r/BeyondTheBumpUK

Hi everyone! 👋
I’m expecting my first baby in the first week of September and I’m starting to wonder whether I actually have everything I need.

I’ve already collected quite a few bits from the Emma’s Diary packs, Boots Baby Club freebies, and other welcome/gift packs, so I do have some essentials already.

I’d really appreciate some advice from experienced parents!
\- How many newborn/0–1 month onesies or bodysuits did you actually use?
\- How many sleepsuits, hats, mittens, socks, etc. would you recommend buying before baby arrives?
\- What size and brand of bottles would you suggest for a newborn? How many bottles did you start with?
\- Did you buy formula before birth just in case, or wait until after the baby was born?
\- Roughly how many newborn nappies should I have stocked up before delivery?
\- Are there any baby essentials that people often forget but end up using loads?

I’d also love to know about essentials for **me**—things that were genuinely useful for your hospital bag, postpartum recovery, or those first few weeks at home. Any practical buys that made life easier?

I’m wondering if I should be panicking and doing a big shopping trip, or if it’s normal to just buy more once the baby arrives if needed!
Any tips, recommendations, or “I wish I’d known this before” advice would be hugely appreciated. Thank you! ❤️

My 15 week old baby has started to become more challenging to parent, not less. Through the newborn phase I was looking forward to the 12 weeks point when I understood we would have cleared the first big hurdle.

But he now sleeps less well, and is also much more difficult to handle when awake. I used to put him on the mat and he’d be happy mostly until time for nap, when he’d scream but then go down. Now he practices rolling and belly crawling but gets frustrated really quickly and grizzles throughout every wake window. Attempts to cycle through entertainment and soothing are exhausting and only work for a short time. He has even started rejecting carrier walks which used to interest and lull him. He ends up in floods of tears when a minor frustration will escalate fast. Then he will cry until the wake window ends. Yesterday my partner was napping him, and he was crying so hard I thought he would vomit.

Is it normal for it to get so hard at this point? He is eating ok.

I started 3w ago, slowly, with purees. Mostly veggies, banana, mangos, avocados, today tried scrambled eggs.

She loves licking and biting the spoon. And playing and putting the strips of veggies in her mouth but gagging and spitting it out.

Is this normal?

She did have banana poo at the start once but that was it.

How can I know if she's eating or I'm doing it right?

My LO is 3.5 weeks old and he is SO noisy on a night I can’t get any sleep.

He thrashes, wiggles, squeaks, grunts and just generally makes a lot of noise in his next to me. He’s happily asleep while he does this. It’s the majority of the night. He’s already waking to be fed every 2-3 hours so on top of that I’m really running on empty. It seems to have gotten worse the past few nights.

If he’s asleep on me, he’s silent but I really do not want to co-sleep as it terrifies me.

I have white noise on and I listen to an audiobook to try and drown out the sounds but they are so loud.

Is it trapped wind? I burp him as best as I can before he goes down and hold him upright for a while after his last feed.

My older son was like this as well, but he’s 7 now so I can’t remember when it resolved. Any tips or can anyone tell me how long this lasts as I am exhausted!

Hello! I was gifted a whole bunch of Millie moon diapers, but I’m nervous to use them because I’ve seen a bunch of discourse regarding chemical burns. I see that there’s no recall so should I be OK to use them? Is it just a case by case basis on what works best for your child?

My baby is three months old and has pretty much outgrown next to me crib and it is starting to be a little crooked. I’m not happy about it as she tipped to one side and it just does not seem sleep Safe anymore.
We are keeping her in our bedroom with us ideally up to one year as per the NHS guidelines.
She has a big cot in her nursery, which is much too large to move in with us.
Please help me as to what you put your big babies in when they have outgrown they’re next to me but not ready for the nursery yet.

My baby occasionally gets tummy troubles and the past few days in at least one nappy I have noticed little streaks of fresh blood in his nappy, not enough to cause a lot of concern but enough for me to be taking him to the doctors.

I will be ringing the gp in the morning but I want to know what they’ll do. My son is 11 weeks old and is exclusively breastfed.

