u/Happyhour2to5

However it was never in writing. My landlord has always been very nice, understanding, and has always let us alter our units. He has had no problem with people painting the walls or fixing things up, and he'd always pay us back for any upgrades we made.

I've been living in my unit for 7 years and there are 4 other units here and everyone has also lived here about the same amount of time give or take a year. I asked my landlord in 2023 if I could change the door lock to a keypad lock, he said sure has long as he has the code and the key to it. So I replaced my lock and gave him the key and the code and any time i changed the code I would text him. I don't have proof of this however as it was all through text and every year or so i delete all old texts. 5 out of the 6 units here have since done the same thing.

I just got a letter from the landlords wife stating that it has come to "our" attention that some tenants have replaced their key accessible front door locks with programable keypad lock devices. It states its a violation of the lease agreement which it is, but it was never in writing because our landlord usually contacted us through telephone or text. Even if you would text him he would just call you and talk to you.

The notice was signed the landlords wife. The landlord has not sent us anything in writing stating that his wife was now our landlord. We have all been doing dealings with him personally.

I called her to tell her that I had permission from her husband many years ago to change the lock as long as he had the code and they key and he agreed. She states that she can not find it in writing thus is has to be changed back to the original. I don't have the original lock or key. Which im kicking myself for because I usually keep everything. I told her that I can go get a lock and install it and give her the key and she agreed. Though I am going to email her to get her confirmation that getting a lock and key that is not a keypad will suffice. I am just worried because I've lived here for 7 years and rent it still affordable for me here with the space I have and the home I've made this unit in that time. I can't afford anywhere else in this city. Do I have any rights here since nothing was in writing? And if I do change the lock to where she has a key will that suffice? Also If she's going to be handling the building from here on out should a new lease be signed?

All of us were given permission from our landlord to change our locks but none of it was through email so we are all getting threatened with eviction. She wants a master lock which also seems unsafe if all the doors have the same lock. I don't know I'm just a little stressed. Any advice would be appreciated. Already stressed so I don't need criticism of not having anything in writing. I will be contacting whoever I can for tenants rights tomorrow during my work breaks. Any advice on who the first people to contact should be?

My soon to be ex bf and I have dated for roughly 6-7 months. It started when he was staying with me for work and would go back to his city on weekends to take care of family stuff. We quickly realized we were very much the same person in two different opposite bodies and I fell for him hard. I’d always overhear his conversations with his daughter while he was with me and I admired his presence and constant phone calls with her while he was away, about a 3-4 hr commute away. He supported her in any way by just being present even though there was distance.

A few times though I’d hear how he talked to her, she would send him pictures of her in an outfit or dress for whatever school thing was going on and he would always say she looked sexy. I thought this was incredibly inappropriate and no father should ever refer to their offspring as sexy. Am I weird for thinking that crosses a line?

Anyway, I was recently visiting him because he’s going through some life stuff that has plummeted him into a deep depression so I went to show him he has support and isn’t alone. During my visit, he was often short and cold with me. Seemed uninterested in my presence even though I was cooking and cleaning his house so he would t need to think about those things and just focus on himself. He started going to therapy and I was so over the moon he was taking those steps to being better. Well, one of these days when I was trying to cheer him up and saw nothing I did was working, his daughter arrived home. As soon as they were together he was laughing and engaging and his depression seemed to vanish instantly. The thing is, from what he’s told me. She is one of his major stressors. She doesn’t want to go to school, may not graduate. She has no job or desire to learn how to drive and he just smokes weed with her all the time and mushrooms on occasion and doesn’t push her to get out there because she has social anxiety. He literally lets her do what she wants. And she wants nothing but to be taken care of, have him around like a statue with no life of his own, so he’s there when she needs something from him and daddy is more than willing to sacrifice his own life, wants, needs and desires to let her do nothing and be there for her when she decides to stay home.

I was there for a week and cleaned his house, made meals, washed the dishes, took out him recycling and composting and got “don’t do that. It’s my job,” instead of a thank you, thank you for taking care of the things that would pile up while I’m in this depressive state. I tried so hard to make him see he had support and love and was met with this unresponsive sad man. But the moment his daughter walked in he was all smiles like nothing was wrong and was laughing and it was like his depression vanished.

I understand they are close and there’s nothing like a daughters love, she’s engaging where as I’m quiet, trying to give him space to think and be. But I felt like no one could ever compare and make him as happy as his sexy daughter. We have one more week together coming up and then we are done. We both know that. But I feel like I’ve wasted my time trying to love and care for this man when all he really wants is his daughter. Like the sheer amount of times I’ve heard him call her sexy is actually very disturbing to me. I guess this is more of a vent but it does focus on a few relationship dynamics. So has anyone else experienced something like this? Where did it go? Was there ever a solution? Like, there no salvaging this right? The thing is we have been long distance when we aren’t working on the same project and during that time he always made time to answer her calls or call her when he could. But since we have been long distance, which has been long I often find myself left with hours of no response se and I call and he picks up maybe half the time. I guess theres just no room for me.

Even though he says I’m the best thing to ever happen to him, I’m extremely attractive and he’s never been physically attracted to anyone else he’s been with like he is me and that I deserve to be put on a pedestal and worshipped. Like I’m confused as all hell here. He says he’s never considered marriage till me and now he doesn’t see this working because of distance though he still made things work with his daughter through distance by making himself present through phone calls and visits on the weekends.

I don’t need much. I’ve lived very independently my entire life and have been in long distance relationships. Even just a phone call once or twice would be enough for me. But he doesn’t seem interested and says it’s because he can’t be there for me….? I think it’s a cop out. I was really hoping things would work because I’ve never felt like I can be myself it’s someone like I have with him.