r/BeyondTheBumpUK

My baby is two weeks old and I’d originally hoped to avoid using a dummy. Before giving birth, I had it in my head that they were “bad,” but I’m now realising I don’t really know why!

She’s been very unsettled during the evening witching hour, and a dummy seems to be the only thing that settles her, so we’ve given in and started using one.

What are other mums’ experiences and views? Are there any genuine downsides, for example impacting sleep, especially when using one this young?

TIA!!

Hi all, is a bit of a long one so sorry in advance. my LO is about to turn 7 months and my MIL has started to take her out the house for a few hours 2x a week. This is something I didnt/ don’t feel ready for but my husband and MIL told me it needs to happen sooner or later otherwise she’s going to get anxiety around having other people take care of her in future. She has been dropping hints constantly the past few months about when it’s going to be time to have her and how shes dropped her hours off work and now she’s getting paid less for no reason. Mind you there was no prior discussion about her having my child on certain days of the week/ her dropping hours from work. So there’s been a bunch of pressure for this to happen from her end. However, my LO is developing some separation anxiety and she has started to get upset everytime she goes out with her and leaves me. She cries as soon as she’s out my arms and leaves the house and as I close the door I cry just as much seeing her this way. I can’t seem to see a benefit for anyone in the situation apart from my MIL getting what she wants out of this scenario. Also, most times when she comes back my LO’s eyes are red as though she’s been crying again. My MIL says she doesn’t cry whilst they’re out and only cries in the car on the way home and that is why her eyes are red when she brings her back (my LO has never cried a single time when she’s in the car with me) I think she’s only saying it is the car making her upset so that so that I don’t put a pause of her taking her out if I’m being honest. I’ve tried to ask if I can tag along on the trips out but she either changes the subject or makes me seem like I’m overreacting saying “it’s only a few hours she will be fine.”, it’s like she wants her all to herself and doesn’t want to include me. As soon as my LO comes back home she will burst into tears crying because she’s been away from me. It’s worth mentioning my LO has never been one to cr. I guess I’m asking for advice because I’m always battling on what I should do? Do I take a pause on her having trips out and face the wrath from my MIL? My husband and MIL think she just needs to “get used to it” but I’m not sure how that works for a 7 month olds mind? I’m a FTM so I don’t know if this is all normal behaviour. My heart tells me I just want her at home with me all the time right now, but ultimately I just want what’s best for baby. Any advice on how to go about this all for the best interest of my LO? Am I overreacting? it’s making me so upset and I feel so pressured. TIA

I want to preface this by saying I love my partner, he’s amazing and a wonderful dad.

Can men just not? Please 🙏🏻

Our LO is 14 weeks today, it’s been a rough journey as I have severe PPD that hospitalised me 8 days PP because of SI, PTSD from her birth, and a condition which means I cannot BF.

My partner WFH 07:00 - 15:00, and mostly sleeps in the other room when we’re not in a heatwave (we have aircon in our room). I do all the night feeds Sun-Thursday, and we split Fri & Sat.

I find parenting difficult because I‘m an 8-9 hours a night kinda person, but our daughter has a low sleep need. she still wakes a lot during the night, sometimes for feeding and sometimes for comfort.

Usually, when my partner finishes work, he will take an hour to himself, and then we both parent for the evening until she goes to bed around 9-10pm and then she’s mine for the night. Most nights, my partner will want to go out for a walk on his own for an hour or two, or have a long bath, or game for the evening on his own. So most evenings, it’s me on my own.

Over the past 34 weeks, I’ve slept through 1 night, and that’s because I was medicated when I went to A&E as I hadn’t slept in over 24hrs.

I’ve noticed more and more recently, I can solo parent for 24-48 hours alone before I get a break to myself. I don’t get to shower until she goes down for her first nap around 9:30-10ish. Though sometimes I can just put her in her bouncer and take her into the bathroom with me.

This evening, I asked for a couple of hours to myself so I could sort something out. That’s usually the way of my alone time is sorting stuff, pumping, sterilising bottles/dummies, cleaning etc.

He took over from me at 7pm, baring in mind, he slept in the other room last night. He was complaining that he was tired so could only give me an hour (I took 2 anyway because fugg it!). I told him she needed a bath tonight as we bathe her every other night. I went downstairs just after 9, he’s sat in the dark, she’s asleep on her play mat just in her vest from today, and he’s told me she’s not had a bath.

We have a changing station downstairs which has a built in bath underneath the mat. When I bathed her the other day, I asked him to empty it out for me but he forgot and so did I. So when he came to bathe her this evening, the water is still in it. He’s made a big thing about having to clean it out so he didn’t bathe her this evening. But he’s not put her in a sleep suit or done anything else either and he’s complaining about how stressed he is.

