u/Warm-Okra-2061

Expecting twins in November and I enrolled them into the same nursery that my two girls already attend and have done since 10 months. I also used to work there so I trust them fully and never had a single complaint.
However, I’m unsure if it’s sensible to have 4 children in a term only nursery. My twins are October born and therefore won’t start school until almost 5. They’ll turn 3 this year so that means all 4 would be in the same nursery for an entire year.

Pros:
- One drop off and pick up
- Love the nursery

Cons:
- Babies and toddlers are not in separate rooms so maybe it’ll be a bit much for all 4 to be together 24/7?
- How on earth will I do the school holidays?!

I found another nursery I like but the uncertainty is quite anxiety inducing. It’s a nice nursery and would be on my way to work as well. I’d keep my older daughters in their current nursery no matter what though as I don’t want to uproot them so shortly before starting reception.

Thoughts? 🥲

I’m spiralling a bit. I currently have two girls, twins, and I’m about to double my children in early November. Excited but not really in our plans.

One of my biggest fears is that I won’t be able to dote on them equally or give each of them enough attention. I read through so many threads here where people said that their parents didn’t give them enough because of their siblings as there was not enough time and not enough hands. My childhood was amazing and I have 4 siblings so I know this doesn’t have to be the norm. I never felt neglected or as if my parents didn’t give me enough attention. My husband is an only child and also loved that. I know it’s mostly down the parents to ensure children have a good childhood but exactly that is a terrifying thought. What if I mess up.

So if anyone with more than 3 children (or 3 as twins are the same age and schedule of course so it’s a bit different until they’re older) could reassure me or tell me what they’re doing to ensure their children are receiving enough attention. Please let me know 🥲

We have a lot of family support thankfully. So I reckon that’ll help.

Been awake since 6am watching Bluey because sometimes you have to pick your battles. We were screen free household before this pregnancy 🥲

Just everything that was hard during my first pregnancies is now even harder. Fatigued? Sucks for you. Have to go to a play cafe or do the nursery run before work. Tired at night? Still waking up for the day at 7am and immediately having to do things.
Pain? Doesn’t matter, still have to pick my toddlers up.

Dreading the newborn phase a little bit now.

Edit: I realised the title sounded like I’m pregnant with a toddler and not pregnant and have toddlers lol. Clearly I’m tired.

I have twin girls, they’ll be 3 in October and they hate each other so much and I’m at my wits end with them. They’re definitely going through the terrible twos and have done for many weeks now so every day is a battle to begin with but since born, they’ve been polar opposite of each other and I don’t know what else I can do to make them more happy with each other. They just fight each other any opportunity they can get. We had to repurpose my husbands office as a second bedroom as they can’t share a room due to them waking each other and just physically attacking one another.

We are currently on holiday and having a great time as long as they’re not sat next to each other lol.

We discipline, they have consequences, I’m not a permissive parent but I’ll admit that I used to be but worked hard to not be that anymore as I saw it reflected in their behaviour.

They’re happy when alone. They get 1:1 time with each of us. I don’t think it’s attention thing they’re fighting for.
They ignore each other in nursery for the most part.

Any advice on what I could do? I’m having another set of twins in November and I’m terrified how they’ll cope and how we’ll cope. They’re lovely with other children and kind but just can’t stand each other.

I already complained to PALS but nothing was done and I’m at my wits end as this is basically the same experience I had in my last pregnancy, just even worse.
I’m not sure I want to change hospital as the consultant care I’m receiving is amazing. Sonographers are really kind and I feel confident in them and I gave birth in the same hospital last time and was overall happy with the care I received, even though my birth was very traumatic and intervention heavy. And my induction was very delayed which was anxiety inducing. I’m never seeing the same midwife, they’re so busy that it’s always a different one so I can’t change the midwife either.

Please tell me if I’m being dramatic or just anxious or just need to ride this out.

The issues I’m having and TW here for baby loss and complications.

- I was meant to have an early GD test. It was cancelled which is fine as I thought they’d reschedule it. I called the midwife line and emailed to ask to have this rescheduled, they confirmed they would. It didn’t happen. I emailed my consultant, finally had my test. The results were never uploaded or shared with me. When I asked at my next appointment, I was told that “it didn’t matter this early on in pregnancy” and she’d chase it up eventually. I’m also meant to have a retest before 30 weeks and that wasn’t discussed yet.

