r/parentsofmultiples

I’m struggling with resentment toward my MIL after having twins and I don’t really know how to move forward.

During my pregnancy she constantly overstepped with unwanted advice and criticism. She would tell me what I should and shouldn’t eat, comment on my weight, recommend diet pills her friend was taking, etc.

Now that the twins are here, it’s somehow worse. When the girls were only 7 days old and I was freshly postpartum, she pointed out what felt like 10 different things we were supposedly doing wrong as parents or things she thought were wrong with the babies. I cried hysterically on the drive home because I was already struggling emotionally and physically postpartum.

My partner did confront her, but it immediately became about how SHE was the victim and how she was “being treated like an asshole.” Things calmed down for a little while, but I later saw messages between her and my partner where she was still criticizing the girls based on photos sent in the family group chat

Now I feel anxious whenever she visits because I’m scared she’ll start with the unsolicited advice and criticism again and it’ll upset me. I also resent her a lot now, which I hate because I do respect her and don’t want conflict.

The issue is there’s also a language barrier, so I feel nervous confronting her directly because she misunderstands me a lot of the time. My partner says he’s already said everything that needs to be said, but it just doesn’t seem to get through to her.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has dealt with this kind of MIL dynamic postpartum? How do you set boundaries without causing a massive family fallout?

Hi, anyone who’s been in my shoes and experienced both, which was harder? I’m currently 21 weeks with di/di twins, working full time (hybrid remote and commute to office 50/50), with a very busy 2 year old. I’m beyond exhausted, already feel huge, and feel like I’m struggling through each day. Is this harder than having newborn twins with a toddler? 2 y.o will be starting full day preschool in September (same time the twins arrive), and I’m in Canada so my mat leave will be 18 months!

I have to start saying I am a very anxious person. I am 8 weeks pregnant with twins, I just learned last week. Doctor says most likely modi. I am really excited and a bit scared.
This whole story feels unbelievable:
- conceived in the first month of trying
- conceived after being diagnosed with severe hypothyroidism, was put on meds but doctor suggested low fertility for at least a few months, he was surprised too that I got pregnant
- conceived with twins
- conceived with modi which is even lower probability
My mind tries to make “sense” of it, I read everywhere that those who conceive with twins from a spiritual perspective are “chosen”. Having twins feels like a totally different lifepath. Has anyone else been relflecting on why you got pregnant with twins? I am overthinking?

I’m 6 weeks post partum, and while I’m aware it takes a while for the organs to shift back and all that, and people say just let your body heal - I don’t really know what to expect.

I gained about 50 lbs in pregnancy and lost 20 after birth. I’m bigger overall which is understandable but I still look about 5 months pregnant. I thought that your abdomen would revert back very slowly over time, but for me it was a big change about 1-2 weeks after birth and then it’s been pretty much the same since.

I know every body is different but I was curious what other peoples experiences have been to kind of get a sense of what to expect.

We have identical 9yo twin girls. They can have fun together but currently it seems they really are taking a disliking to each other. Things we used to be able to do with both of them at the same time are no longer possible, they detest each other's company and will bully each other and fight.

We realized that we've optimized for efficiency, so they attend same school (different classes), they share a room and a large bed, they get baths together, they attend the same things. That we can control and change at the cost of some overhead in how we live our lives. But outside that, any tips from parents in similar situations much welcome, what's ahead?

Where do you put your twins when you need them in a safe space while you do something e.g. cleaning up after feeding them solids?

My twins are 8 months old and getting more mobile. Until now I've been using their baby bouncers, but today one of my babies has started trying to escape. I could put them in their play area, but they tend to go straight on their tummys which isnt ideal if they've just eaten, they also tend to get fussy. Tips welcome on how to keep them content while doing things like cleaning up.

I am a FTM to 11 month old b/g twins and let’s just say the transition has been a lot. I am a very type B person, very relaxed with household chores and generally not the most tidy. So I have had to adjust rapidly with the twins and I have been working so hard on becoming more organized for them.

With that, I have made a few shortcuts that has made my life so much easier but both my mom and partner disagree with. The first one has been not folding their clothes. I just put them in bins and leave it at that. The second one might be controversial - I don’t worry about them wearing matching socks. I just can’t keep up with all the tiny socks. Anyways my mom has called me “an amazing mother but a slob” and will come over and fold all their clothes because she does not agree with them just being in bins. My partner hates the mismatched socks but my opinion is I’d rather spend my time with them than organizing socks and folding clothes 😅 what are other parents of multiples doing?? Are these short cuts understandable? I feel like I’m drowning sometimes.

Does anyone else have identical (mono-di) twins that don't look alike ??

I feel like my boys are SO different looking, i look at pictures and I'm just like ....where is the identical part??

They have the signature apple/pear heads, but they also have different sized eyes, different hair, and then aside from looks, completely different personalities.

I was so worried about getting them mixed up but now i feel like its so obvious whos who from miles away with one eye covered !!

