... nothing. Maybe a few tiny ones every other month.

My only regret is by the time I actually got to see a real dermatologist (it was a long wait on the NHS) I only had scars and pictures so show him because when my appointment rolled round I wasn't flaring at all. I really wanted to show how bad it could get to an actual dermatologist but only ever got to show dubious and doubtful GPs that would suggest STDs and eczema lol.

I started this role a few months ago. I left my previous role of ten years because I wanted to break in to HR. My previous role had very brief HR duties but was primarily admin and customer service based. So I did my Level 3 CIPD and landed an entry level role as a People Assistant.

I will admit I love how varied it is. There's so much to do and learn but the more I get to grips with everything, the more work people send my way. Everyone seems so incredibly busy all the time. I assist with recruitment, logging absences, and (I don't want to out myself) an industry-specific task that we have to legally comply with, which takes up one day a week with myself and a few other members working on this project.

Yet there's no one saying 'she is off site today working on X project, send this task to someone else' ... I just log in the next morning to a billion emails.

For the first time in my life I am considering logging in on my day off or during the evening just to clear some tasks. I am very anxious in the evenings and weekends. I work compressed hours, four days a week, due to childcare restraints, so I feel I don't have enough days in a week to really chip away at stuff. Also I am on annual leave for half term and I should be enjoying the time with my family but I'm already thinking about the work that's gonna pile up. I can't do five days a week because I can't stretch my finances to the extra day of childcare but when my daughter starts school in September I'll be back to Mon to Fri.

My manager sat with me and we made a to do list to prioritise. She said for a certain task, to put myself on DND and block out a few hours to chip away at it. And I did this and then checked my email and saw id been given another project with a deadline of the 1st of June ... Bear in mind I'm off site on Tuesday for aforementioned project, and I'm on annual leave from the 22nd and return on the 2nd.

I love this job and I am so so excited to be here and finally kick start my career in HR but I've only been here a few months and fear I can't keep up. I tried expressing my concern over my snowballing workload and falling behind and I was told to 'just do what I can'.

I have written my own to-do list and ordered it by priority but every time I finish the list I just return to a buttload of more work and even as I work through the list I am being asked to break away from whatever I'm working on to knock out a different task. And about half an hour before I leave for the day I go through my emails and write a to-do list for the following day which makes me feel better a little.

I will admit when I first started I was very eager to learn and to please so made an effort to ask people if there's anything they could train me on so I could take work off their plates and now I'm wondering if everyone is now taking that literally and sending everything my way so they can work on other stuff. Which is generally the idea of my role but it is six odd members of staff each offloading to me plus external stakeholders pelting me with emails and Teams messages every day. I've never experienced the sunday scaries till I started here.

I just needed to vent. I'm not sure if I'm simply still finding my feet or if this isn't the best role for me. Which I would be sad to admit as it was exactly what I was looking for with brilliant pay and progression opportunities but I think I'm just gonna fail.

I started a new job a few months ago.

I love the role but my only gripe is probably the training that was mostly over Teams via screen sharing because everyone is hybrid and works remote on different days.

My manager while overall nice and easy to work with, would often give me a task and check in every half hour with a message like 'how are you getting on with X task' and one time she even said 'I did expect this to be done by now so is there anything you need support with'. Said task at the time took me a while because I didn't know where to find specific information for it. I mean I knew on which software to look for the info, but said software has about twenty menus so instead of asking which menu to find X info on, I took the initiative to find it myself.

Anyway this one time my manager was working at an event and I was in the office and she asked me to complete a task. I got the task done and two hours later I realised I hadn't told her it was complete. I was worried she would think it took me longer than it actually did to complete so I sent an email saying 'hey I completed this task a few hours ago'. I was absolutely mortified when she replied with 'I appreciate this was completed a few hours ago but I have been working off site all day, I have just got back and have only just begun catching up on emails'

I honestly didn't think it'd come across as 'hi boss I finished this task hours ago why haven't you taken a look yet' but in hindsight I can now see how it came across that way. As soon as she replied I sent her a message on Teams apologising for coming across as rude and that my email was misinterpreted. I explained I just didn't want her to think it took me hours to finish the task. She said it was fine. And when she was in the office I apologised again in person and she said it's ok and that she'd had a long day and then came home to my email so her reply was a bit curt and short.

