u/ThiccccRevolution

I feel like my twins are always behind. They’re crawling and starting to get curious with standing and walking. They babble and say words like “dada, mama, baba, daddy, and doggie.” They turned 1 year old on the 11th of August.

My pediatrician gives such vague answers about milestones and foods to feed them that I’m constantly looking online for help.

My MIL thinks I should know everything about raising kids so when I ask for help she doesn’t really respond. She just says, “They’re fine.”

I don’t have a mother to ask for help from and most of the mothers I know are stressed from working one or even two jobs.

I’m at such a loss of words and confidence.

Does anyone have any resources that have helped you along?

I’ve grown to hold many secrets. To keep my past locked away and buried deep within the sands of my depressive mind. I let the medication I take build the well that I’ve thrown them into.

Sometimes, a secret comes crawling out, leaving black stains along the mouth of the stone walls. It leers at me, gasping for the air I’ve refused it to have, and reminds me as it squelches towards me that nothing can be hidden forever.

I keep trying to ignore the clawing up my ankles or the pressure around my neck, or even the dryness from my unblinking eyes. But, they blot out the sun so I need to blink. I have to see them to look away again. A reminder that’s like stepping on a shard of glass from a broken vase that I missed when cleaning up the mess.

This time it’s different in its attempt for my attention. It somehow learned how to make my heart feel the squeezing, ashamed, and guilt that is more than displaced. I often wonder why I should be allowing these masses to make me feel this way and all I can surmise is that I’m so humanly flawed. Not the barricade I once stood so proud to be.

I’ve grown to hold many secrets. To keep my past locked away and buried deep within the sands of my depressive mind. I let the medication I take build the well that I’ve thrown them into.

Sometimes, a secret comes crawling out, leaving black stains along the mouth of the stone walls. It leers at me, gasping for the air I’ve refused it to have, and reminds me as it squelches towards me that nothing can be hidden forever.

I keep trying to ignore the clawing up my ankles or the pressure around my neck, or even the dryness from my unblinking eyes. But, they blot out the sun so I need to blink. I have to see them to look away again. A reminder that’s like stepping on a shard of glass from a broken vase that I missed when cleaning up the mess.

This time it’s different in its attempt for my attention. It somehow learned how to make my heart feel the squeezing, ashamed, and guilt that is more than displaced. I often wonder why I should be allowing these masses to make me feel this way and all I can surmise is that I’m so humanly flawed. Not the barricade I once stood so proud to be.

This goes out to anyone that was raised by narcissists and soon faced their narcissistic sibling/s.

Do. Not. Play. Ball.

Growing up I was severely neglected to the point that I had to go through years of speech therapy to learn how to speak, ribs that you could play a song on, and a history of the trifecta of abuse that could fill a documentary series on Netflix. So, I won’t go into those details, I’m sure you can all imagine.

My narc mom passed away in 2019 after I was her caretaker for 3 years. In 2022 I met my husband and soon left my home state for his and never turned back. I now have a beautiful, HAPPY family.

Since then, I told people that BOTH my parents have passed away while my father was still living and speaking with my middle brother. My middle brother believes everything my narc father says and denies that they both did anything wrong (my brother abuses his kids, my father abused us and me in many more ways than I’d like to recount).

My father is finally dying. In the ICU for not taking care of himself. Two years ago I asked my brother to NOT contact me and he’s disrespected my boundaries consistently with different numbers since I blocked him. My half brother who we met at the end of 2023 (my mother abandoned him at 1yo for my father) has been a ray of sunshine in my life and doesn’t speak to my full blooded brother because he judged him and picked on him. I bring this up because he accidentally gave my new number to my narc brother because he wanted to help “mend” our bond not realizing that my narc brother was manipulating him to get to me, then stopped talking to him. It broke my half brother’s heart. Made him feel real used.

I, again, asked my narc brother to not speak to me. It was relentless. I didn’t want to get a new number, I still don’t. I’m glad I didn’t because today I wasn’t being nice or playing his games.

I blew up. I said everything I wanted to say to him and he had his typically narc responses. Then had the nerve to tell ME to stop talking to him.

Fine. It’s what I’ve wanted. But the reason I’m writing this novel is not only to vent but to let my foolishness be an example of why playing a narc’s game isn’t worth it, even when the result (no talking) is achieved. Success doesn’t feel good when I’m reminded of the past I left behind and the behaviors I worked so hard to curb through years of therapy.

Just don’t give in. Keep ignoring them. I’m exhausted and feel defeated all over again.

Looking for friends to go to church with me. I’m 37/f married with twin boys. I go to a sweet, little church called Our Redeemer Lutheran Church in Newark, Delaware.

Looking for friends to go to church with me. I’m 37/f married with twin boys. I go to a sweet, little church called Our Redeemer Lutheran Church in Newark, Delaware.

Looking for friends to go to church with me. I’m 37/f married with twin boys. I go to a sweet, little church called Our Redeemer Lutheran Church in Newark, Delaware.

I signed up with my Dover Public Library membership so take advantage of the generosity of DelawareLibraries.org for getting this.

Like, what does a rainbow even smell like?

Hey there!

I live in Delaware and I wanted to go rockhounding in Delaware or the tri-state area? I’ve never done it before but have always really wanted to do it and my husband is interested, too.

I’m more interested in rocks with mineral veins and things like that.

My twins will be turning 1 year old in August. I’m looking for a venue anywhere in between Wilmington and Middletown.

I think I might be having around 15-20 guests.

We are having a “Wilds Ones” theme and considered the Zoo but I’m concerned about the older family members that will be attending and them being in the heat. I’m not sure if any indoor venues. I did consider a library meeting room, but unsure which library would be best and if they would allow it.

I think we might have a pretty flexible budget for it, too.

Any recommendations are appreciated! Thank you!