r/parentsofmultiples

How often did you have help handling your twins on a daily basis?

My MIL is virtually helping us every day with our 3month old twins. I’m incredibly thankful but also feel like I shouldn’t need so much help? She works full time too so I just feel bad. She said people have made snarky comments to her about how she’s spoiling us and that we shouldn’t need her so much☹️ I hardly ever ask for help, she just does. I know I’m wrong for feeling this way most likely but love to hear how involved your “village” is.

I’ll preface by saying that I feel so grateful to be expecting twins. However! … I’m terrified of body changes. I’m 5’3 and around 115 lb prior to pregnancy. I’m 10 weeks today and already have a noticeable bump…

Twin mommas, give me your advice for managing body change anxiety and tips for getting your pre-pregnancy body back after delivery.

Edit- overeating! Not heating. TW for eating issues

For context, my twins were premature and are very low on their respective growth curves. They are 3 now are just barely holding on to their own trajectories. They've had some recent dips below curve due to illness and having a hard time sitting down for meals (wanting to play and be on the go - normal 3 year old behaviors but hard to get food in them). We had a relative over recently from a side of the family that struggles with body image issues, EDs, and body shaming of other family members. While at our house, this relative made a comment about listening to our bodies because you don't want to overeat. We are all for following body cues and encouraging body attunement, but the tone was off so it hit my own body image issues on top of causing chaos in our routine. One of the three year olds is now using those words against us (my body is telling me I'm full mom and I don't want to overeat eat because it will make me throw up). This after no food all day, kid having melt downs left and right from being hangry, just wanting to play and not sit to eat). We are following our peds advice on high calorie, nutritious food, but any advice for how to get this back on track and to get this comment out of our day to day lives around food? We don't see this relative very often so I hope it will fade, but man it is killing me.

Also just really needed a vent because our house rule is to not talk about food like that in the slightest. We sit for mealtimes and eat until we are full but we never mention the concept of over eating or being concerned about food quantity in either direction. Who thinks that is a good idea to put into a 3 year olds head??!! A bean pole at that?!

when i put one down the other two start crying and when one starts crying they all start crying and when two stop crying the other one starts crying (their 4 weeks old btw). i feel like im losing my fucking mind like i only have two arms and not to mention when all 3 are crying omg my bf helps but at night omg it’s the worst, they scream and scream and scream i feel like they never sleep which makes me never sleep.. is this normal will they grow out this please tell me they grow out of this 😭😭

My twins are almost 5 months and the products I have in my house are starting to come to the end of their useful life. The babies don’t wanna sit or tummy time in the Twinz pillow anymore. One of my babies is starting to get a little heavy for the cheap bouncers I have (though I think we still have a bit more time with those). They’ve never really liked the swings anyway, so I think it’s time for me to get rid of those.

OK, so I’m wondering what did you guys use to help you get through this next stage? Did bumbo type seats work best for you? Did you get those jumpers? Those activity centers that you can stick the baby in? Something I’m not thinking of? I know I still need some way of containing/entertaining the babies at times. They get grumpy if they have too much floor time. I just don’t know what’s best for twins at this age. I’d love your input on what worked for you! Thank you!!

I'm a 40yr old mom to a 4yr old boy and 2yr old twin boys. The last 6+ months I have been SO physically exhausted to the point where I am no longer exercising and some days I just don't have the energy to take the kids to park/run errands with them.... it can be a big task to keep tabs on all 3 while out in public, not to mention loading them all in/out of that car and into the wagon (which weighs a million pounds). I sleep fine at night- but regardless of how much sleep I get I just feel physically (mentally) drained. I'm a stay at home mom- so it's not like I'm juggling work demands in addition to demands at home.
I guess I'm wondering if my age is finally catching up with me - or if all parents of multiples feel this way at some point when their little ones reach an age where you constantly have to chase/wrangle...

I’ve heard a lot of people saying they wish they had more help post partum so with two toddler boys (4 yo and 2 yo) and two modi twin boys on the way, I’m trying to find ways to get more help. I have 12 weeks maternity leave (I WFH), 8 paid at 60% and 4 100%. My husband is paid more than me but has 1 month at 100%. I’m thinking
-do we keep our oldest two in daycare for that time? Or hire a nanny?
-should we hire a nanny for the twins too? That’s the plan for sure after I go back to work.
-what about a night nurse?
Not sure if we can afford it all but would appreciate advice on what to prioritize from people who have been through it! Also would love advice on how to find night nurses and nanny’s, I have no idea where to start.

