u/HauntingAward

Been about a month had surgery 2nd June. Normal or no? Only one scar is like this, I have posted a normal one too for reference.
Idk but it has deleted my pics

Hi, I’m 24F.

I would like responses that don’t include just reduce your screen time (It’s only like this because I have time off) or just be yourself!

Right now, I spend most of my time in bed on my phone. My screen time is usually around 10 hours a day, sometimes up to 15. This is a big issue, but even when I’m not using my phone as escapism, I still end up isolating myself. During these 10-15 hours I still don’t respond to friends etc.

I tend to avoid people because of how I feel when I’m around them. I don’t feel like I’m being myself, and I have this strong belief that my “real” self isn’t very likeable. I also notice I often see the worst in people, so I end up feeling like if I fully showed how I think and feel, it wouldn’t go well.
I think I’ve developed a really unhealthy pattern when it comes to socialising, and I don’t really know how to break it.

Like with money stuff, I’ll offer to pay for things and then insist they don’t pay me back, but later I end up resenting it silently. And it’s not even like they forced me, it was my own choice. I could’ve just said no. But in the moment I feel weirdly ashamed or uncomfortable letting people pay me back or not offering in the first place.

Then with new friends it just becomes a habit really quickly and I start thinking if I suddenly change it’ll look weird or fake, like “why is she acting different now?” so I just carry on even when I don’t actually want to.

Another thing is I can’t really control how I look when I’m out. My words are overly positive but my face apparently shows how I actually feel. So I end up basically performing being fine, trying to look happy, acting like I’m enjoying it, but it doesn’t match. I only found out recently from my sister that it’s obvious, I’m not fooling anyone.

Then after I go out I just overthink everything and feel really ashamed of myself and like I’m draining to be around or just this negative person. Then I decide I should just avoid people because clearly I’m better off alone, and then the cycle repeats.
I don’t really know how to break it, I just know it’s making me avoid people more and more.

TL;DR:
I have a pattern of people-pleasing in social situations (especially around paying for things and acting overly positive), then I feel resentment and shame afterwards. I also tend to overthink how I come across, mask my true feelings, and end up avoiding people, which creates a cycle of isolation and overthinking. I’m trying to understand how to break this pattern rather than just “be myself” or “use my phone less.”

I AM SCARED PLEASE SOMEONE TALK ME DOWN FROM CANCELLING!!!
It is at 7:30 am today legit in a few hours im so scared

I’m having laparoscopic gallbladder removal surgery in about a week and I’m honestly getting pretty anxious about the recovery.

I’ve never had surgery before or been under general anaesthetic, so the whole thing feels really overwhelming. Weirdly I think I’m more nervous about recovering afterward than the actual surgery itself. NO SCRATCH THAT IM SCARED OF IT ALL!!!!

A lot of my anxiety is around the incisions, especially seeing and cleaning them, as well as things like getting up and down, standing for long periods, cooking food, digestion after surgery, and dealing with diarrhea or urgent bowel movements while the incisions are still fresh. I’m also worried about how long it takes to feel “normal” again.

For context, I’m 23F, around 86 kg at 157 cm, and most of my weight is carried in my lower abdomen and upper abdomen/chest area, so I’m worried movement and pressure on the incisions will hurt more. I already tend to get diarrhea pretty easily even before surgery because of my IBS, and I’m currently on a liver reduction diet before the operation, so I’m also worried about reintroducing carbs and fats afterward.

I live upstairs, so I’m trying to plan ahead and make recovery as easy as possible. But I’m not sure what I should do

What I’m struggling to picture realistically is how many days people actually felt rough for, when you could comfortably stand in the kitchen again, and when you were able to cook properly or clean up normally. I’m also curious about how bad the fatigue actually was, what foods were easiest at first, whether diarrhea after surgery was temporary or severe, and how quickly people could tolerate greasy food again.

I think my anxiety brain is convincing me I’ll basically be useless for weeks, so I’d really appreciate hearing honest experiences from people who’ve actually had this surgery.

Also, if there’s anything small or practical that helped your recovery that people don’t usually mention, I’d love to hear it.