r/BeyondTheBumpUK

I’m preparing for baby’s arrival next month. We’re planning to combi feed after seeing a few friends doing this successfully, and I want to buy some things to make life as easy as possible for the formula feeding part of that. I was originally thinking to get the Tommee Tippee bundle with the perfect prep pro machine and the steriliser - both of which seem well regarded online.

But then I saw the Amazon reviews for the prep pro machine are 2.5 stars (but reviews sites are good?) I also then came across the baby brezza wash, sterilise and dry machine which seems much better than just the TT steriliser, but is a lot more expensive and my husband (who is cleaning obsessed) said he will be fine to keep on top of bottle washing and we can get a special bottle brush etc. I have to say, I hadn’t realised until recently that a steriliser doesn’t also wash the bottle and these are each separate steps (baby isn’t here yet and so we’ve never prepared bottles before so just learning the ropes now!)

Price aside, what did you actually find useful in terms of bottle prep, and washing / sterilising? We would buy a thermometer to check temperature from the prep machine.

I know there are very mixed views generally on prep and sterilising machines as some people say it’s easy enough to do it yourself etc, but I do like the sound of both so I more want to understand, from those who do use such machines, what you like. We’re moving house in Jan and will have a lot more kitchen space so space isn’t a problem (and we will just manage until then).

Thanks in advance!

We've started taking our 18m to play parks now he is more confidently walking (he was a late walker).

I am amazed by the behaviour of some of the older kids that their parents just let them away with. Like they see this tiny toddler making their way towards a swing or something else, and the older kid just runs and sometimes pushes past them to get their first, then leave it once they see the toddler moving away.

I get it's not necessarily the kid's fault (though the ones aged 7+ I'd say should know better) but it's the parents who say and do nothing about this behaviour I find baffling. I did actually call one mother out for her daughter getting on a swing and immediately going to use it whenever she saw our toddler walking right behind it! It was very deliberate and I said to the Mum, who of course was on her phone, that it was dangerous behaviour and he could have been badly hurt there. She just shrugged and said "She's just having fun!"

Am I being unreasonable here?

Other than your obvious corners and drawers/doors stoppers, what was something your baby/toddler surprised you by doing? Show me your most unhinged baby proofing mechanisms

I am in a same sex relationship and we had a baby boy in March and although I do love him - I really wasn’t ready. My mother passed away just before I decided to do IVF and I spent her inheritance money for IVF. I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing. I felt like everything I done was rushed and now he is here I have realized I am not ready for motherhood and I am not ready to be a mother.

I should be grateful that it worked on our first try but I’m just filled with dread and regret that I didn’t listen to others when they asked me if I was sure I was making the right decision. I should’ve thought carefully about if this is what I really wanted.

I feel sick to my stomach every day and I just want to die because I can’t look after him, I can’t even look after myself.
I’m in no position financially and I have only been able to keep part time jobs my whole life.

I think about killing myself every day because I can’t live with the guilt and shame. I should be happy I’ve got a lovely little boy but I’m not. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves a mother who wants him.

Possible trigger warning - grief and depression

I’m dealing with a lot right now even though it’s been a month since it happened. Possible PTSD from a traumatic event and extreme grief.

Everyone around me is super concerned and I do have some concerning thoughts because I am incredibly depressed. My thoughts are very existential and honestly just messed up. I have a history of mental health problems anyway but this is a whole new level.

I can’t speak to anyone I know about what I’m thinking because when I’ve mentioned things, they are literally mortified. So I’ve realised my thoughts are only to be shared with a mental health professional because I think they’re more equipped, whereas my partner kinda just freaks out and I think it’s too much for him.

I’m in my second trimester, nearly in the third, but I am extremely terrified about what postpartum is going to look like for me. Especially with bonding and caring for my baby.

I’d like to preface I am getting therapy, it starts tomorrow so I’m hoping this might help me a little. But I want experiences from people who have truly been through similar ish things and how it worked out for them. Most people just say to me ‘just wait till the baby is here’ ‘everything will change’ like her being born is supposed to magically fix all of this. But firstly that feels like a lot of pressure/expectation to put on a newborn and secondly I can’t imagine postpartum hormones are going to be that forgiving. If I’m feeling as I do now, I can only imagine postpartum hormones will make these feelings 10x worse.

So please if you have experience with trauma/grief during pregnancy, how did it go for you? What’s your relationship like with your baby, how are you coping? What are some things you did to help you cope?

Since our baby boy was born 5 months ago we decided as he was exclusively breastfed that I’d do all the nights and my partner would take over all cooking/cleaning the house so I could nap whenever the baby napped. This worked great when he was newborn but 5 months in and yet again we finished dinner after putting the baby to bed and I’m falling asleep on the sofa while my partner is finding a film for us to watch. I’ve got no problem doing the nights but I feel so guilty that we don’t spend any or very minimal quality time together anymore because I just can’t stay awake past 8pm or so. The baby was a great sleeper til he hit 4 months and now I get barely 3/4 hours a night.

UK guidance states you need to boil water to kill the bacteria in the formula. I’ve been doing this for almost a year and my baby is about to turn a year soon.

I use Kendamil, and I just wanted to ask if anyone stopped boiling the water once their baby reached 1, or before, or even after?

I also used a pitcher to make the formula but at almost a year it’s becoming tedious now with the extra cleaning and sterilising!

My 6 month old exclusively contact naps. I’ve tried unsuccessfully to get him to nap in his crib for months but it never worked. He does sleep in his crib at night but refuses to do so for naps.

He used to sleep in his pram when he was younger, but he hasn’t done it since he turned 4 months. He also doesn’t sleep in the car seat or the baby carrier.

I’m taking him on holiday soon for a couple of days and I’m worried about how I’m going to manage naps. Does anyone have advice? Do i just need to schedule outings around naps and go back to the hotel for naps?

Our 7.5 week old suddenly started rolling on his side so we realised we needed to stop swaddling and move onto sleep bags and oh my god, I didn’t realise it would make me so sad lol! Husband is fast asleep and I’m still up staring at him wondering where the teeny tiny newborn we brought home in August went. This does not bode well for me avoiding tears at every milestone…

On the plus side at least he’s sleeping okay in his new get up.

I know the internet is FULL of baby led weaning recipes. But I somehow still find it overwhelming and don’t know what to make?! Until now I’ve been mostly spoon feeding and have been able to get lots of vegetables and meat and a good variety of food into my baby. Since turning 9 month he’s much more interested in finger foods. What normal every day foods are people giving their babies? Don’t say “they can just eat what you eat” as somehow that doesn’t seem to help me, weird I know lol

Do I have to dedicate my life to making vegetable fritters, pastry pinwheels and egg muffins, like the mums on Instagram? Does this actually work and is it worth the time? I’d really appreciate some practical, every day advice. I loved making purées as I was able to batch cook these, freeze, and cook quickly in the microwave. I’m now a bit nervous that this next stage is going to require more time.

Some regular advice welcome please!