Will they jump straight to getting me to change my diet or will they actually do tests before that? Because I wouldn’t necessarily know that that would be the fix until a few weeks.

Hi, I wrote this post on another group for Sweden and im curious what your perspective of this is. Im a first time mum, so have no reference point. What would you expect someone 3 weeks post partum to do?
—-/

Hi, I would like to gain some insight into cultural differences here vs the uk where I’m from.

I wondered about the views on postpartum here. How soon after having a baby would you expect a month er to be comfortable going to family gatherings and parties especially after a difficult birth?

I was also wondering how you feel about someone who’s very introverted. My mother in law is extremely extroverted and loves to be the centre of attention. I’ve suffered an eating disorder for years which she knows about, she hasn’t ever asked me how I am, in fact she’s told my husband she doesn’t really understand why I have a problem and she photographs everything, in such excessive amounts that she upsets people and I try to avoid seeing them because I don’t want to be photographed. That’s just the very basic level of it, but they’ve made a few nasty comments about me etc over the years and have clearly had an issue because I’m not like them. And because I don’t like to see them much because of it, my husband says I’m difficult and most other people here would just accept their behavior and wouldn’t e difficult. He says that it’s normal in Sweden. The latest example is I’m 3 weeks post partum and him and non of his family seemed to understand that I didn’t feel comfortable and was in too much pain to attend a party, and on top of that our baby was also having some feeding struggles.

Is it true that by Swedish standards I’m being difficult? Because in the uk I don’t think anyone would expect a 3 week post partum women to attend a party. My mother in law also asked my husband in Swedish if she could take the baby when she was visiting us, she had already been holding the baby for an hour and then he was sleeping on my shoulder. Instead of asking me if she could hold him she asked my husband who said yes and then she came over and took my sleeping baby off my shoulder without even asking me.

Is this normal Swedish behaviour?

Hi! First time dad with a two week old who has nappy rash which won’t go away and it looks really sore.

We’re cleaning with organic cotton wool and water every time she goes, allowing to dry and then applying a thin layer of weleda before putting a nappy back on (using kit and kin).

She’s well fed (breast milk) and I think part of the problem is that she poos once every 1-2 hours so it feels like we’re fighting a losing battle.

We’ll speak to the GP but wondered if anyone had experienced this and if so if that had any tips.

My daughter is nearly 22 months. She has always been low sleep needs and over her short life, I’ve regularly torn my hair out trying to get her to sleep. She is currently still napping once a day (she dropped to one nap at around 11 or 12 months I think). The last few weeks, it’s gotten harder and harder to get her to nap, meaning we often then have to cut her nap short (sometimes only 25 mins). We have been struggling to get her to bed at night and have pushed back her bedtime but she’s still faffing around and refusing sleep, sometimes for an hour or more. Is it time to drop the final nap? Online it says that the recommended is after 3 but I can’t keep losing so much time to bedtime, especially as I also have a younger child. Any advice appreciated.

I have recently started in a new role- as of 22nd June. I am 29 weeks pregnant today, financially it makes more sense for me to go back to work and My partner stay at home. I want to share paternity leave but given I have just started a new job I may not be eligible. My partner has been employed continiously for 2 years with the same employer. Are we eligible for this?

Sure i’ll get downvoted for this post but before you do.
He’s probably has 30 minutes TV time MAX each day spread across the day if that, while i clean up his highchair for example or quickly do the washing etc.

He’s not an ipad toddler or anything like that. This is a choice me and my partner made to let him have some TV so please no shaming!

However we can’t seem to find anything else he likes to watch apart from on Disney+ ‘songs & rythmes’ by the ‘Tiny Bunch’.
It’s driving me and my husband crazy. So what does your little ones actually enjoy?
We’ve tried puffin rock, bluey, this sea one on netflix, the dino hunt and a few others, Not interested!

I’ve asked for advice from family but getting a lot of CIO advice 😬 I’d rather be nap trapped for the rest of my life than let him cry his little heart out.

So I thought I’d turn to my favourite sub!

My 4 month old boy (who is in the thick of a regression) will only contact nap during the day. Eyes PING open the second his little bum hits any surface.