So first things first everything went very well. Babies are very active I was 20w5d when i went in for the scan. All bones and organs are present and accounted for and the doctor was very pleased.

I was diagnosed with diabetes last year so I'm being closely monitored for preeclampsia. Doctor says he wants me to see a cardiologist to get a closer look at the babies hearts. But a minute prior he said everything was perfect and even scheduled me out to be seen again in 4 weeks.

So for those that had diabetes and twins is this normal after a scan? I think maybe they may have seen something but wasn't confirmation before scaring me.

If you had any experience with this I'd love to hear how it turned out for your family.

My boys just turned 3 in June. We visited potty training once before last December but did not really seem to be clicking. Now we are starting in the Summer to see if they are ready. My boys are diagnosed Austic and I know that can affect progress.

Thing is I am having a hard time with it. It is only Day 2 and I have already stepped away to have a meltdown (away from the boys of course). I started Day 1 in Pullups (they've been in these since our first attempt since i did not want to switch them back to diapers) and we just visited the potty about or around every hour. Read a book about using the potty and just drew attention to their privates and repeated Pee and Poop on Potty. Then today we removed the Pullup and put them in undies so they could feel when they went. We've have had no success so far. Everything has been accidents but I know its only day two.

We took up our carpets and use the bathroom in our house. I have the mop on standby, and hand wash amd dry undies routinely. I also bought recorder buttons for my nonverbal son so he can press it to indicate he needs to go and we do so everytime we "use" the potty.

I am just really stressed. They start at a prek program at school in the Fall. They reassured me its not a problem and that a lot are not potty trained but I want to give it another honest go before they start.

I feel like im doing things wrong and they just aren't getting it. I have rewards and praise for positive reinforcement and Day 1 we made sure to make the potty a positive place but we still arent going in the toilet and I dont think my nervous system can handle this. I feel bad as well because I am handling it so poorly. When the pee in the floor I feel extremely flustered and rushed to get them to the toilet. Then im nervous one will pee while I am working with the other. Then I go to clean up the mess and I swear by the time ive mopped it up the other has done had an accident. I cant keep up and I dont want to make potty time stressful for them because they see Mommy panicking. Thats not beneficial to them or me.

Ive ended up leaving them in the underwear but placing a PullUp over top to prevent the mess but hopefully the wet feeling of the underwear will still be present as to indicate a need to potty.

I am open to any advice. I am really struggling and I feel like I am failing at this.

(Additional Info: They both recieve OT/Speech Services as well as ABA. ABA recommend just underwear so I was giving it a try this go around because she said it works best. I am also in Therapy to help navigate my anxiety and stress (so that things like this do not overstimulate me as much).

We're doing it. We're moving from Newborn diapers to Stage 1 at 5 weeks. Taking in the little wins with a huge smile.

I don't know about anyone else But I have a laundry pile that builds up Outside Of my laundry room It's all folded and sorted but has not made it up into the rooms. I don't know normally host in there he's my living room I usually keep the kids in the playroom on the dining room. Every time my mother-in-law comes over for whatever reason she decides that she wants to host in this unchildproofed room. Whenever I come home from lunch or wherever we were I am super annoyed I do not get how she does not understand that she is in the midst of my deeply personal laundry pile doesn't everyone have a laundry pile wtf. Anyway I have the evil crotchety biatch for being annoyed by this what the hell.

We literally have a small basket of random distractions like cups, lids, spoons, containers, some toys, magnetic blocks what not to keep their interest in their chairs and in food.

How do I get past this? If anybody else dealt with this, how long did it take for it to improve?

It makes so anxious because they wont eat without toys, go hungry, and will take milk but also need to be distracted.

I can tell when they like the food and even when they do, they wont eat until given something interesting to hold.

One of them is better than her sister but we feel she is picking up her bad habits watching her.

They are under nanny care right now and my only solution is that may be daycare makes this better?

😭😭😭😭

We are going to an all inclusive resort in Cancun with our one year old twins, this will be our first time flying with them (2 hour flight) and their longest stay away from home (5 nights). We booked two aisle seats across from each other.

In general I’m feeling pretty good about the trip but looking for some help/ideas on the below areas. Also open to some general tips for traveling with twins of this age! for reference, they are not walking yet.

1. Bottled water - they are still on formula bottles. Will the resort bottled water do or would it be best to stop at a grocery store for some gallons of distilled water?

2. best distractions and entertainment for the plane ride? They have not had screens before FYI.

