Am I wrong to believe that if a project isn't feasible anymore and not worth all the time, stress, and money spent on it, it's okay to end it? Projects fail all the time, and the successful ones eventually end along the way. I don't see the point of working on something that's meaningless and just causing pain.
I've been thinking about this lately.
Is it better to try something over and over again, fail repeatedly, and eventually reach a point where you lose hope because you've proven to yourself that it just doesn't work? The downside is that you also lose the motivation, excitement, and belief that kept you going in the first place.
Or is it better not to try at all? You'd still have that small sense of hope, even if it's based on not really knowing what would've happened. At least you'd keep your drive, your eagerness, and your confidence intact instead of watching them slowly disappear.
Is painful certainty better than hopeful uncertainty?
I'm curious how other people see it because I've started feeling this way myself. Lately, I've had less and less motivation to improve myself, date, or even try to meet someone. I don't even look at women and think, "Maybe I should go talk to her" anymore. My mind just assumes it's not worth trying, and I move on.
Has anyone else gone through this?
I'm asking this out of curiosity.
I'm 30, have never been in a relationship, never been intimate with a woman, and I'm wondering what life looks like further down the road if things don't change.
I rarely, if ever, meet men in their 40s, 50s, or older who have never had a relationship or any sexual experience. It makes me wonder where they are and what their lives are actually like.
If you're in that situation, I'd really appreciate hearing your experience.
Do you feel lonely most of the time, or have you built a fulfilling life regardless?
Are you generally happy?
What does your day to day life look like?
Looking back, what would you want someone in their 20s/30s in a similar position to know?
I'm not looking for generic advice like "work on yourself" or "it'll happen when you least expect it." I'm specifically hoping to hear from people who have actually lived this experience, whether your life turned out well, badly, or somewhere in between.
I've noticed something that doesn't seem to match what people say publicly.
A lot of women will say that a man's virginity doesn't matter, but in practice it often feels like virgin men are viewed negatively, ridiculed, or seen as socially inferior. Maybe that's not everyone's experience, but it's definitely been mine.
I recently watched a YouTube video where a guy was asking women whether they'd date a virgin. Many of the responses came across as if the idea was strange, awkward, or unattractive. It reinforced a feeling I've had for years.
In my own life, I've been mocked both directly and indirectly for never having been in a relationship. If I got a dollar every time someone made a joke or comment about it or male virginity in general, I'd probably be at least $50 richer.
One comment that stuck with me was when someone said, "You can't miss cake if you've never eaten it before." Everyone laughed. At the time I didn't fully realize it was probably a joke about my lack of relationship experience, but looking back, it definitely felt like a dig. I assume people connect the dots because they've never seen me with a woman and can probably tell I'm inexperienced.
What makes it difficult is that once you reach your late 20s or 30s, being inexperienced seems to carry a stigma. People start wondering what's "wrong" with you, and it can feel like you're being judged before anyone even gets to know you, Which can feel lonely and hopeless knowing that you're only getting older and you're chance are getting slimmer. And sometimes I legit feel like I want to delete myself, which pathetic when you think about it.
For those of you who were late bloomers, or who have dated someone with little or no experience, how much does virginity actually matter? Is the stigma real, or am I letting a few negative experiences shape my perception?