He will occasionally fall asleep in the pram, only if he’s absolutely shattered

Is there any point in me even bothering whilst he’s going through it with the regression (fighting every nap aggressively, waking up after 10 mins, rinse repeat)

Please be kind - I am so sensitive and sleep deprived 😂😂

I will be 12 weeks pp tomorrow and still not sure if I should submit a complaint to my hospital about a locum midwife and the overall care I received when giving birth.

Here are the things that don’t sit right with me some are fairly minor and some are triggering (baby having an emergency). If you went through something similar it would also be nice to hear to feel less alone in this:

- I arrived at the hospital after leaking bright orange liquid to be checked if its in fact my waters and meconium. I was told to bring a used pad or underwear to show the team, which I did. When I arrived the midwife gave me a new bigger pad after I mentioned I am leaking heavier now. Then she claimed that she asked me to save the old one and asked me to go back to the bathroom and try to find it in the bin (??). I kept repeating that I already have a used pad to show that I brought from home but she insisted she needs the one I chucked away and she brought me to the bathroom and told me to put my hand in a completely full bin of a shared bathroom and find it. I was in shock from everything what’s happening so I complied and did not find it. Its shocking to me now that I was asked to do that with my bare hands all while in labour.

-I was then assigned a locum midwife that greeted me with a very stern attitude and my heart immediately dropped as every other midwife was very lovely and supportive. She asked me to undress completely and stay on bed in a hospital gown with no underwear on (they have plenty of disposable ones?) and a pad under me all while leaking meconium stained waters which made me feel quite gross. I was told immediately that she doesn’t understand why women ask for birthing balls when bed can be adjusted to so many positions (??). The entire time I was asked to sit in certain very upright position while she kept complaining if back slides down even slightly and wasd checking how soaked the pad is regularly. I felt like I am in a hospice and it was not at all the birthing experience I imagined or was told about in all the classes I attended.

After a while I realised there is no real reason for me to be on bed like that even with continuous monitoring as my baby was fine the whole time and the device is wireless for a reason. I told her I am uncomfortable and want to move. After standing for just a minute or so she complained non stop that she is losing signal ( in general everything to do with monitoring she had to constantly ask younger midwifes to help her).
She did not let me eat and insisted I drink water non stop even telling my husband outside of the room that his job is to refill my water as soon as (his job was to ask for a different midwife to be assigned to us to be honest, but thats another story). I asked my husband to bring me the most plain sandwich as I have not eaten all day and I am only 1cm dilated (!) as soon as she saw the sandwich she told my husband not to give to me as I will vomit. (Spoiler: I did not vomit at any point during my labour)

-Once her shift was over a different midwife was assigned for night time and immediately brought me birthing balls, told me I can wear underwear I don’t need to be sitting on this pad and encouraged me to eat. That being said,after doing all of that she spent most of the time on tik tok while sitting by the monitor and took a lunch break as soon as I requested an epidural asking someone random to help.

- The epidural was given by a doctor I suspect is also locum who only spoke sarcastically and when I explained my medical history as advised by anesthetist that I had a consultation with before birth his response was : do you spend a lot of time on chat gpt?
The epidural did not work for an hour and when midwife brought him back he did not even bother spraying my leg just said I do not look in pain and that he cannot remove feelings of pressure for me. I explained again that I am in fact in pain and can feel everything on one side. He then asked me: if you are in pain why you stopped using gas and air? It pissed me off so much even if I was in the zone and very compliant until this point telling him I must be a liar then. The midwife did not advocate for me at all.

-In the morning I was horrified to see the same locum midwife to be assigned to me again. She immediately started complaining about how the other midwife attached my drips to my hand and was rearranging them in such a rough manner that I even looked at my husband shocked. Turns out she disconnected my epidural but nobody realised that until about 2h later leaving me unmedicated during full dilation.
Even when I was unmedicated and in pain the midwife insisted I stay in the same pose and kept putting my legs in a certain position which I refused and received “listen to me!” response. Once again felt like a hospice experience not a girl boss empowering moment everyone talks about. She then prepared stir ups without checking with me if this is position I want to give birth in (it was definitely not).