Our twins are a month old and combo feed. I breastfeed one while the other gets formula in a bottle. we’ve had friends recommend the baby breeza but I’ve heard mixed things. is it worth it for twins? I figured between two it will be lots of bottles within the year but also takes two seconds to make a bottle anyway.

I feel like a prisoner of my house. I’ve been happy maybe 5% of the time as a mother. The rest of the time I’ve been so exhausted and stressed. Newborn through infancy was hell. They were horrible sleepers and colicky. After that it was still hard. They cry and scream all the time. Never content no matter what we do for them. Always mad about something every few minutes. But the last month I’m feeling like it’s hell again. They never leave me alone. I feel rushed doing anything to the point that I’m shaking because my body is just preparing for the next scream. One of them won’t stop getting into everything and I’ve baby proofed to the max. I can’t even turn my back now or use the bathroom because they find a way to get into something. I feel like I’m a great mom and would love motherhood if it wasn’t this bad. but feel as though my kids are way more intense than other kids I’ve met. People can’t relate to the amount of chaos I’m dealing with daily. We never did family photos. We have taken one family vacation and it was a ton of work and not much time for any enjoyment. I just feel like every day is Groundhog Day and we can’t even do the things we used to anymore because they run away, fight the stroller, fight the car seats, take off clothing no matter what kind I try. Want to go home as soon as we get places. Want to leave the house when we’re home. They’re never satisfied and I feel stuck.

Anyone have a similar situation and it ended up being ok? The doctor seems extremely concerned and negative about the whole thing. He was melancholy and just made me feel really terrible about the whole thing. But after doing some googling and some Reddit searching, I feel like I’ve seen some people say they ended up fine. Does anyone have some similar success stories? Thanks in advanced.

I’m 2ish months PP. Our boy / girl twins were born at 34+6 and came home a week later, we were very lucky with short NICU stays. Our girl came home first so we had a taste of life with one, our boy came home a few days later and then there were two.

They just hit two months and the last couple weeks have been rough. Our boy is a “grunter,” that infant dyschezia or whatever. He grunts ALL THE TIME, and it drives us insane. It interrupts his sleep but it’s been manageable like we have a flow. Yesterday and today have been terrible, nothing chills him like usual. I don’t think it’s colic because he does settle for about a half hour at a time and it’s not like purple faced screaming but he’s just crying and we can’t figure out how to settle him.

We’ve tried all kinds of stuff and I’m not necessarily looking for advice on this just because we’re gonna get with peds and see but I just don’t know how people do this.

The crying is what gets me like it’s so overwhelming and I just want it to stop or just pause for more than a half hour. They were chill babies but I know that was the preemie potato phase and they’re becoming humans but it’s exhausting. Don’t forget that they love their pacifiers so much but cannot seem to keep them in.

It has me feeling not good enough, scared as shit for the future and missing our “old life” when it was just us and the dogs. I also wish there was just one of them, but I could never pick one ya know. I love them both so I feel awful saying that.

Scared is the word that describes what I’m feeling. If I’m overwhelmed now, how will I ever be good enough for even harder shit moving forward?

Has anyone else experienced this? The DAY I turned 30 weeks I suddenly felt so weak + had a ton of pressure around my pelvis. It hurt to walk yesterday. I have been very active so maybe I’ve been pushing too hard. A lot of unpacking from my apartment move last week, a 2 mile walk in Central Park, and some intense family stress the night before I had the painful walking day. Does it get significantly worse between 30 and 38 weeks? You can be honest lol. I hope I make it to 38 weeks but I’m also comforted by the fact that they’re “viable” at this point with a NICU stay of course. I’m finishing up my nursery now, have a dresser and 2 SNOOs and a comfy recliner. Anyway I guess I’m just looking to chat with other di-di twin moms about their late 3rd trimester experiences! I have my first NST next week.

Does anyone have any tips on burping two babies at once solo? Trying to figure out the best way to reduce the time it takes to do the solo feed and keep my girls happy. They are 5 weeks old (1 week adjusted)

Hello, so just recently I encountered a fellow twin mom who has daughters a year older than mine. I got super excited and I asked her if we could schedule a play date. She got excited too and gave me her contact info. The thing is, I also wanted her number to possibly be friends. I feel so desperate to have someone I could relate to in person because it literally feels like I’m alone in this. I don’t know anyone else with multiples and I have zero friends in person unfortunately. I haven’t made a friend in person since maybe a decade ago. I’m not anti social but I have terrible chances at life with people and I live in a very small town. I really crave a sisterhood or a best friend, at times it really does get me down in the dumps seeing all these groups of other moms with genuine friendships. As soon as I became a mom, a lot of things changed for me and loneliness feels like it’s more than ever now. I guess I’m asking for advice on how to not act like a creepy desperate person and to be able to talk to people again. This is embarrassing that I even have to ask how to socialize again but I’m hoping someone else can relate on here. I’m not shy by any means either, I just really don’t want to reek of desperation. 😞