I’ve just spent the last couple of hours organising and cleaning/tidying and now have a night shift in front of me. but he’s going to wake up tomorrow saying he’s tired.

Any time I bring up how tired I am, that I’m struggling or that I’m sore/still not fully recovered from 42weeks of pregnancy, a 17 hour labour and a cat b c section, he says “it’s not a competition”

I love him to pieces but please, give me a fucking break!

Thank you!

How old was baby the first time you left them and for how long?

At 3 months I’m getting my very long usually very styled hair done and I’ll be gone 6 hours including travel! In contrast a friend went back to work at 4 months leaving for 8 hours on weekdays.

Just interested!

Edit: we are combi feeding and friend was formula

My baby is 6 months old and hates all forms of restriction (pram, car seat, high chair). The only thing she tolerates is the carrier - and now I wear her forward facing, is probably the only time she’s fully content. I’ve been enjoying long 1 hour+ walks with her - but only just seen she should be in it max 15-30 mins due to muscle restriction and overstimulation.

I’m panicking I’ve done damage here … but it’s truly the only easy way to get her around. If I continue doing longer than 30 mins, how bad is it?

My little boy has always been a HUGE eater. I kept reading that this was normal for around 9 months as they get used to eating solids and are growing so fast at that point. He was definitely a mega chubby baby at that age, but now he's stretched out and has gone back to looking long and lean, albeit in the 97% percentile for weight. He's not shown any signs of slowing down on the food yet...

I often find he eats all his meal and still seems hungry. We've dropped his afternoon bottle recently so even with an extra big snack he's still more hungry by dinner.

I have some options for extra quick things to fill him up but today I got through everything and drew a blank by the end of the day! For context, this was what he ate today:

- 4 homemade strawberry oat bars (about a man's finger length each)

- a handful of blueberries

- an oatcake with cream cheese

- a small slice of buttered seeded sourdough toast and most of a boiled egg

- one of those 70ml IKEA pots full of cottage cheese, chia seeds and whole milk

- several pieces of broccoli

- more toast

- a handful of cherry tomatoes

- some chunks of roast chicken

- Seafood poke bowl: 5 king prawns, couple of pieces of tuna steak, cucumber strips, 2 asparagus spears, mango, avocado, sticky rice and sesame seeds

- a defrosted sweet potato cake made with cheese, tuna and breadcrumbs

- a whole plum and 5 cherries

- a few bites more toast

- 200ml whole milk

I'm not even kidding, he genuinely ate all of this. What I need are more ideas for snacks to fill him up between/at the end of meals that I can grab quickly - I feel like he needs more carbs with healthy fats but having trouble thinking of anything that's not toast, breadsticks or oat cakes.

My baby girl is only 9 weeks old but I am already questioning whether I will go back to work or not.

I am in a unique situation where my husband has his own company and is very successful and where I have a fairly low to average paying job (£33,000 in London).

Before having the baby I was quite adamant to go back but now I am not so sure. Nursery would cost the same as my take-home pay, we don't get any free hours to start with (I wouldn't be fully responsible and my husband would share the cost). And I wonder, why work so I can pay someone else to take care of my baby? I won't be sure that they are caring for her as well as I am.

My husband is happy for me to stay at home. Would I be crazy to go to work when my salary has almost no impact on the family?

Obviously returning to work has some big advantages:

- I won't need to repay my maternity pay

- I get to keep a life outside the house

- I get to keep my career going

Disadvantages:

- high childcare costs

- uncertainty over level of care provided

- missing out on baby growing up

- difficulty managing household chores

Please help!! I am literally at my wits end, my 5 month old has always been a bad night sleeper, I’ve not had more than 2 hours in one stint since she was born (completely different to my first). Initially she was being swaddled and she would sleep for 1-1.5 hours before waking to be fed (EBF), then it got hot so we stopped swaddling, and she was up every 45 minutes. We have tried putting her in the Purflo, the Rockit Zed, white noise, putting her down on her side and rolling her to her back, breastmilk on a muslin next to her, she will not sleep in her cot and it’s killing me. I always end up co sleeping but I don’t want to because I can’t sleep then, I’m so worried about my husband somehow rolling onto her (she’s on my side) and a previous shoulder injury just gives me such pain when she’s in the bed. Her cot is an extension to our bed so there’s no bridge between the mattresses. PLEASE someone help! What on earth can I do? I have chronic dry eyes because of the lack of sleep and have also been struck with a bad case of tonsillitis too. I just need to get some sleep and need her to sleep at night. During the day she sleeps quite well, either in the pushchair or in the car or the carrier, but the nights are horrendous and I’m literally at breaking point. She’d probably sleep on a pillow but I know that’s not safe sleep, it’s almost like she’s not cosy enough in the cot because it’s so bare 😖 please please any and all suggestions welcomed!