- One midwife was trying to convince me to ask for a VBAC and she “didn’t see why anyone would have an elective c-section”. This is a twin pregnancy and I had 1 emergency c-section with my last birth, I don’t even believe it’s allowed in the NICE guidelines to VBAC with twins after an emergency c-section? Or recommended. The consultant never even brought this up as an option at all. She then spent the remainder of the appointment trauma dumping her postpartum recovery of her c-section on me.

- They ran out of the test strips to check for protein and glucose in the urine twice now. So at both appointments they didn’t test. I bought the same strips to use at home for reassurance but I was just surprised I wasn’t asked to come back in at all.

- Last time they took blood, she couldn’t get the vain properly so she used the same needle 4 times to get the blood on both arms.

- Accidentally selected that I smoke at my booking appointment. I never smoked a cigarette in my life. The next midwife gave me a lecture about smoking, SIDS and being selfish before I could even say I don’t smoke.

- Same midwife “forgot” to add to my notes or really at all that my first son died. She input that this is my second pregnancy which isn’t true. I didn’t realise that she didn’t input this information until close to 20 weeks and of course didn’t receive any care whatsoever related to what happened during my first pregnancy.
When I asked another midwife why this wasn’t inputted, she said it didn’t matter anymore as I had a live birth in between so the fact that my son died isn’t relevant now to this pregnancy. It is though? Because he died due to a pregnancy complication? Or am I missing something here and she’s right?

- Got annoyed at my husband for asking for more information about the whooping cough vaccine. Midwife gave us a lecture about how if we decline it then if the babies die it’s our fault. We never wanted to decline it, he just wanted more information as he’s nervous about anything that happens in pregnancy because again, our first son died. We are not against vaccines by any means.

Me again, I received really helpful advice when I posted about my twins going through the terrible 2s (this post) so I’m back for more parenting advice as I feel incompetent in all honesty.

I’m more than half way through my pregnancy and I need to get my twins to stop co-sleeping and breastfeeding in preparation for postpartum as I cannot take care of newborns while I have toddlers climb all over me or demand nursing as well.

Breastfeeding: I exclusively breastfed them for 2 years, well they’re still breastfeeding around 1-5 times in 24h each. One is more interesting in it than the other. I will openly admit, and I’m ashamed, that I used to be a very much permissive parent looking back. I tried the gentle parenting tactics but I took it a bit far and essentially gave in and let them run all over me which I’m now paying the consequences for (yay).
If I say no, they’ll have a tantrum. They don’t stop the tantrum even for hours. I tried explaining that breastmilk is for babies and they’re big girls but they don’t care. At night they won’t settle without sometimes and the alternative is hours of screaming.
Do I just persevere and if so, how long will this likely go for? I’m exhausted. Is there an approach I could take that makes them not want to breastfeed in the first place? Anything creative basically.

Co-sleeping: They do have their own room but rarely stay in it during the night. If they do, they wake each other up just to bicker or fight so allowing them in our bed is the lesser evil in those moments for all of us to get a good night sleep. Well for the 3 of us, husband then has to relocate to the sofa as there’s not enough space for 4 people. How do I stop this?
I tried everything and I can’t just lock our door as that seems cruel.
I made their room really nice, had them pick out their own bedding and we even rewarded them for staying inside their beds at night.

Just feeling like such a failure and all these habits I created are now coming to kick me and I’m very worried how we’ll cope once I have given birth. Thanks!! 💗

I’m the mum of 2.5 year old twin girls and I’m at my wits end. I feel like everything is a battle, nothing I do is right and I’m constantly being hit, bitten and kicked by them.

They also seem to hate each other at the moment. They fight over everything, for example they have a tonies box and until last week they would happily share it and even pick out tonies together and agree on one. Not anymore. They lost it all week long over who got to listen to a tonie and then B would push and kick twin A whenever she’d even attempt to get close to one.