3. Food. My girls eat 3 meals a day. Breakfast is always cereal oatmeal/yogurt. Their lunch is primarily a puree + some solids. Dinner is full solid table food. Should I pack purées for their lunch or the pack the cereal? I know the resort buffet will probably help out with oatmeal and yogurt. Thoughts?

Expected the worst, kept expectations very low lol. Assumed they’d hate the heat, hate the water, not be able to sleep due to noise fireworks etc

Honestly had a great time! Babies LOVED the water, were total champs with the schedule being thrown, and slept like a rock. They’re also still exhausted and 2.5 hours into their nap right now!

Definitely had some melt downs (oh and a 25 min stop at a gas station where both their outfits were just thrown out lol) but they both took a contact nap under an umbrella on the beach that literally made it all worth it. Core memories made for me and dad, 10/10 would do again!

Also something I heard over and over again was “accept the help!” and it’s seriously great advice. It was a family trip and if someone offered to feed a baby? Yes please! Want me to sit and play with them so you and hubby can take a walk? Absolutely!

I’m looking to buy a budget friendly side by side stroller for my one year old twins. I have a mockingbird and I’m tired of disassembling it and putting it together multiple times every time I run an errand with my twins.
I’ve done some research but everything suggested out there is like $500+ dollars and anything I find out there that’s cheaper I’ve never heard of. Facebook marketplace place in my area is solely very overpriced beat up city joggers. I’m looking for a double side by side that can fit through a standard doorway, folds without being taken apart, and has decent storage in the basket. I appreciate any recommendations!

…are killing me 😩

My twins are 5.5 months, 4.5 months adjusted. We have an older toddler so we’ve been through this before somewhat but dear god.

My twins are still taking five 30 minute naps a day most days. Their wake windows are rarely longer than 90 minutes. Every now and then they do four naps, usually if one of us goes in and holds them partway through a nap if they are stirring.

During their wake windows they mostly lay on a mat and play/do tummy time but they are constantly frustrated by the positions they get into and wanting to be picked up.

Overnight sleep is not great but could be worse. But the ups and downs of getting them down a combined 10 times a day plus bedtime is taking me out. I have a herniated disc (my PCP thinks anyway) probably from some combo of pregnancy hormones and shitty posture when tandem feeding. And the bending, lifting, carrying all day, my god.

I am solo parenting the twins this weekend because of my husband job, luckily other family nearby are taking care of my toddler and I’m extremely grateful. But my twins first nap started at 6:45 AM today and I just feel full of rage. Not to mention all the tricks people throw out for extending wake windows are so hard to do with two. With my singleton we held her for naps and so I think that’s why she could take slightly longer ones, even through this phase.

I also just finished weaning from pumping and breastfeeding so I am in a state, hormonally speaking. And our twins just started daycare which is sad and a relief simultaneously.

What age (actual and adjusted) did your twins consolidate naps?

Im.just curious if this has bothered anyone: my kids are extremely tiny for their age, between 10th and 18th percentile in weight and 25th in height (No one on either of their families has ever gotten over 5'7", so this was expected).

However, they have always fit precisely in their size range for clothes: 12 months at 1, 2t at 2, 3t at 3, etc.

Are toddler clothes really just that stretchy or do clothes run small? Its wild to think that the average size clothes are such a perfect match for my below average sized kids.

I have 4 year old twin girls. One is naturally studious and does fine learning first or second grade material. The other has no interest and is rapidly falling behind. I would really like to keep them in the same grade level; has anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with it?

Edit: Thank you everyone for the thoughtful and very helpful responses. I want to clarify a few things that were not obvious in my post. I want to let the twin with no academic interest do what she wants. My concern is an atmosphere is being created where she feels behind - I already see frustration when the other picks things up easily while she’s struggling. I am not forcing 1st and second grade material on either of them, this is the way it has naturally gone down. One prefers academics, the other doesn’t. How do I as a parent take responsibility and create the atmosphere where they both feel seen?

P.S. Thank you all for the kind and helpful tone of your responses. I am doing this for the first time bumbling around making mistakes. I am just trying to be a better parent.

Hi everyone! First time mom, and twin mom here. My girls will be 10mo chronological on 7-12-26 and are 8mo 14 days adjusted as of today. Baby A (Zoe) has been wanting to sit up to drink her bottle lately. But she isn't tilting her head back. She hasn't gotten down the mechanics yet. Baby B (Bridget) is still happy to lay down and drink a bottle but is getting a little stir crazy.

Should I start putting their formula in a sippy/starter cup since they are waiting to sit up and move around? I know zilch about babies and the internet is no help. Hoping to get some advice from y'all! Thanks in advance!