-In the end I was wheeled into a theatre as baby was reacting badly to my test push. As soon as I was shown the baby and expected it to be given to me for skin to skin it was taken away by the midwife, when my birth plan clearly said I want skin to skin first and assessments later. She took extremely long time doing her assessments and I sent my husband at least twice asking to get my baby asap. She very visibly was not rushing or reacting my request and instead asked my husband if he wants some pictures and did a photoshoot with him before giving baby to me. Baby was completely cleaned of vernix (once again my birth plan was to keep the vernix on) I couldn’t even find any in the creases later, none at all.

Baby was put on me on their stomach with face on my shoulder where I cannot see their face at all. That immediately freaked me out and instead of enjoying this moment I kept asking if baby can be in this position and repeating that I cannot see if their breathing. We had maybe 10 people around me in the theatre and nobody responded. Midwife was nowhere to be seen at that moment as well. Eventually one person in a very unsure manner responded that babies do get put on mothers like this so it should be fine. I relaxed for one second and someone grabbed my baby from me and pressed emergency button with 10 more people rushing in and 0 explanations given to me on what happened. It was the most traumatising minutes of my life and I genuinely thought my baby has passed because nobody was responding to me and they were all standing in a way that made me feel they are covering something from me. After repeatedly asking if my baby is okay one person eventually responded with “ I cannot confirm at this moment” which to me was like a confirmation that baby passed away and I started sobbing.
I still do not know what happened to my baby then as none of this was recorded in medical records but most likely baby turned blue and was given oxygen. They were given back to me when leaving the theatre again with no explanation.
Again instead of enjoying this most anticipated magical bonding time with my baby I kept thinking about how my baby nearly died because I did not see if they were breathing and everything just seemed so fragile and verging between life and death. This moment of anxiety and shock was interrupted by same midwife turning up the ward to say that we were amazing clients ( I ignored all of it and just wanted her to be out) she then looked at me and said : “you forgot how to correctly hold a baby didn’t you” and walked away. Basically implying I caused my baby to stop breathing which from what I understand now was very unlikely have been caused by me, even if it was the position they were in it was the midwife that put my baby on me like that.

I think the last comment alone is worth complaining to PALS. Let me know what you think as I do not even know if its just going to be waste of my time and I should just try to forget.

My daughter is nearly 20 weeks old. Normally I try to get out and about with her a lot but she hates her pram and will only tolerate the carrier, so in the hot weather it's not feasible unless really early or late in the evening.

She gets so easily bored and frustrated - she will play on her play mat and in her swing for 10-15 minutes before getting fed up and needing something new. I read to her, sing to her, dance around, hand her different toys, but it feels like there are so many hours in the day and we're both losing our minds. She is frustrated by not being able to move and wants to be held upright or walked around constantly. To be honest I have given in to screen time a few times because I've run out of things to entertain her with and I'm exhausted.

She is low sleep needs and barely naps during the day - on a good day we get 2 hours of napping tops, some days it's as little as one 40 minute nap. I've accepted this as she sleeps well at night (9-11 hours with one wake up) and trying to get her to nap any more than she needs to was driving me crazy. I hear all these parents talk about 2 hour wake windows at this age but she is comfortably awake for 4 hours sometimes and nothing will make her sleep!

Anyone else have a wide awake baby that needs constant stimulation and have ideas of what to do in the house? Recommended toys, books, games etc?

Edit to add I live in London and don't have a car, so that does restrict going anywhere in 30+ degree heat (no aircon on buses or tubes)

Just looking for a bit of perspective - my little one started nursery about a month ago and has already been ill 3 times, all of them week+ long illnesses where we had to take him out of nursery for a week and longer. It really doesn't help him settling there or our jobs...

How long in people's experience has this slog lasted? I was hoping as it's summer time it'd be a bit easier but sadly not...

I have ordered 2 Axkid Minikid 4 Max car seats but I’m unsure where to install them in my car and how leg room will be.

I have a 2016 Peugeot 3008.

I am 5,3, my partner is 6,5, our daughter is 105cm (5 years old)and our son is around 60cm (2 months old).

Any ideas or advice would really help, thank you.

What nappy cream do you swear by? We’ve tried bepanthen and aveeno which work to some extent but skin is still red and dry