I have extreme rage right now.

It’s the third night on the trot I’ve had no sleep with my 6 week old colicky baby. Partner went to work last week, works in a small office.

He has been getting 6-7 hours straight of sleep, will be snoring next to me, if he does get disturbed he goes straight back to sleep. Yet coming home and complaining how tired he is.

I snapped and said it’s irritating to hear when I feel like I have the flu I’m so sleep deprived. He then said it’s not a competition, he’s at work not relaxing and he’s tired too.

I waited all day for him to come back from work so I could nap as I felt physically unwell, I slept from 6-8pm before I woke up to him snapping at the baby to stop crying.

It’s currently 4am, and I forced him awake because I couldn’t cope with the screaming and being so tired. His solution was to put the screaming baby in between us in bed to calm him down. His attempts to help me at night and in the morning are so half assed I just end up doing it myself.

I’m just infuriated. I’m covered in sweat and breast milk. I have heat rash all over my neck and chest from baby sleeping on me in the heat. My back is in pain still from my epidural. My boobs are leaking all over the bed because I’ve run out of breast pads. But he’s tired too.

Planning ahead- where do you put a bigger baby safely? And do they always nap upstairs?

Does anyone have recommendations for the easiest baby shoes to get on? My 14 month old is walking everywhere and I’ve got her a couple of pairs of trainers from Next but they’re SO hard to get on. I was looking at those duckies ones but heard that they’re actually not good for baby feet and also that they drop ship from China and up the prices. I also ordered some from Clark’s but the customer service was terrible and by the time they arrived she had already outgrown them 😅

I’m sorry if this isn’t allowed.
Can anybody help me with a gift card or anything, so I can buy my son a present for his birthday Friday.
I am in an abusive relationship but am in the process of coming up with a plan to leave.
My partner takes all my money but he is away until Monday. He’s left me with nothing knowing I need to get my son a present and a card.

Expecting twins in November and I enrolled them into the same nursery that my two girls already attend and have done since 10 months. I also used to work there so I trust them fully and never had a single complaint.
However, I’m unsure if it’s sensible to have 4 children in a term only nursery. My twins are October born and therefore won’t start school until almost 5. They’ll turn 3 this year so that means all 4 would be in the same nursery for an entire year.

Pros:
- One drop off and pick up
- Love the nursery

Cons:
- Babies and toddlers are not in separate rooms so maybe it’ll be a bit much for all 4 to be together 24/7?
- How on earth will I do the school holidays?!

I found another nursery I like but the uncertainty is quite anxiety inducing. It’s a nice nursery and would be on my way to work as well. I’d keep my older daughters in their current nursery no matter what though as I don’t want to uproot them so shortly before starting reception.

Thoughts? 🥲

Hi all. Just for context - I am one week PP. I had an emergency C section after a failed induction. We stayed in hospital day 1-4 because they thought I had an infection but it was nothing. I am exclusively BF.

I’m just really not enjoying it and not enjoying waking up and not being able to lift my baby up and just feel absolutely useless. I don’t enjoy breastfeeding but at other times I don’t mind it and it’s nice to have one on one time with baby girl. Sometimes she will sit on my breast for 30 mins, put her down and she starts crying and all I think is ‘oh not again’.. I honestly am considering stopping breastfeeding and switching to formula feeding.

Also my husband sleeps with the next2me on his side of the bed as I can’t lift her up or get out of bed if it’s next to me. However, he falls into a very deep sleep and won’t get up with baby if she’s crying and I have to tap him really hard for him to get up. I’m lucky that I have my mum staying with me atm, so she is so fed helpful. But she is going home after a couple of days and my husband starts work again in one week - and I don’t know how i’m going to cope.

Im so confused how to feel and am constantly crying and I already feel so done

Hi everyone,

I am a first-time mom to a sweet 2-week-old baby girl I live in the UK and her newborn screening test, her bloodwork came back with high TSH (71.2) and low FT4 (9.1). We were immediately referred to the pediatric hospital and she just started her daily liquid levothyroxine medication.

As a new mom, I am feeling extremely anxious, overwhelmed, and worried about her cognitive and physical development. The doctors told us that catching it this early (at 2 weeks) means she should grow up completely fine, but I really need to hear real-life reassurance right now. They say among all the scary things in the blood test screening , this is the easiest for them.

What frightens me the most right now is not having the absolute certainty that the treatment will work and that she will develop completely normally.

I would love to hear from parents of older kids who were diagnosed at birth, or adults who grew up with congenital hypothyroidism:
How are your kids doing now with school, sports, and life in general?

Did early treatment give them a completely normal life?

Please send us some hope and good energy.
Thank you so much from a very worried mom. ❤️

What do you use to document your little one milestones, firsts and all funny moments?

I just realised that I'm starting to forget all those precious moments