[QCrit] THE SHADOWS THAT BIND THE FLAME, Adult Romantasy, 108k (4th attempt)
Hello again, everyone! I greatly appreciate feedback I received on my previous attempt. Based on feedback, I wrote this draft in the format of a romance query, which is different form my previous attempts. And with a recommendation from outside this sub, I am now categorizing this as romantasy (originally urban fantasy romance). I still feel like this could be a lot better (and I'll be honest, I've lowkey been spiraling over it). Thanks in advance for any feedback!
Link to most recent attempt: https://www.reddit.com/r/PubTips/comments/1ssncpw/qcrit_the_shadows_that_bind_the_flame_new_title/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
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Dear [Agent],
I’m thrilled to present THE SHADOWS THAT BIND THE FLAME, an adult romantasy novel set in a modern secondary world. It stands alone with series potential and is complete at 108,000 words. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the supernatural hierarchy of City Of Gods And Monsters by Kayla Edwards and the slow-burn, forced proximity romance of Rain Of Shadows And Endings by Melissa K. Roehrich.
For eighty years, Sarry has repressed the mysterious power that nearly cost her life and hidden from the vampiric fiend who tried to claim it. In a city ruled by The Empire, where anything inhuman is executed, she survives by keeping her head down and her heart locked away. When a fiend loyal to her attacker corners her, Sarry fights back and the moment she does, The Empire notices. Instead of killing her, they recruit her into their secret elite unit of supernatural soldiers who hunt the city’s deadliest threats.
Sarry is partnered with Sen, a lethal fiend with the power to end a life in a heartbeat. He keeps everyone at arm’s length, especially Sarry. Used as a weapon his entire life, every kill drags him closer to his darkness consuming him. Yet in the rare moments when his armor cracks, Sarry sees the same unwanted power, unhealed wounds, and loneliness she’s carried for decades. The more time they spend together, the harder it becomes to ignore how she steadies him when his darkness threatens to take hold and how, with him, she doesn’t have to hide. Against every instinct she’s honed to survive, he makes her wonder what it would feel like to stop running.
When her training uncovers forgotten memories, Sarry recognizes a presence in the chaos of the night she nearly died–Sen was there. He confesses he's been watching over her for decades, protecting her from the shadows, and hiding a truth about that night that could shatter the fragile trust growing between them. Before she can demand answers, her pursuer strikes again, and Sarry realizes Sen will sacrifice himself, body and soul, to protect her. To save him, Sarry must embrace the power she’s always feared or lose the one person who makes her believe she deserves more than survival.
[Bio]
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