I still think about it, months later, and cringe so much. It's one thing to be accidentally rude in person but that email I sent is immortalised forever.

My daughter is 4 and she was in desperate need of new trainers because her older pair were looking very sorry for themselves.

I used one of those board foot measuring things in Next and she measured just between size 10 and size 11, maybe a little bit over size 10.5.

And she is very particular about her shoes, we let her choose because if you get a pair without consulting her then she won't wear them lol. So I let her pick her favourite pair and they only had a size 11. She tried them on and I felt maybe a 3cm - 5cm gap between her toes and the end of the trainer but she could walk fine in them.

The thing is a size 10 would be too small and they didn't have half sizes but I'm wondering if I should've gone to a shop that offered half sizes or if it is safe to let her wear the size 11s. She walks fine in them and they don't fall off her feet.

We are FTB. We've had a mortgage application accepted, have had the agreement in principle, happy with the quote. Instructed solicitors, they've exchanged contracts with the seller's solicitors. No chain, we are buying the house we are renting.

For years I have been putting all miscellaneous spending on a credit card and paying the entire amount off on payday. It's never more than £250 a month on things like days out, clothes, you know miscellaneous spend after all bills are paid. I never just pay the minimum, e.g. if I spent £180 one month then on payday I will pay off the full £180 and my balance resets to 0.

But once I've paid it off in full, does making a new purchase the following month count as a new line of credit? Thus not a good idea during an application? I'm not talking £1000s of pounds, I set my own limit on it if £250. For example my partner's birthday is coming up and everything I want to buy him totals to £175. Which I will pay off in full on payday at EOM.

Is this ok - lender (Halifax) asked for three month's bank statements so they will see that I spend X amount on credit and pay it off in full every month. I declared my miscellaneous outgoings to be no more than £250 when we submitted our application and they accepted this.

We made and had our application accepted in March so I have done this for two months now - e.g. March I spent X amount and paid all of it off at the end of March, did the same in April and will do the same this month.

So if I pay off the credit card and then spend on it again, does spending on it after paying it off count as a new line of credit? I am never late in paying, have never missed a payment.

This is my first new job in ten years. I previously worked an admin role. I studied for my Level 3 CIPD and landed an entry level role in HR and started in February. The role basically consists of assisting all HR departments, e.g. logging absences, processing resignations, recruitment and onboarding. I also (I don't want to say too much for fear of being identified easily) have to liaise with stakeholders and update data / documents etc.

I didn't realise this would be a very much hit the ground running role. They knew I was new to HR and the industry in which I work. Training is mostly via teams screen sharing because everyone works hybrid on different days. And I've watched a lot of how-to videos. I've made my own how-to bible full of my notes on how to do every task but it grows bigger every day. And this was my own choice as there's no other written guidance.

So where I am struggling. The workload! I am being sent so many emails asking me to log this absence and process this leaver and process this ID check. All the whole expected to monitor the recruitment and onboarding dashboard and woe betide me if I don't post a vacancy in record time.

Today as an example of where I am struggling, wherein I feel there's rarely anyone around to help...

Last week I was asked to add X data on a live spreadsheet. My co-worker showed me how to do it, all straightforward, all done. Today in the teams group chat the manager asked if it had been done and I said yes, and he said what about Y and Z data? I said I only added X data. Coworker said she added Y but that someone else was meant to add Z. The manager asked me to add Z and I said ok, can someone show me how to do that please? And he said ask (person) but they're off site and not responding, so he told me to ask this other person but they were in back to back meetings all day. He then said he was disappointed this hasn't been done and it needs doing by 4. And this is an example of where I'm struggling, being expected to know how to do things I haven't been shown and not having anyone available to show me how to do a time sensitive task.

