I don't know if this is a vent or if I'm looking for advice or just wanting to hear from people who have gone through something similar.

I recently went on a trip to South India. Before leaving, we left our cat with a pet sitter. The pet sitting was personal, not officially through the pet shop, but we found her through the shop where she works. She told us she had experience with cats and pet boarding, and because of that we trusted her.

I wish every day that we had made a different decision.

While we were away, communication was bad. We would ask for updates and sometimes get nothing for hours. We had to keep asking for photos. During video calls we saw our cat in a cage even though we were told he would be comfortable and free.

We got worried enough that we decided to cut our trip short and come back.

Before we could even get home, we got a call around 4 AM saying our cat had escaped from the apartment. According to the Pet sitter the cat opened the double-locked window and broke the cat proof net and jumped from the 3rd floor.

That was 6 days ago.

Since then my life has basically stopped.

My mom and I have spent every day searching. Talking to watchmen, asking people in buildings, speaking to feeders, checking corners, checking parking lots, following every tiny lead. The area is so congested with societies and buildings that I don't even know where to begin anymore.

What hurts is that I feel like the focus shifted from finding my cat to getting me to remove my review.

The pet sitting was personal, but because we found and trusted the sitter through the pet shop, I left a review there to make other pet owners aware of what happened. Maybe some people think that was unfair. Maybe I was wrong. I honestly don't know anymore.

But after that there were calls asking me to remove it, discussions about reputation, arguments, and very little acknowledgment that our cat is still missing. The pet sitter blamed it on my cat for running away instead of feeling sorry. Her daughter also kept saying its not our responsibility if he ran away.

One thing that keeps replaying in my head is something the pet sitter's daughter said to me.

She said, "Your first cat ran away too, wasn't that your responsibility?"

And honestly that broke me.

Because she knew my first cat was old and had run away from our home on his own. This isn't the same thing.

This time we were trying to do the responsible thing. We wanted our cat to be safe, fed, and looked after while we were away.

Instead he's gone.

The worst part is seeing my mom.

Every morning I wake up and she's already outside searching. Sometimes she barely eats. Sometimes she barely sleeps. I know she's carrying so much guilt because she was the one who finally agreed to the pet boarding.

And I'm carrying guilt too.

I keep thinking maybe we should never have gone on the trip. Maybe we should have trusted our instincts. Maybe we should have done literally anything else.

I always wanted a cat growing up.

Then somehow two cats just appeared in my life. My first cat literally showed up at our door. Then this boy came into our lives too. It felt like destiny.

I had my first cat for around 7 months.

I had this boy for around 7 months too.

Such a short amount of time, but somehow they completely changed me. They made me softer. More patient. More loving.

Now my mom says she never wants another pet again because losing them hurts too much.

And honestly I understand.

Right now it doesn't feel like a missing pet. It feels like we've lost a family member and nobody around us really understands that.

I keep thinking about him outside.

Is he hungry?

Did someone take him in?

Is he hiding somewhere scared?

Is he trying to find us?

I don't know.

I just hope he's safe.

And if anyone here has had a cat go missing and eventually come back, I would really like to hear your story because I'm having a really hard time staying hopeful. I feel beyond miserable rn.