They don’t want anything I make for breakfast but will also kick off if the other twin eats something they then suddenly want and are in starvation for.

I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I’m trying my best to hold my boundaries, I am calm (if we ignore that I cry myself to sleep every evening), I don’t shout, I take their hands off me when they hit but nothing works. They just laugh in my face.

Then yesterday one of them punched me in the stomach and I spent 3 hours in maternity triage for monitoring as I’m in my second trimester and then every tantrum repeated again when they woke at 5am.

They’re angels in nursery and ironically the ones being bitten by other children and never the other way around, they’re ok around their father and sweet around family members. I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.

They’re still breastfeeding. I’m trying so desperately to wean them because this pregnancy gave me an aversion to having anything to do with my nipples and I’m getting so overstimulated with them. My husband thinks I should go on holiday for a week and after they’ll not want to co-sleep anymore and will have understood there’s no more breastfeeding but I don’t know.

Any advice is welcome.

I have twin girls who used to be sweet little angels who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. They turned into tyrants and I’m at a complete loss at this point. I cry almost every evening once they’re in bed because it’s so incredibly exhausting. I stay calm, I do my best to not give in and to stay firm with my boundaries but I’m so tired of this.

I’m also in my second trimester and my energy levels are at an all time low. My sister tells me to just give them a bit of screen time when I need it but they don’t even want to watch tv. I tried. They have a tonies box and my husband is currently in Curry’s picking up a second as they spent all of last week kicking and biting each other over who gets to play with it and I know when he’ll come home they’ll start a fight over who gets which one even if we don’t tell them which is the new and old one and I’m dreading it already.

Yesterday one of the girls punched me in the stomach so I spent 3h in maternity triage and didn’t come home until 10pm and then was woken at 5am with screaming and fighting.

They’re constantly fighting each other too. Breakfast today ended with food being thrown at each other and just scream crying. Strawberries were a no but when her sister ate a strawberry, she didn’t like that and got jealous.

I feel like the biggest failure of a parent and I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. They go to nursery and behave so well there but everything is an issue at home. Especially with me. They’re much easier on my husband.

Any advice is also appreciated.

I feel awful even writing this because I know how lucky I am to be expecting healthy babies and I already feel so much guilt for feeling this way.

We found out we’re having twin girls. We lost our first son and while these babies are so so loved, finding out their gender has brought up emotions I wasn’t expecting. It’s confusing to me as we already have twin girls and I don’t recall feeling like this when we found out we were having two girls after we had lost our son.

My husband is having a vasectomy in the next few weeks so these will be our last children. That means I’ll never get to experience raising a son and I think I’m grieving the future I always imagined alongside celebrating the one I’m so grateful for.
I love these girls already, and I wouldn’t change them for anything but I think I’m mourning something I know will never happen now.

Did anyone experience this and how did you overcome it?

Had a consultant appointment yesterday which I was excited for as my midwife appointments have been difficult so far to say the least. Consultant was lovely but she did say that due to staffing issues and the maternity wards and theatres being extremely busy, there’s a decent chance that my planned c-section will happen between 38-39 weeks instead of 37 weeks.

Looking at the NICE guidelines, it clearly states that “continuing the pregnancy beyond 37+6 weeks increases the risk of fetal death” and now of course I’ve been crying all day and panicking as a result.

I’m wondering if there’s anything at all that I can do or request if it comes to this or if it’s just a matter of having to accept it?

I know what the consultant said was right, I just feel very anxious about it.

I’m having to take it twice during this pregnancy.

I’m so scared of developing GD this time around, it terrifies me so I’m absolutely dreading walking myself to the hospital in a little bit to do the glucose test. I think more so as I’m worried for the result?
I wish I could just avoid it altogether.

I remember during my last pregnancy I had to repeat it 3 times in one week as I kept bringing up the glucose drink. I was given some anti-sickness to take this morning but I still worry.

Please share some positivity 💗

Writing this before 6am but I have the worst insomnia and it started from week 10 and I have no idea how I’ll cope in the next weeks and yet alone going into the newborn phase not having slept in weeks.

I tried magnesium, not looking at my phone, I took the lighter options the GP prescribed. Absolutely nothing is helping and this feels like torture.
Any unhinged advice I would never think of?
Or can anyone relate?