Another example, I overheard coworkers talking about how I am meant to be taking over a certain task so to ask me, and I had to interject and say not yet, I've been shown how to do it once but need further guidance and support, and they seemed taken aback and said they were sure it was my job. I know I can do it but basically was just told 'you'll be doing this eventually ' and I've been waiting for further instruction.

I've also been added on to a project that requires a lot of off site visits. A project that I am not trained on or not confident in doing myself so I am just shadowing people but this takes a lot of time away from my other tasks so I return to a mountain of work.

Today as an adult woman I sat in the staff toilets and cried. Because I don't feel capable for this workload, at least not yet. But I don't know how to bring it up without looking incapable to do the role. Realistically id like more time to take on these new tasks . And for people to stop throwing new stuff at me all the time. I mean I expected to be doing a lot but not so soon, and I feel there's rarely anyone around regularly to help me.

I was so excited to work in HR but I'm wondering if it's the industry that I am not getting to grips with. There's about five or six different softwares and systems for me to get my head around.

But yeah I don't know how to bring this up to my manager without them beginning to consider dismissal. My mental health has taken such a dive, I haven't felt this way about a job since when I worked in an awful call centre over ten years ago. I knew my last role like the back of my hand and I think maybe I'm just not capable to work here or do a good enough job if I'm being honest but I don't know what to do about it without disappointing everyone.

Started a new dream role in February. Pay rise, brilliant benefits, pay and career progression, lovely co-workers, hybrid. Everything I wanted in the industry I've always wanted to work in. It's my first new job in a while, was at my old job for ten in years.

I am struggling with how much there is to learn. Training isn't great, a lot of it is via screen sharing or me referring to my hastily written notes. There is so much to do, which I like as my last role was very quiet, but I am being pulled in all directions and am dropping the ball a bit if I'm honest. My mental health has taken a dive because I'm so anxious all the time, anxious about messing up, anxious that they might think I lied in my job interview, anxious that they expect so much more of me. It's been three months and I'm still not settled and today I broke down because I fear I am not good enough. I have hit the ground running here with no time to stop.

I am hoping in time I will look back and wonder what I was so worried about and that it'll all come to me eventually. Because I know I can do it but I just can't do it right now.

Please hit me with stories of how awful your time was as the New Employee and how it all worked out eventually 😭

I've been in my role since February.

Before that I did an administrative/customer service role for ten years. But my pay and skills stagnated massively. So I studied for a qualification to get my foot in the door if the industry I've always wanted to work in. And I did this while working full time with a kid so I've come a long way.

I landed the role and was told I was picked out of 70 odd applicants.

I love the work and everyone is so nice but my mental health has taken such a dive at this transition. Like I'm back in therapy and having mild panic attacks at my desk in secret because there is SO MUCH to learn and the training is so-so. But everyone is so busy I feel guilty asking questions.

I just had my first not positive one to one (have them with my manager every week). Every other meeting has been surprisingly positive but today was not great because it turns out I was prioritising the wrong tasks and leaving my team mates to do most of a specific task. And I did ask ok so do you want me to prioritise this task then? And my manager said it's up to me how I prioritise tasks. But you just told me I'm prioritising in the wrong order ...?

Anyway. I'm working so hard to learn and making so many notes and my own personal project is making a digital document as a how-to bible for everything I have to learn because there isn't anything like that currently. But I keep missing details and my attention to detail is being brought up and to be honest it's not the first time ive heard that in my working life about myself.

I have -0 confidence in myself to do a good job here and I don't know why. I am a ball of anxiety and desperate to just sort my head out and stop being silly, I'm a grown woman FFS, I should be able to handle this but I am not. All I want to do is go home and be with my family and watch tv under a duvet. you know when you're a kid at school and you fake being sick just because you wanted to go home and be with your mum? I have that. except I'm not going to pull a sicky, I just think about doing it a lot. And no shade to retail workers (I have worked retail before) but I am frequently looking up if my local superstore is hiring so I can just stack shelves all day and clock our and go home and not worry. because my anxiety around my performance and capability is eating into my weekends off.

So my question is ... I'm sure it varies per person but ... How do you decide if it's genuinely not a good fit or if you're getting in your head about your capability for the role?