u/VeganMyWay

I just don’t know… will I really be using it for 5 years?

Twins

Current age: 5 1/2 months
Weeks at birth: 38 weeks
I’m just starting, two nights in.

Current schedule:
I try for a DWT of 8:00 AM. Nap times are currently variable and depend on when they go down. I’d eventually like their naps to be together. I aim for an 8:00 PM bedtime, but it is usually closer to 9:00 PM.

What was the previous schedule, including nap lengths?:
Their schedule has flexed around their feeding times. I’ve followed their hunger but insisted on feeding them together. They have generally been put to sleep with motion rather than being laid down awake.

Daycare:
They are just starting daycare Monday and Wednesday from 9:00 AM–3:00 PM. It’s a very small day care and provides me with any info I want.

How long before nap do you lay them down?:
Almost never before they are at least very groggy.

How long before bed do you lay them down?:
At bedtime, I would usually feed them around 7:30 PM and then take a stroller walk around town for about 1 1/2 hours. Motion puts and keeps them asleep. I stay gone walking long enough to feed them and then lay them down for the night when we get back. We’ve had basically the same sleep routine since they were about 2 months old.

If they’d both wake during that feeding once we were home I’d go for another walk. It is very rare either wakes again. If one isn’t ready for bed I’d rock them in the house.

Have they been sleep trained?
No formal sleep training before this. I’m just starting now and am two nights in. I lay them down in a completely dark room and only check on them if the crying sounds like they need something. The first night both cried for 1 1/2 hrs but settled before it was time for a bottle and slept well until they were hungry. Then slept normally through the night. Night two they cried less and settled faster.

If you are experiencing night wakes, how do you handle them?:
They generally wake about 3 times a night to eat, sometimes 2. The wakes are very clearly hunger-related, and they eat and go right back down without difficulty. I’d like the night feeding to decrease.

Questions/Issues/Details:
My main goal right now is to transition from relying heavily on motion/feeding to sleep toward being able to lay them down for naps and bedtime. BECAUSE… I’m having two hip surgeries and I’m a single mom. The surgery doesn’t have to happen right away but it does have to happen. Leading up to it and then after I have to keep all weight off my hip. I won’t be able to walk endlessly through town.

Recently feeding to sleep is less reliable.

I’m a single first time mom and my 5 month olds sleep pretty well at night. But there is no real bed time. 7-9, mostly 9.
I’ve put a lot of effort into keeping them on the same schedule eating, meaning, when one is hungry they both eat. So I’ve hoped they’d naturally fall into a similar sleep pattern. After all, during the day they eat every two hours (unless both napping sometimes, more recently, that can stretch past 3 hrs).
At night they sleep like 5-4-3 on a good night 4-3-3 most nights. Just waking up to eat and immediately going right back down together.
It’s also getting easier to lay them down. One is much easier to set down very drowsy. The other might take 3 tries but, when very drowsy, will go down eventually.
I’m scared to put them down 15 min before their nap time. I don’t know their nap time.
I’m tracking their sleep for a pattern but it’s all over the place and often heavily influenced by being in the car or stroller. Motion puts them both right to sleep.
I’d like their naps to be synchronized but it’s not a must. What is a must is them eating together and continuing to sleep through the night.
They mostly sleep 9-7 sometimes 7-7 or 10-8
They both nap 3x a day. If we are in the car it’s every time it moves.
I don’t even know what sleep method to pick.
We sleep in the same room.

What spoons are you using? I’m not prepared, they are 4 months so I’m surprised, and very excited, to introduce foods! I’m thinking bamboo bowls because they don’t hold heat or smells??
I think I want to avoid cereal, did anyone start with soft steamed veggies they can hold like broccoli? It’s mostly for fun now anyways, right?

I’m thinking steamed veggies, avocado, tofu, nut and seed butters (one at a time and spaced out). What about things like pickles? Too much salt?

I had a goal: pump 60 ounces in 24 hours.

Today, with my twins exactly 4m, 1w, and 1d old, I pumped 60.36 ounces.

Yesterday I pumped 48.69 ounces, so I’m definitely not expecting this to become my new normal. My 30-day average is 52.08 ounces, every day I hit 50, I breathe a little easier.

It’s never been and won’t become enough to exclusively breastfeed my kids, but I’m incredibly proud of it.

I’m proud that I stuck with the hours every day and every night. Most people never see the work behind the bottles.

No one in my everyday life is likely to understand why today feels like such a big deal, but I know many of you will.
So today I’m celebrating!

And while I’m at it: good job to every one of you who keeps showing up and pumping. Whether you made drops or donated some today, this is hard work, and it deserves to be recognized.💕

I just sized down for the 5th time and I’m not sure but the 15 mm might be too tight? I THINK my output is lower but it’s been 3 pumps. The nipples are sliding in the tube but it is super tight. And my lower output nipple is spraying like I’ve never seen. It also feels much more aggressive?? It’s far less pleasant than the 17 mm. It’s messed up but I’m willing to be this uncomfortable if it’s doing a better job. My output fluctuates so I’m worried if I try the 17 next pump and get a larger yield it’ll be circumstantial and I should be where I am…

Pumping is the loneliest thing I’ve ever done.
The other day a close friend told me, “You chose to have these babies. Nobody owes you anything.”
This is a friend who, when my twins were born, told me to text her pictures of my milk output and she’d send back a gold star because she knew how invisible pumping felt. She then suggested I make myself more scarce in order for the house to be as comfortable as possible.
My twins turn 4 months old in a few days. I pump the equivalent of a part-time job every day and every night. What I hate is how completely unseen it is. I’m treated as too much. I do almost all the dishes and someone will complain about the parts or milk in the fridge. I pump and feed my twins alone in my room. I don’t talk about my body or complain. I just keep doing it.
I heard over and over that breast milk was the gold standard. That it mattered. That it was important. People told me women that didn’t nurse were lazy. Now that I’m actually doing it, the message seems to be: “Breast milk is great, but if it’s too much for you, do whatever you want.”
But —it’s not too much for me. I don’t make enough for two but I make way more than enough for one.
I can do hard things.
And I find myself wishing that one person who sees me every day would say:
“That thing you’re spending hours doing? That thing that structures your entire day and night? That thing nobody sees? It’s worthwhile. It matters. You’re doing a good job.”
I don’t need permission to quit. But I wish it wasn’t true that milk will ALWAYS provide benefits to these kids. Ugh!!!
The same world that told me breast milk is so important seems completely uninterested in the work required to make it happen.

Edit: PS. I’m also mad that my nipples keep changing. No one explained this to me. I’m downsizing falanges in the middle of the night for the 5the time in less than 4 months. This is insane. And the people around me see the delivery and are like ‘Oh you need something else, again?’… like I’m sending myself flowers.

Edit2: Thank you everyone, this is exactly the support I really hoped for last night when I was feeling so defeated.
Also, I responded to another twin mom with a pretty detailed description of how I feed and pump at the same time with a picture for some reference.