I couldn’t sleep until 1am and woke up at 5am and now can’t go back to sleep anymore.

I have 2 1/2 year old twin girls and they’ll be 3 when their siblings arrive. I know the chance of having twins again is something like 1/12 and I seem to have become that statistic. So I’m wondering are there any other second time twin parents around and do you have any advice to give? I’m worried how I’ll cope with postpartum and my toddlers at the moment.

TLTR: feeling down about my pregnancy and worried how I’ll cope when labour approaches and throughout the pregnancy itself physically and mentally

I’m currently 16 weeks pregnant, this is my second twin pregnancy. My girls are 2 1/2 and will be 3 by the time their siblings arrive. This pregnancy wasn’t planned, I fell for them while having an IUD and on day 29 of my cycle so we kicked this all off with a scare of a potential ectopic due to cramping, bleeding and the fact I have an IUD which wasn’t the best start to it. They did an early scan at the EPU and saw 1 sac. Fast forward to my 12 week scan, 2 sacs, 2 babies so we found out somewhat late.

I’m feeling worried about the pregnancy itself as twins are higher risk. With my girls I had no complications until birth but with our first pregnancy we lost the baby at 32 weeks so this is still on my mind and I felt scared until I went past that point in my last pregnancy.

I decided to opt for a c-section this time around as I was induced at 38 weeks with my girls and ended up needed interventions to deliver my first vaginally and then immediately had to have an emergency c-section for my second. I was so so so adamant to stick to what I thought was a perfect birth plan (don’t we all want a water birth with minimal interventions!) and when it didn’t work out that way and all went down south, I felt very low and awful afterwards and just finishing EMDR therapy for it all which really helped so much. I just worry birth approaching will be re-traumatising and I worry how I will cope with newborn twins and toddlers.

They’re still breastfeeding and I’ve been desperate to wean them but it leads to so many tantrums but the sensation of breastfeeding while pregnant is awful and makes my skin crawl. One is also potty trained since 16 months while the other one still isn’t fully potty trained, it’s a lot. Basically we are in the terrible 2s, potty training, trying to wean off the boob. A lot on our plate.
I don’t know how I’ll get through this whole pregnancy while chasing my girls all day and dealing with huge tantrums. I know I have to stay firm but I’ve already given in to whatever they asked me a couple of times now as I was just too exhausted to deal with 2h of moaning and screaming and just staying at the playground felt easier even though that meant cancelling my own plans with a friend.

I also told my work and they’re conducting an assessment now as I work in a SEN school and have been pushed on a few occasions before and once been punched in the stomach by a boy which worries me a lot that this could repeat.

I was referred by my midwife to perinatal mental health but I spoke to them during my last pregnancy already as I experienced a lot of anxiety and they weren’t helpful to me and I also had / have my own therapy already outside the NHS so I’m really unsure what they could do for me? Basically I’m experiencing a lot of gloom and doom. Any kind words or advice would be appreciated. And please no “why didn’t you terminate” comments, I’ve been told a few too many times now.

Girls I really need some help with this one.

I have twin girls and we are still breastfeeding at 30 months, so 2 1/2. One more than the other. Calling them twin A and B just for privacy sake but twin A will only occasionally nurse when she’s ill or very upset. Someeeeetimes when she’s jealous of her sister but we have overcome this for the most part. I don’t believe I can fully wean her without her sister being weaned off at the same time as it’ll cause jealously.
Twin B is really attached and still nurses in the morning and to fall asleep at night. On my days off from work she’ll also ask for the boob throughout the day.

I’m now pregnant again with twins and I’m so incredibly exhausted and breastfeeding has become overstimulating for me as awful as I feel for it. My boobs are super tender and always sore and it’s just uncomfortable.

I tried offering alternatives for comfort, I tried introducing sticker charts and rewards but she’s not having any of it. I know such bad permissive parenting from my side but whenever I just say “no, mummys boobs hurt. Why don’t we have a cuddle and read a book?” or offer a hot chocolate she’ll have a huge tantrum and I eventually just give up and let her nurse.

What do I do? 🥲