u/Haunting_Werewolf527

I just got diagnosed last year and I'm in my early 30s.

I job hop a lot, I've always known this. However, I've always been *good* at every job I've had. I've worked hard, focused, and done well, I just can't stay doing one thing for more than a year or two. I always told myself this was just because I wasn't making myself accept less than I deserve and I'm moving up and towards something better.

Now I've been at my job for 3 years. It's the longest I've ever been in one place. It's a good job, it pays well, I like it, however it's highly competitive. Over the years I've felt myself slowly losing interest. I'm at the point where I *should* be starting to work towards the next step in my career there, but my heart just isn't in it any more. I think my colleagues have noticed. I'm getting passed over for opportunities, because why would they give me opportunities when they can give them to someone who is more dedicated and there's dozens of people vying for the same spot? Instead of making me refocus, it's created a snowball effect where I've decided I don't want to work hard because there's no point, which is making me fall farther. I'm doubting my abilities, my choices, etc. and I get mad at myself for throwing away a really good career. To make matters worse, I then suffer from rejection dysphoria where I've decided that missing out on opportunities means my coworkers and supervisors all hate me because I'm weird and off-putting.

Now I'm struggling because if this job isn't good enough, nothing will be. I'm realizing I'm going to deal with these same issues everywhere. The issue isn't that I was just working towards something that will finally be good enough, it's that nothing *will* be good enough. If nothing is good enough, then what do I do? I don't want to be working jobs where I'm constantly antsy for *more* forever and wondering if I'm missing out on something.