Day 1 post bilateral skin saving nipple losing mastectomy with DtI
Good morning ladies! I started browsing this sub the week before my bilateral when I felt strong enough to start engaging, and it helped a lot reading stories, so I’m here to give back.
42f DCIS right breast, hopefully no lymph node involvement but we are waiting.
I chose the bilateral because it was the only way that I could potentially avoid radiation and hormone blockers. For me, those were worse case scenarios than the surgery, especially considering that it would not prevent recurrence as well as the surgical option.
It was so so so hard to hang on to that decision. Even though I knew in my soul it was right for me. Because my cancer was caught so early I had the opportunity to make a choice, which is good but also SO hard. Doctors kept telling me whatever you want and not really validating me in my choice. Though their nurses all did. I finally broke down the week before surgery at my cosmetic surgeons office saying I just want you to tell me what to do! I feel like everyone’s just saying whatever you want to do and I don’t WANT to do anything. I don’t want to choose to mutilate my body. And my surgeon said you’re not mutilating yourself, that’s what machetes are for. And then she firmly reminded me that what I’m choosing is to beat cancer. I’m choosing to live. I’m choosing to avoid chemical treatments. So that helped me a lot.
Now today 24 hours in the pain is not bad. When I’m sitting down it’s totally fine. When I walk around it feels like I have giant rocks on my chest. But overall the pain so far feels mostly like I did an insane chest workout and now have DOMS from that. My boobs are under cellophane and swollen but even so I wasn’t afraid to look at them like I thought i would be. They look very very fake right now, it will be interesting to see if they improve. I’ll keep updating on that.
All in all, it hasn’t been as hard or as sad as I thought it was. The afternoon I came home which was the day of, my husband said I can see that your spirit is lighter. And I think that about sums it up.